Kawatta Saisei
By Shade
Author's Note: Some how this story was cultivated while I was sick and staying home and just happened to be listing to Sound Check...er Gravity...::er whatever if you don't know what song I mean ya just don't:: by Gorillaz. Don't ask me how I managed to come up with this, somehow I could just visualize Zelgadiss listing to the cd ::rolls eyes:: so of course that made me think of a fic I started to write but never really got it past the third chapter so I never posted it. Of course now I have a new idea so maybe it'll turn out alright.
Disclaimer: Slayers does not belong to me. K-chan does however belong to me. K-chan is one of my MANY alter egos ::thinks:: lets see there's Shade, Nene, Ukyo, Magenta, Shinmiri...uh okay...maybe Shade is my only alter ego but she has been all of these people even though her personality generally stayed the same but you get the point. You get the point...K-chan is loosely based on me...
Lina sat impatiently in the large room. This was soooo boring. She thought Xelloss was the only one supposed to get summoned by Lord Beastmaster, not them. Apparently she wanted to ask a favor of them...which must have not been that important because THEY WERE STILL WAITING! Lina looked around the room, Gourry was asleep on an overstuffed cushion like sofa...thing. He was snoring quiet loudly and obviously disturbing Zelgadiss who was trying his hardest to locate and destroy some type of bird that had found its way into the large room and had yet to shutup.
"Gourry WAKEUP!" The snoring had begun to blend with the birds high-pitched chirp.
Filia was playing draw the Xelloss on the floor with your mace and smash it to pieces game which seemed to be keeping her occupied at least until she could find the real one to kill. Sylphiel was also preoccupied only she was trying to save the poor bird from Zel. Amelia had just kind of been left behind. That's what you get for sleeping in, Lina thought hypocritically.
"Okay Lord Beastmaster will see you now," Xelloss phased into the room.
"About time!" Lina stood her cape swishing from side to side as she angrily walked past Xelloss.
"Nagomi," Filia cursed under her breath waving the mace threateningly in Xelloss's direction. Xelloss simply smiled smugly and laughed a little.
"I'm not ready to go," Zelgadiss announced keeping his eyes on the rafters.
"No! Leave immediately Zelgadiss-san!" Sylphiel warned putting her body in front of Zel like a shield.
"Oh let him kill it!" Lina winced as the bird chirped again "We can eat it," Lina smiled at her ingenuity.
"Lina-chan!" Shypiall couldn't believe her ears.
"Norton?!" Xelloss looked a bit distressed "Gawd don't kill Norton!"
After pondering who this God was Zelgadiss glared at the Mazoku "Norton? The annoying bird would belong to him,"
"But Norton is the best bird there ever was, see?" Xelloss looked towards the multicolored canary "Norton sic bakayaro!" There was a blur of colors and suddenly Filia was screaming.
"AAAAHHHHHHHHH I'm being dive bombed! HELP HELP HELP!!!"
Everyone entered the largest room together, Gourry now awake, Syphiall sobbing, Zelgadiss emotionless, Lina holding back laughter, Filia twitching in anger and her hair for lack of a better word mangled, and Xelloss sadly holding the fried carcass of Norton. They approached the beautiful woman smoking the cigarette awkwardly before Lina finally spoke up "What?!" her voice was almost desperate.
"Well you see-" the Beastmaster began crossing her legs delicately "The final piece of Shabranigto seems to be-"
"Hold it!" Lina made a face "Shabranigto?! You're...heh...kidding...right?"
"No, I am not. It seems that there were...eight pieces...and well-"
"HAHAHAHAHAHA-ha-hac-ha
The Beastmaster looked quiet unphased by this and simply eyed Norton.
"Why can't you just send Xelloss?" Zel said angrily as he crossed his arms.
"Oh he's going," the Beastmaster said as-a-matter-of-factly.
Xelloss looked surprised but didn't dare object.
"Ha ha," Filia smirked.
Gourry who hadn't said a word ye chose to speak now "So we're going to Earf?"
Lord Beastmaster cradled her head in her right hand "Yes Gourry...Earth..."
"Can you believe this?!" Lina demanded "She just tells us we're going to Earth! What's Earth?! Where's our choice?!" Lina pulled some of the blanket off of Filia and onto herself. They had all been put into one bedroom, which had pissed Lina off even more. There was a very large bed in the room but then again only one. Lina was now sleeping between Filia and Sylphiel and complaining quiet loudly. Zelgadiss, Gourry, and Xelloss however were forced to share a single blanket on the floor.
"I am not sleeping with the fruitcake!" Zelgadiss clawed at the door to the room as Xelloss laid on the floor beside yet again snoring Gourry.
"I don't blame you!" Filia called off the bed "Now Lina-san p-please don't take all the cover,"
"C'mon Zel," Xelloss laughed. Honestly he was no more thrilled about this than Zelgadiss was but anything that pissed off Zel was worth his while.
"Lina-san f-frezzeing,"
"Not gonna," Zelgadiss crossed his arms and pouted like a child. Lina held back a laugh.
"Pneumonia,"
"Oh come on!" Xelloss was only motivated by Zel's tantrum.
"Thank you Lina-chan!"
"No, I'm not..." Zel's voice trailed off as he rubbed his arms. It was cold in here. He was chimera and still he could tell it was cold. Zel whimpered.
"Hehehe," Xelloss realized Zel's dilemma "Suit yourself," with that he laid down the lights going off as if on cue.
It was colder with the lights off, Zel realized. Moving his weight from one foot to the other he shivered. Just sit down, he decided and brought his knees to his chest in the corner. This wasn't so bad, it was cozy, it was comfortable, it was fucking freezing! I can't take it anymore!, Zel reluctantly pulled back the sheet and laid down. It was a lot warmer...but...
"Pillow Zelly?" Zel could barely see the faint outline of Xelloss next to him but he could hear Lina's laughter loud and clear.
Grumbling Zel snatched the pillow from Xelloss and moved as far as he could away before closing his eyes.
"Xelloss?"
"Sleeping,"
"Xelloss?"
"Still sleeping,"
"Xelloss?"
"Stop,"
"
Xelloss sat bolt upright as Filia nearly blew out his eardrum.
"Class is over nagomi," she said sweetly obviously proud of her work and skipped from the class.
Xelloss shook his head as though trying to shake off the fatigue. Had he actually fallen asleep in class. Wow, he was generally wired. Oh well Xelloss new the drill. Leaning over he shook the young teen sleeping on a desk beside him, a large pool or drool accumulated where her head was. "Lovely," Xelloss laughed as he shook the girl by the shoulder.
"Hai?" the girl sat up, her eyes half closed as her body wavered. She was wearing cameo pants and a green shirt with an orange star on it. Her combat boots swung around the desk and staggering she stood.
"Alright K-chan?" Xelloss giggled taking his books in one arm and pushing K-chan down the hall with the other.
"But-of-course," K-chan woke up and looked at the clock "Ack, I'm late!"
Xelloss watched her go. The day had been usual so far. Wake-up in first period and fall asleep in second. Carelessly Xelloss dropped his books outside his locker and walked down the hall. There wasn't anything valuable among the pile anyway. It wasn't as though anyone was in need of another students text books so he simply left them there. He didn't really feel like going to third period. For some reason he didn't feel his usual self today. He couldn't quiet explain it. Xelloss crossed the hall and went into the boy's bathroom. Maybe he was just being weird...wait he was weird...maybe, gasp, he was being normal. Xelloss tried not to think about "normal" as he went into the last stall and climbed stepped onto the toilet seat and then the metal post(er that weird thing that the flushers on...)...and lifted up a ceiling tile. "There," Xelloss pulled himself into the ceiling ::No this will work...it was done at my school many a time...trust me::
"Oh no," came a voice from behind Xelloss as he replaced the tile. Xelloss turned to see Zelgadiss wince and crawl further back in the limited space.
Xelloss laughed. "Nice to see you too Zelly," He was graciously greeted with the single finger salute.
"Oh, I'm hurt," Xelloss dramatically clutched his chest.
"Go away,"
"You-" Xelloss was cut off as Lina poked her head through one of the tiles on the opposite side, these over the girl's bathroom "Zel?"
"Hi Lina," Xelloss said happily leaning over gingerly so that he was lying on his stomach on the frame of two tiles.
"Hi Xelloss," Lina returned the greeting but with less enthusiasm. Lina moved her head to the right so that she was looking at Zel "Zel we have a test in Literature so you might wanna come to class,"
Zel groaned.
"Hey! Don't you blame me! I don't make the schedules. I just thought it would be nice to warn you so if you start-" Zel put a hand over her mouth.
"Quiet," he hissed.
Lina squealed with anger and proceeded to try to bight his hand.
"Lina shutup and climb up. A janitor's coming,"
Lina shook her head "No, I can't. I-"
"Come on Lina sink to our level," Xelloss giggled.
"And what level is that?" Zel glared at Xelloss.
The janitors footsteps sounded in Lina's ears and hurriedly she pulled herself into the ceiling and replaced the tile like Xelloss had.
"I'm not on a level," Zelgadiss said quietly as glaring at Xelloss.
Xelloss was watching the janitor clean the floors of the girl's restroom "Yes you are,"
"What level?"
"Mine,"
"Am not,"
"Are too,"
"What level are you on then?"
"Yours."
"Then what level am I on,"
"I don't know. What level are you on?"
"You-"
"Stop it," Lina moved awkwardly between the two not sure of how to distribute her weight.
Zel mumbled something about levels once more then moved back to where he had been to start with.
"That's better," she said but couldn't quiet find a way to sit down without putting her weight on only one foot "Um,"
"So what's the test on anyway?" Zel asked after several moments of silence.
"Oh it's only SAT vocabulary and...I think...The Cask of Amantellado but I'm not sure...it...was something by Poe...wait! I should be takeing the test now!" Xelloss turned his head and pressed a finger to his lips from where he lie still watching the janitor.
"Sorry," Zel apologized lieing down himself.
"Oh yeah well you're gonna think sorry when I'm done with you," Lina was the only one still standing. She had yet to find a way to get down.
Xelloss leaned further out over the speaker so that he was directly over the janitor.
Lina caught the move and leaned toward him threateningly "Xelloss don't you dare spit on that poor man's head,"
"Aww," Xelloss sniffed but obediently laid his head on his arms.
Zel shook his head from the corner and closed his eyes. He had been up here for only several minutes with these two and yet he was already contemplating the advantages of suicide. Dear god just let the janitor leave so I can too! Xelloss definatly had to go but...maybe if it was just Lina. He couldn't even name three good things about Xelloss! Let's see. Xelloss was...uh...well...see?! There weren't three things! He could think of three for Lina. She was truthful...maybe a little too truthful...,she kind when she wanted to be, and she was...graceful...
BANG! Lina's undivided weight shift went straight to her ass as she fell backwards, through the tiles, and onto the janitor's head.
Okay maybe she wasn't graceful.
Okaaay that kinda sucked. Well I'll try to have the next chapter up tomorrow. I promise that one will be better. Please tell me what you thought!