Alright, since I have finally finished CrushCrushCrush, I can finally work on a new story. This one will be short (chapter wise) like Can't Stay Away was, so no need to worry. I will be finished with this one in no time and back to writing my other WIP's in no time. I just need to get this one out of my head since it won't leave me and probably wouldn't anytime soon. So, anyways, here's my newest short story. I hope you all enjoy!

Also, I owe such a big thank you to my beta/pre-reader for this story, SparklingFae. You are a freaking lifesaver girl! I truly do mean it.

Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing that has to do with the Twilight Series. I only own the plot.

Chapter song: Who Am I Fooling by Alexz Johnson

Chapter 1

~Bella's POV~

The scene that was playing out before me was like a train wreck. I couldn't look away, it was just that damn bad. It was like when you see a dead animal on the side of the road and you can't help but look at it. You know you shouldn't, but you just can't help it. Yeah, it was one of those scenes.

Jacob had snapped...the man I loved had completely lost it.

This was happening because of me, I had caused all of this. My Jacob was pushed to his breaking point and it was my fault.

"Wait. The man I loved?" I repeated to myself. "Oh, god. What have I done?" My inner ramblings continued in a horrific fashion as the true reality of what my words and actions had caused hit me hard.

Everything was...so real, more real than I knew how to handle.

This was all too much for me. I needed to get as far away from here as possible before I followed suit and lost it as well. I couldn't face the facts. They were to scary, even to have as a fleeting thought. Everything that was going wrong in my life as of late was because of me, which was such a bitter pill to swallow.

I fought to keep my tears from staining my cheeks, long enough to make a run for it and get away from everyone. I didn't want anyone to see me crying, especially not Edward. The last thing I wanted was for him to see me cry and try to comfort me. I didn't deserve comfort, pity or anything of the sort. I deserved to suffer in silence for as long as it took, it was no one's fault but my own.

Not caring who saw, I let go of Edward's arm. I swallowed back a sob as I turned around, running for the house.

I made it inside just as I shook with sobs. I was so disgusted with myself. I ran upstairs, barely able to see as I grabbed my clothes and locked myself in the bathroom. I stood in front of the mirror, staring, my hands bracing myself against the counter. Tears had made tracks down my cheeks, muddying my make up. I had the most cringe worthy look on my face.

How could I have been such a hypocrite for so long? I had told Jacob over and over that I loved him. But his love was just not enough. I had told him so many times that it was and would always be Edward. But now? This revelation had showed me what I was and always had been...a cold-hearted liar. I was so selfish...just like Renée had been at my age. Like mother, like daughter, I guess.

I loved them both...Edward and Jacob. Who falls in love with two people? I had tried so hard to convince myself that my love for Jacob paled beyond comparison with my love for Edward. I had married Edward but now, I was wondering if that was the right decision. I felt dirty with disgust by my greed.

What kind of person does this? Oh, right, a self righteous bitch. I was a horrible person. How could I love two people? I was so angry with myself...I didn't deserve either of them.

I sure as hell didn't believe I should have the happiness that I had. I was unjust in having anything good in my life.

The fates had it wrong, I was only deserving of being alone for the rest of my life. It was the only way that I could keep from hurting anyone else like I had hurt my sun...my Jacob. I resolved that I would suffer in solitude, just where I belonged.

After staring in the mirror for a while, I pushed away from the sink. Heaving a frustrated sigh at my predicament, I changed from the wedding dress into my normal clothing. What possessed me to ever go along with any of this was beyond me. I could only surmise that my fear of change made me allow everyone to walk all over me, doing what they wanted. What about what I wanted? I had allowed this to go on for far too long, this wasn't me...I should have said something sooner.

Although, quite frankly, I didn't even know who I was anymore. Somewhere in this cluster fuck of a mess, I had lost who I was. What was worse, I didn't know how to find me anymore.

Before I had moved to Forks, in Phoenix, I hadn't been popular. I had kept to myself but I had a sense of self worth...I had known who I was.

Somewhere, somehow after I moved here, I met Edward...and I don't know what happened after that. I got caught up in the supernatural world and lost sight of who I was. The person I had been wasn't perfect but it was far better than this shell of my former self.

The old me would have never gotten caught up in this mess. The person I was in Phoenix would have never chosen the guy who broke her heart, she would have realized her true feelings for her best friend. Instead of going along with this charade and becoming such a weak person...a doormat.

Somehow, I had gotten mixed up along the way and chosen the wrong path.

I had made my mistakes and there wasn't anything I could do. I had made my bed and now I must lie in it. I had signed my life away to being a vampire for all eternity. I had traded away my true happiness and with it, Jacob, I couldn't keep him in my life as his immortal enemy. I was left no choice, I resigned myself to the fact that I would become the very thing he had a primal urge to kill. I had given up everything...my family...a man I loved, the harsh reality of it all had finally set in.

"Bella," I heard followed by a knock that caused me to jump.

"Not now," I thought to myself, closing the toilet seat lid and sitting down I placed my head in my hands.

Another knock. "Bella?"

"In a minute," I snapped before I could stop myself.

"For goodness sake, I just want to be left alone right now," I thought to myself.

"Bella, love, please open the door," Edward said, his voice muffled slightly by the door.

"I'll be out in a minute," I said again, lifting my head so that my own voice wasn't muffled this time.

I knew he heard me with his vampire hearing the first time.

I had expected him to knock again, but surprisingly and much appreciated he didn't.

I got up, walked back to the sink and wiped off every bit of makeup. Once that was done, I paced back and forth, trying to get myself together enough so that I could fool anyone that had noticed my absence. There was just one person that I knew I had no hope of fooling...Jasper. He would be able to sense any disturbance in my emotions. I just hoped he wouldn't confront me about them.

Giving myself one more look over, I deemed myself presentable enough to my liking. I drew in one last deep breath and opened the door, forcing myself to face all of this.

Edward looked me up and down once I was in view. "You changed?" he noticed.

I nodded. "Yes," I said dully.

Why?" he asked, a small bit of irritation showing in his features before he hid it behind his frozen mask of a crooked grin.

"We need to leave," I told him, pushing past him and walking down the hallway.

Immediately, I could hear Edward's footsteps behind me. Not a beat was missed, his footsteps echoing behind mine. "We can't leave now. What would we tell all the guests?"

I shrugged my shoulders and kept on walking. "Nothing. We'll just leave without a word."

"Bella, we can't do that. What would everyone think?"

I stopped mid step and quickly turned around. "I don't give a rat's ass what everyone would think!" I exclaimed, finally losing what sanity I had left. "I am sick and tired of living my life based on what others want!"

Edward was speechless and the look on his face matched it.

"What about what I want? What about what I'm going through?!" I asked him. "I just lost my best friend," I whispered, my breath hitched, a knot of emotion caught in my throat. I couldn't stop myself, the tears ran down my cheeks in rivulets as my shoulders shook. I was sobbing so hard that I begin to struggle to breath.

"Bella..." Edward started to say as he reached out to try to comfort me, which was exactly what I didn't want.

I shook my head and turned back around, struggling to get a hold of myself. "Let's just go," I said, wiping at my tear-stained eyes and cheeks.

~EAW~

The ride to the airport was filled with a silence that was bittersweet but more a welcomed relief. It didn't get any better than this, at this point in time. It was fleeting, but this small amount of time that was filled with silence, allowed me to pretend I was alone. I tried to pretend that everything...the heartbreak, the drama and chaos that I left in my wake was no more than my imagination.

The silence allowed my thoughts to drift in my head, hoping for some sort of solution. I replayed everything, every moment that had been in my head since my self revulsion had become clear. Re-thinking over and over only made my loathing worse. There was no way to deny any of it, no matter how much I wished I could. It was on a loop, remembering...wondering what would be different if I had made the right choices, if I had not squandered that chance like I had.

"Did I have no way out, truly?"I asked myself in a silent thought. "Alright, channel your old self, Bella," I coached myself. "What would the old Bella do?"

By time we made it to the airport, I had a plan. I had to be smart about this, I hoped at least one of the pack was still there so Alice's visions were not working. Not that it would matter if she did. On the way out of the house, I had noticed that Edward left his cell phone there. She wouldn't be able to contact him even if she did get a vision. That meant that I had time to go forward with my plan.

After channeling my old self, I had finally come to the conclusion that I couldn't be married to Edward. There was just no way. I refused to be worse of a person than I already was. If I was to stay married to Edward, I would be the worst of the worst kind of people. I couldn't do that, I had to fix this fast.

"Am I even really married yet, though?" I asked myself. "I mean, Mr. Weber is probably still at the reception. I wouldn't think that the marriage would be valid if he doesn't turn in the signed paper stating that we did get married."

The second that stage one of my plan was a success, I would have to get access to a phone to call and find out. The less legal drama I had to deal with, the better. I already had enough drama on my plate to last me a lifetime.

I followed Edward through the airport acting like nothing had changed since earlier.

I waited until Edward was preoccupied with a crossword puzzle.

"If I was to actually stay in this marriage would this have been how eternity would turn out for us?" I asked myself.

I waited with him for our flight to be called, putting my plan into action after a few minutes.

"Hey, Edward, could I have some money to go get something to eat?" I asked him.

Keeping his eyes on the puzzle, he reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, handing it to me.

"That was easier than I thought it would be," I thought to myself, taking the wallet from him.

"Would you like me to come with you, love?" he asked me.

"No, thank you, I'll be fine on my own," I answered giving him a kiss on the cheek and then standing up.

"Hurry back," he said, flashing me his crooked grin before returning to working on the puzzle.

My stomach was twisting into knots as I turned away from him without a word and walked away. I felt a ping of guilt at what I was doing, but I knew that it was for the best. It would be better for both of us if I just walked away instead of staying and continuing to live a lie forever. Neither of us deserved anymore lies than had already been cast.

I paced myself, keeping my breathing level. I didn't dare want to give myself away when I was still not far enough from him to my liking. Once I had allowed myself some distance from him, I quickened my pace, still wary of giving myself away. I relaxed as I fled outside but I wouldn't fully relax until I was miles away from Edward.

It took me no less than a minute to hail a taxi. I didn't want Alice possibly getting a vision of where I was, so I asked the taxi driver to drop me off at the first high-class hotel he saw once we were about 15 miles away from the airport. No one would ever expect me to stay in such an expensive place, so it was the best place I could go. I didn't look at the name of the hotel that I ended up at. What I didn't know, Alice wouldn't be able to know either. I just simply walked inside, booked a room, then went and locked myself in said room.

The first thing I did was run over to the hotel room phone and call Angela. I had to find out from her dad if there was some way I could just erase my mistake from earlier. The sooner I could put my sort of marriage to Edward behind me, the better.

Then, I could focus on somehow trying to mend fences with Jacob. I hoped and prayed to whatever higher power was listening that Jacob would hear me out. Even if he didn't completely forgive me, just listening to me and letting me explain would be enough. Not that I really even deserved that much from him. I wouldn't blame him if he chose to never see me...much less hear my voice so I could explain how I had realized my selfishness.

After all, it would only be the beginning of what I deserved.

Alright, there it is. Chapter 1 of Erase and Rewind. What do you all think so far?

Review, please?!

Next chapter; Seth's POV - Seth overhears Bella's conversation with Mr. Weber and finds out some things. Can he deliver the secret message in time?