SIR POOH THE GREAT AND GUMMIFUL

BY

BOB WRIGHT

AUTHOR'S NOTE: You may recall how the theme song to the former Gummi Bears/Winnie the Pooh Hour block went "Winnie and the Gummis, rolled into one." After some thinking, I devised this way to in fact roll them into one. Pooh and his friends are largely thus as they were in The New Adventures of Winnie the Pooh here, for your benefit.

Adventures of the Gummi Bears and the popular modern conceptions of Winnie the Pooh and friends are registered trademarks of the Walt Disney Company; Pooh as a character is a registered trademark of the A.A. Milne Estate, or whichever similar group would hold the claim. And now, sit back and enjoy the story.

"Onward, men, there's not much more to go," ordered the large mustached man, waving the virtual army of ogres following him up the side of the steep mountain forward.

"Humble Toadie feeling exhausted," complained the small green ogre directly behind him, "Can't we take a rest?"

"Rest? We only rested seventy miles ago! You can manage this, Toadwart!" the man snapped at him, "See, the destination is in sight," he pointed upwards at the ruined fortress above him, "At last, the treasures of the ancient Gummis, and no one to stop me from getting them...!"

"Dukey, sound like knights still on our tail," another ogre called out below. And indeed, the man could hear, over the grunts of his ogres, the sound of horses and men's shouts in the woods below. "Then we don't have much time," he declared, grabbing hold of the ledge atop the mountain, "We need to find something quickly, because I want blood now!"

He hauled himself up and glanced towards the east, where, even from a great distance, the glow of an epic fire could be seen burning. "I never thought you'd have the nerve, Gregor; attacking Drekkmore directly and burning my castle to the ground!" he growled out loud, his fists and teeth clenched in hatred, "Well, if you want total war against Duke Sigmund Igthorne, then it's total war you shall have! And now, let's see what those accursed Gummis can give me to use against you!"

"Most fortunate Dukey found map to abandoned Gummi fortress in closet before castle burned down," Toadwart opined, gesturing at the parchment in Igthorne's hand.

"Indeed so," Igthorne kicked the door to the fortress open. "All right, men; find me a weapon, a magical item, anything that can be used against Dunwyn!" he ordered his ogres, who surged forward into the fortress. He held up his hand at the last two ogres in line. "I have a job for the two of you," he told them, "Head to Carpy Mountain and propose a formal alliance with the Carpy King. It's about time I utilize those flying terrors."

"You got it, Dukey," the ogres saluted him and bustled off down a mountain trail on the other side of the peak. Igthorne hurried into the fortress himself; the shouts of the knights were getting louder, hinting King Gregor's troops had locked in on their trail and were starting to climb the mountain. He hoped to find something quick, or it was likely all over, especially this high off the ground...

"Anything?" he called to his ogres, who were throwing objects in the ruined hall all over the place.

"Nothing yet, Dukey," a large yellow ogre declared, reaching for a table to toss, but accidentally grabbing Toadwart instead. The small ogre was hurled into a painting of a Great Gummi wizard on the wall...

...which fell down off the wall with him, revealing a secret cavity behind it. "Good work, Toady; think you found something," Igthorne commended his dazed adjutant. "Yes, Gummi medallions!" he exclaimed, snatching a whole box of them out of the compartment, "Yes, these will definitely come in handy, if I can figure out how to work them . And what's this?"

He shoved the box of medallions to Toadwart and snatched a long scroll out of the hole. "Hmm, very interesting," he mused, his eyebrows going up.

"What that say, Dukey?" an orange ogre leaned over his shoulder.

"It says here that a band of ancient Gummis were besieged by humans in this fortress centuries ago," Igthorne read off the scroll, "They opened a portal to another realm to escape just as the fortress was falling-and the portal is right over there," he pointed at a large mirror on the wall, "And the incantation to open it is right here," he noticed it at the bottom of the scroll, "Yes, this is perfect, men; we'll escape to another realm, and plot our revenge there, where Gregor will never reach us..."

"Dukey, knights are in fortress!" another ogre called up the hall. And Igthorne could now hear the shouts of Dunwyn's finest troops echoing off the stone walls of the fortress. "Then let's go now!" he rushed to the mirror, grabbed a Gummi medallion out of Toadwart's box, and slipped it over his neck. "Undrite Acrite Oodrite!" he rapidly read the incantation on the scroll. With a loud zapping sound, the mirror lit up with a bright light...

...right as the Dunwyn knights rushed into the hall, swords and pikes drawn. "Hold it right there, Duke Igthorne!" demanded the red mustached leader of the knights, stepping forward with his sword extended towards the duke, "You're under arrest in the name of King Gregor for treason against the kingdom of Dunwyn...!"

"Really, Sir Tuxford? Catch me if you can! Some of you hold them off!" Igthorne leaped through the portal in the mirror. Toadwart and most of the ogres quickly followed, the rest swinging their clubs at the knights until the portal started closing, at which point they themselves dove through right before it closed. Sir Tuxford pressed against the now ordinary mirror. "He got away," he mumbled softly.

"Do you have him, Sir Tuxford?" the sea of knights parted to reveal King Gregor himself, in his full war regalia, stepping towards the mirror.

"Unfortunately not, sire; he seems to have escaped into some other world through this," Sir Tuxford pointed at the mirror.

"Did he?" Gregor pressed against the mirror, but nothing happened. "Do you have any idea where this might lead to?"

"I'm afraid I don't rightly know, sire."

Oh well, I guess it doesn't matter. Dunwyn is safe if he's left it. Establish a guard of a few knights here to make sure he doesn't come back," Gregor ordered his top knight. "Good work, men," he commended his entire command, "Dunwyn is safe now. Our seven hundredth anniversary celebration can now proceed in peace."

"Sire, look," one of the knights was picking up a dropped medallion from the floor, "This almost looks like...dare I say...a Gummi Bear medallion?"

"Let me see that," Gregor took it off him and examined it closely, "No, probably just a trinket dropped by a transient that spent the night here. After all, there are no such things as Gummi Bears. All right men, let's go home."

With low cries, Igthorne and his ogres tumbled through the other end of the portal, landing with a splash in a brook running underneath a small wooden bridge. "That fun; let's do that again," an ogre in the back of the line declared.

"Where we at?" another chimed in, glancing around, "Look just like Dunwyn woods."

"It sort of does," Igthorne agreed, trudging to the bank and wringing himself dry, "I can see why the Great Gummis might have fled to here."

"So what we do now?" a third ogre asked out loud, joining his boss on the bank.

"Start searching for any sign of the Great Gummis in here," Igthorne ordered, "Anything we can find, let's figure out how best to use it."

"Okey dokey, Duke-amondo. Start searching, men!" Toadwart ordered the other ogres, who started shoving over boulders and uprooting trees. Igthorne stepped aside as several of them seized hold of a large oak tree next to him and hurled it across the brook...

...sending a small bluebird that had landed on it flying along with it. "Hey, what's going on!?" she protested out loud, rolling onto the grass.

"Ooh, birdie speak!" a purple ogre grabbed the bluebird before she could move, "This magic place indeed!"

"Let me see that bird," Igthorne rushed over the bridge above the portal; talking animals were a good sign there were Great Gummis somewhere nearby. "All right, Bird," he snatched the bluebird off the ogre, "I have a few questions, and I'll expect some answers."

"My name is Kessie," the bluebird said firmly, "And what are...?"

"I don't care what your name is. I want to know, where are the Gummi Bears," Igthorne asked her sternly, "I know they came through here, so don't try and lie your way out of this."

"Gummi Bears? I don't know any Gummi Bears. The only bear I know is Win-" Kessie abruptly stepped and clapped her wings over her beak, realizing she'd said too much. "So there is a bear here. Where is he?" Igthorne demanded.

"I...I wouldn't know...and I won't tell someone like you."

"Really?" Igthorne leaned ominously in her face, "I have ways to make little birds talk..."