Disclaimer: I am not Stephanie Meyer and I do not own Twilight.

This is just a collection of one-shots….crack pairings…weird stuff…review please!

I dedicate this to my gutterminded-bestiebud Trid! LOL! AS IF THE WORLD DEPENDED ON IT! *dies* (it's an insider…yea…)

(Oh yea and according to this one-shot, some of the Cullen's and the pack died in the encounter with the Volturi in Breaking Dawn.)

I touched the hot skin on his muscular, dark skinned arms, and felt my stone-cold fingertips tingle with excitement. His soft chocolate eyes bore into my golden ones, and he smiled softly, his teeth perfect, and white, against his full lips. I leaned in, and barely brushed my lips to his, and pulled away, a smile teasing at the corners of my mouth. "Love you Jacob." I smiled, and wrapped my cold, white arms against his warm, dark neck. We were opposite. Everything in nature said we shouldn't be together.

But we were. I loved him more than anything. After my Emmett died, during a fierce fight with Felix, Jacob avenged his death, killing Felix easily. And later that day, after it was all done and over, we mourned our losses together. Overall, Emmett, Esme, Collin, Paul, and a young werewolf named Brian died in our families. But the Volturi lost Felix, Alec, Jane, Marcus, Reneta, Demetri, and Heidi. They went back defeated, with their confidence shattered, and we went back heartbroken, and victorious. Renesmee was 3 years old now, but the size of a 15 year old. She and the half-vampire, Nahuel, were close. Constantly talking on the phone, and in person, going out on dates, and they would go everywhere together. Nessie loved him. Jacob didn't care. He had me.

I kissed him again, this time giving him a chance to kiss back. As usual, kissing him made my breath catch. His hot mouth on my cold mouth was a weird feeling. It felt like I was kissing an open flame. I was shocked. With Emmett, I never felt so…on fire when I was kissing him. But when I kissed the…dog…well, it was amazing. "Love you Blondie." He muttered, and I made a face. I hated that nickname. He grinned, and swung me up in his arms easily, and started dancing.

"What the hell Jacob?" I laughed, as he twirled me around. "What are we doing?"

"Dancing." He replied, as if it was obvious.

"Put me down!" I moaned, struggling out of his strong grasp. I giggled as he fell to the floor, me on top of him. "Now." I murmured seductively. "Wait here why I change into something more…comfortable." I kissed his collarbone, and then ran to the bathroom at vampire speed, changing into a golden night gown. It had a low cut neck, showing off some chest, with some pretty little designs in sparkles at the bottom corner. I slipped on the matching underwear, and some fishnet's, that went up to my mid thigh. I looked in the mirror, smiling at how beautiful I was. The gown gave me a graceful look, even in stillness. I quickly applied some dramatic eye makeup, and some lipstick, and ruffled up my amazing blonde hair. I was so pretty, it was unfair, I believed. Alice and Bella just couldn't compare to me. Only one person could compare to my beauty, and that was Jacob.

I stepped out, and smiled. He was shirtless, as usual, leaning against the wall in his torn up jeans. I marveled at his tan, muscular chest, and slowly stepped up to him. He really was beautiful, I thought. His eyes were large and dark brown, the color of melted chocolate, and rimmed with long, thick lashes. His face was smooth, his jaw line strong, but not overpowering. His nose was perfectly shaped, with one dark spot on the left side of it. I moved my gaze down to his lips. Full and a shade lighter than his skin. He broke into a smile, showing off his one dimple, and I stepped forward to kiss him again. I never grew tired of kissing him. It just wasn't something you could get used to. His warm mouth kissed mine with a different sort of urgency, as he pulled me softly closer to him. "I like that nightgown." He growled, kissing down my neck.

I chuckled, and kissed him back, loving every moment of my life with Jacob.

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I smiled, watching Jacob sleep. He looked so innocent, despite that what we had just done was so NOT innocent. I chuckled lightly, watching him twitch suddenly in his sleep, obviously dreaming. His lips twitched as well, and he rolled closer to me, and in his sleep, whispered, "Rose…I love…Rose…" His huge arm slung over on top of me, and I smiled, and knew if I was human, tears would be in my eyes.

"I love Jake." I murmured, ever so softly, into his ear. I closed me eyes, and wished I could sleep.

I still missed Emmett. He was so amazing. He could always make me laugh, and he made sure everyone knew I was his. He thought we were meant to be, and I thought so too. He would do anything to make me happy. Getting married every time we went to a new place, letting me drag him to school dances and what not, buying me new cars to work on…

But then he left. And I was so heartbroken with that I almost killed myself. But then Jacob came back. He told me it hurt. He told me I was being immature, and stupid. His exact words were, "You're an idiot." But somehow those words comforted me than all the, "Its gonna be okay" and the "I'm so sorry". He gave me the strength to move on. And when I did, I realized the werewolf I had hated, was so much more amazing than any vampire, human, or creature in the world. I soon grew to love the smell of him, that once made my nose hurt. I didn't care if his specialty was killing vampires, because I knew he would never let anything hurt me. And he was actually quite funny. Every day he would still try a new blonde joke on me, trying to find one I hadn't heard. He ate out of dog bowls mostly, just to make me laugh.

I soon realized we could have forever with each other. Even if forever wasn't long enough to look into his chocolate eyes, I figured it would have to do. I looked down at the ring finger on my left hand, and smiled. There was our engagement ring. It wasn't as expensive as the ring Emmett gave me, but it was the ring that Billy Black gave to Jacob's mother, and the ring that before that, Ephraim Black, gave it to his wife, and so on. It had been in his family for hundreds of years.

The band was thin and white gold, with tiny designs all around it, and tiny diamonds in the designs. The main diamond was medium sized, and held in place with graceful swirls, curves. I loved the ring. And I knew when we got married in May; I would get a matching wedding ring. I kissed his warm cheek softly, and twined my hand with his. In his sleep, his lips parted into a smile, and I sighed happily. My Jacob.

I ran my hand down his warm chest. He was a dog. A werewolf. A freaking animal! But that's what I loved most about him.

After all, he was my animal. My werewolf. My dog.

My Jacob.

This is what the ring looks like:

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Thanks for reading!!!!