Chapter 1
As Monica held the pink newborn in her arms a tear fell down her cheek, a tear of joy, but also of sorrow. Chandler saw the tear and knew what Monica was thinking. Any one of their four friends could list several examples of Monica's selfishness, only Chandler new what a truly selfless person she was.
"She's so beautiful Rach, she looks just like you."
"Thanks Mon."
At the sound of her mother's voice Jordan let out a brief, soft cry. "I think she wants her mommy," Monica cooed as she handed the child back to Rachel.
"Isn't she amazing?" Joey asked as he bent down to kiss mother and child.
"She sure is," Chandler answered as he put his arm around Monica.
Monica was amazed that after being with someone for so long she new the words he wanted to say and all he had to do was put his arm around her. Chandler had made the pain easier for her to handle and she hoped she'd done the same for him.
***
Monica hadn't expected, or even wanted, to get pregnant right after she got married. Marriage came with the promise that it would happen someday, so she no longer felt the need to rush it. In a year they would start trying, right now she wanted to enjoy life with her husband. That's why she wasn't jealous when Rachel got pregnant before she had, even though her friends thought she would be. She knew Rachel and she knew that what Rachel needed now more than ever was the love and support from her friends.
The realization that she was pregnant hit Monica like a ton of bricks. She had been feeling more tired than usual for the last two weeks and then a couple of days ago she started to feel a little nauseous. She had been so busy at work that she just attributed her lethargy to that and hadn't even noticed that she was late, in fact, it was Chandler who noticed.
"Mon?"
"Yes, sweetie?" Monica was standing in front of the fridge, trying to decide whether to make a stir-fry or just warm up last night's casserole.
"I'm not sure how much of my business this is…but…umm…" Chandler was having trouble getting out the words he needed. He was surprised he even noticed, he didn't like thinking about this stuff, much less talking about it, but he thought it might explain why Monica hadn't been herself lately.
His hesitance captured her interest and she stopped what she was doing and walked over to him. "What is it?"
"Ok, I'm just going to come out and say it because I don't think I'll be able to otherwise."
"Chandler, you're making me nervous, is everything alright?"
"Yes, at least I think so. Anyway, well, you see, I kind of noticed that you didn't…get…your…and I wondered if you were ok…and then I thought about how you've been tired a lot lately, and I remembered this woman at my office who was tired all the time and it turned out that it was because she was…"
"…pregnant..."
"Yes, pregnant!…so, are you?"
"…pregnant…I'm pregnant…that's why I've been so tired and nauseous." Monica looked at Chandler; she didn't quite know what to make of the look on his face. She was pregnant, there was no doubt about it, it was the only explanation. She felt happy, relieved, anxious, and worried at the same time. "Are you ready for this?" A question for herself, a question for him, a question she didn't mean to say out loud.
Chandler wasn't sure whether it was a real question or a spoken thought, but he answered anyway. "Yes, I am ready, I mean I month ago I wasn't sure, but then, with the confusion at the wedding I've realized that I'm actually ready and willing…are you ready?" He took her trembling hand and held it in his as he asked the question.
"Ready? Me? Of course I'm ready, I've been waiting for this my whole life." She meant the words but even she wouldn't have believed that tone.
"Are you sure? You look a little pale, sweetie."
"I am sure, I guess it just took me a little by surprise. I mean, I've been preparing for this my whole life, but I didn't expect it now. I've been so busy worrying about work and worrying about Rachel, the thought that I might be pregnant never crossed my mind."
"Aren't you proud of me?" He took her other hand in a playful way.
"Yes, I'm very impressed, you're not scared at all."
"Yeah, yeah, that too, but I figured it out. You just thought you were tired, you didn't even noticed that you missed your p…you know. But I discovered all the clues and solved the mystery."
If she didn't know him better she would have thought he was happier that he figured out she was pregnant rather than the fact that she actually was pregnant. "Yes," she smirked, "you are a regular Sherlock Holmes."
"Elementary, my dear Watson," he said, kissed her with those soft lips she loved so much, and hugged her in that way that let her know that life was wonderful.
1 Chapter 2
Since Monica's pregnancy wasn't a crisis like Rachel's she and Chandler decided to wait until she was three months pregnant to share their good news with their friends.
"So, when are we going to tell everybody," Chandler asked. "And how? Are we going to just tell them or are we going to do something creative. Oh! I know, we can have this theme dinner party and serve baby carrots and petit salmon, and just keep dropping hints throughout the night." He noticed Monica wasn't smiling. "What's wrong, you don't like my idea?"
"No, I love your idea, I'm smiling on the inside, it's just every time I move it makes me feel like I might…" and with that she ran off to the bathroom. Rachel had been lucky; she had not felt sick at all. Monica, on the other hand was not so lucky.
Chandler followed her and held her hair back. When Monica's queasiness had subsided she had a puzzled look on her face. "What is it," Chandler asked.
"You. You can't watch ER without getting sick to your stomach and just the thought of throw up makes you sick. But you were just standing right next to me and holding back my hair."
"Well, to be honest I wasn't looking but, I don't know, I figure babies do a lot of gross stuff that I'm going to have to deal with so I mine as well get used to it."
"In some weird way that is the sweetest thing I've ever heard."
"Well…"
"I'd kiss you if I didn't think it would make me throw up."
"Completely understandable. Why don't we relax and watch some TV, I think When Harry Met Sally is on." That was their favorite movie, the idea of people being friends for years before discovering how perfect they were for each other was an idea near and dear to their hearts.
Chandler had figured the movie would put her to sleep but she was still awake. "A penny for your thoughts."
"Oh, I'm just wondering if I can make it to tomorrow morning without throwing up."
"Well, maybe just half a cent for that one."
"You asked."
"That I did." They sat there for another minute before Chandler spoke again. "So, you still didn't answer my question."
"What question?"
"About how we're going to tell everyone."
"Oh. I don't know. I think we should wait though. It's bad luck to tell people until you're three months along. Besides we haven't had any real secrets from them since they found out about us."
"Yeah, it'll be our little secret. I like that. Will you consider the theme dinner though?"
"Yes, I will consider it, but I'm not going to promise anything else."
"Deal." She turned off the television and they just lay there in each other's arms, motionless until their breathing patterns became identical. "So…dreams do come true."
"I know. I was happy to wait a year before we brought a baby into our lives, but now that we have a little boy or girl on the way, I don't know if I can get through the next eight months, I don't know how I would have managed a year and nine months."
"Patience is a virtue."
"The only virtue I am without."
"That's okay, I still love you."
"My prince."
And in the security of that warm embrace, they fell asleep.
2 Chapter 3
Over the next month Monica and Chandler took great pleasure in their secret. Everyday Chandler would drop hints about his perfect dinner party. His excitement became contagious and Monica finally gave in.
Monica was sitting at the kitchen table, planning the party when things started to go wrong. She felt a sharp shooting pain in her lower abdomen. She tried to convince herself that it was normal, just indigestion, but it didn't work and as waves of pain came and went she hailed a taxi and made her way to the hospital.
The hospital called Chandler to let him know that his wife had been admitted. He didn't hear anything the nurse said but he knew that something was wrong.
When he walked into the room Monica was sitting on the exam table, motionless, staring at the floor. At that moment he knew. Words weren't necessary. Words could explain the medical reasons but not why it had happened. Words could break the silence but they could not make everything okay. He walked over to his wife and held her tighter then he could ever remember holding her. They stayed that way for over an hour, holding each other, crying, wishing it were all just a bad dream.
Monica had only been one week shy of her third month.
***
The next three months were difficult for Monica and Chandler. They watched with forced smiles as Joey and Rachel prepared their apartment for the new baby. Phoebe thought it would be nice if the gang threw Rachel a surprise shower and though Monica helped to plan it her heart was just not in it.
A few weeks before her due date Rachel and Monica were putting the finishing touches on the baby's room when Rachel doubled over in pain.
"Are you okay Rach?"
"I don't know." Rachel tried to stand but couldn't, the pain was too great. "Oh God, Monica something's wrong."
"Don't worry sweetie it's probably just false labor."
"No, I don't think so, it's too sharp and constant. Something's wrong, I can just tell, this isn't right. Monica, I'm scared."
"It's okay Rach, everything's going to be fine. Just sit down, I'll go call the ambulance and…"
"Ambulance? Monica? What's going to happen?"
"I'm sure it's nothing serious but I want to call an ambulance just in case. Just try to stay calm."
"I'll try. Hurry."
Until that moment Monica had not been able to look at Rachel without feeling sad and angry and jealous, but she never wished Rachel harm and seeing how scared Rachel was reminded her that life went on, that there were more important things and that she and Chandler could try again. The experience had made them closer, though it hadn't seemed possible and when their time did come they would appreciate it that much more.
"Chandler Bing here."
"Chandler?"
"Mon? Is everything okay, you sound out of breath?"
"Yes, everything's fine, Rachel's gone into labor, I can't get a hold of Ross or Joey."
"I'll find them."
"Thanks."
"Mon?"
"Yeah?"
"Are you okay?"
"Yes. I am."
"I love you."
"I love you too. I'll see soon. Rachel needs me now."
It took Chandler and hour before he had located both Ross and Joey. He found Joey first and it was all Chandler could do to keep him from racing to the hospital before helping him find Ross.
"Chandler, I can't look for Ross now, Rachel needs me."
"But Ross is the father, don't you think he deserves to be there for the birth of his child."
"I don't know. Maybe. But I love her."
"I know you do Joey, I know this is hard for you, but you know how Rachel feels. Please, just help me find Ross."
"Ok, but only for Rachel."
"Fine." As much as Chandler hated running all over the city searching for Ross and placating Joey it kept him from thinking that it should be Monica having the baby. If his wife were in labor he would be there by her side, not missing in action. Ok, well he was thinking that but not as much as he would have been. He wasn't worried about Monica like he had expected to be. She really had sounded okay on the phone and at this point in their relationship they were incapable of hiding anything from each other. The ringing of a phone finally broke him from his daydream. "Hello?"
"Chandler, it's Monica. Ross is here now but Jordan got her just before he did."
"Jordan?"
"Yep, Jordan Monica Greene. Seven pounds two ounces."
Chandler mentally kicked himself for being so selfish. Everybody's lives, his best friends' lives, had now been changed forever and he was thinking about himself. "How are mother and daughter doing?"
"Everyone's happy and healthy."
"Good. Jordan Monica Greene?"
"Yeah, it's Rachel's way of thanking me for helping her through it."
"Well, she couldn't have picked a better middle name if she tried."
"I know." It was the first joke Monica had made in a long time.
"We'll be right there."
"Well?" Joey wanted to know. There was a touch of fear in his voice. Chandler regretted that he had not really been there for his best friend over the last few months. Joey had fallen hard for Rachel and even though she had been gentle with him he was still aching from the rejection.
"Ross is at the hospital but he didn't make it in time either. Her name's Jordan Monica Greene, she's happy, healthy, and already asking for her Uncle Joey."
"Uncle Joey?"
"Yeah, Uncle Joey."
"Uncle Joey. I guess I can settle for being her favorite uncle."
"I wouldn't dream of contesting your title."
"Good, cause I'd hate for Jordan to lose her second favorite uncle."
"Me too, Joe." Chandler gave his friend a supportive pat on the back and they went to the hospital to meet the newest member of their group.
3 ***
Later that evening Monica and Chandler lay in each other's arms in the darkness and quiet of the evening.
"Big day, huh?" Chandler broke the silence.
"Very big day."
Chandler was studying Monica's hands, he had never noticed how beautiful they were, he had never even considered the fact that hands could be beautiful. By looking at her hands he could see the love, the passion, the tenderness, and the strength that were his other half.
"I always knew babies were miracles, but being there with Rachel today and with everything we've been through the last few months…" her voice trailed off as she fought back tears.
"I know."
"I guess I just always took for granted that I could just get pregnant and that would be it."
"I know. There are only a few things you can count on for the future and when you lose one of them it's scary. But know that you can always count on me, I will always be there for you, like it or not."
"I know and I like it."
"And it will happen. We will have children, even if they don't share our genes, we will have children and we will love them and they will absolutely adore you just as much as I do."
"I know, but I don't want to give up on biology just yet," as she spoke Monica turned around and lightly kissed his chest.
"Why Mrs. Bing, are you trying to seduce me?"
"I just might be."
"Ok, just checking."
"Hey, I hear the balcony is nice this time of year."
"I love you!"
"Just consider it a thank you for being such a wonderful husband."
***
Three months later Monica and Chandler threw a little dinner party.
As Monica held the pink newborn in her arms a tear fell down her cheek, a tear of joy, but also of sorrow. Chandler saw the tear and knew what Monica was thinking. Any one of their four friends could list several examples of Monica's selfishness, only Chandler new what a truly selfless person she was.
"She's so beautiful Rach, she looks just like you."
"Thanks Mon."
At the sound of her mother's voice Jordan let out a brief, soft cry. "I think she wants her mommy," Monica cooed as she handed the child back to Rachel.
"Isn't she amazing?" Joey asked as he bent down to kiss mother and child.
"She sure is," Chandler answered as he put his arm around Monica.
Monica was amazed that after being with someone for so long she new the words he wanted to say and all he had to do was put his arm around her. Chandler had made the pain easier for her to handle and she hoped she'd done the same for him.
***
Monica hadn't expected, or even wanted, to get pregnant right after she got married. Marriage came with the promise that it would happen someday, so she no longer felt the need to rush it. In a year they would start trying, right now she wanted to enjoy life with her husband. That's why she wasn't jealous when Rachel got pregnant before she had, even though her friends thought she would be. She knew Rachel and she knew that what Rachel needed now more than ever was the love and support from her friends.
The realization that she was pregnant hit Monica like a ton of bricks. She had been feeling more tired than usual for the last two weeks and then a couple of days ago she started to feel a little nauseous. She had been so busy at work that she just attributed her lethargy to that and hadn't even noticed that she was late, in fact, it was Chandler who noticed.
"Mon?"
"Yes, sweetie?" Monica was standing in front of the fridge, trying to decide whether to make a stir-fry or just warm up last night's casserole.
"I'm not sure how much of my business this is…but…umm…" Chandler was having trouble getting out the words he needed. He was surprised he even noticed, he didn't like thinking about this stuff, much less talking about it, but he thought it might explain why Monica hadn't been herself lately.
His hesitance captured her interest and she stopped what she was doing and walked over to him. "What is it?"
"Ok, I'm just going to come out and say it because I don't think I'll be able to otherwise."
"Chandler, you're making me nervous, is everything alright?"
"Yes, at least I think so. Anyway, well, you see, I kind of noticed that you didn't…get…your…and I wondered if you were ok…and then I thought about how you've been tired a lot lately, and I remembered this woman at my office who was tired all the time and it turned out that it was because she was…"
"…pregnant..."
"Yes, pregnant!…so, are you?"
"…pregnant…I'm pregnant…that's why I've been so tired and nauseous." Monica looked at Chandler; she didn't quite know what to make of the look on his face. She was pregnant, there was no doubt about it, it was the only explanation. She felt happy, relieved, anxious, and worried at the same time. "Are you ready for this?" A question for herself, a question for him, a question she didn't mean to say out loud.
Chandler wasn't sure whether it was a real question or a spoken thought, but he answered anyway. "Yes, I am ready, I mean I month ago I wasn't sure, but then, with the confusion at the wedding I've realized that I'm actually ready and willing…are you ready?" He took her trembling hand and held it in his as he asked the question.
"Ready? Me? Of course I'm ready, I've been waiting for this my whole life." She meant the words but even she wouldn't have believed that tone.
"Are you sure? You look a little pale, sweetie."
"I am sure, I guess it just took me a little by surprise. I mean, I've been preparing for this my whole life, but I didn't expect it now. I've been so busy worrying about work and worrying about Rachel, the thought that I might be pregnant never crossed my mind."
"Aren't you proud of me?" He took her other hand in a playful way.
"Yes, I'm very impressed, you're not scared at all."
"Yeah, yeah, that too, but I figured it out. You just thought you were tired, you didn't even noticed that you missed your p…you know. But I discovered all the clues and solved the mystery."
If she didn't know him better she would have thought he was happier that he figured out she was pregnant rather than the fact that she actually was pregnant. "Yes," she smirked, "you are a regular Sherlock Holmes."
"Elementary, my dear Watson," he said, kissed her with those soft lips she loved so much, and hugged her in that way that let her know that life was wonderful.
1 Chapter 2
Since Monica's pregnancy wasn't a crisis like Rachel's she and Chandler decided to wait until she was three months pregnant to share their good news with their friends.
"So, when are we going to tell everybody," Chandler asked. "And how? Are we going to just tell them or are we going to do something creative. Oh! I know, we can have this theme dinner party and serve baby carrots and petit salmon, and just keep dropping hints throughout the night." He noticed Monica wasn't smiling. "What's wrong, you don't like my idea?"
"No, I love your idea, I'm smiling on the inside, it's just every time I move it makes me feel like I might…" and with that she ran off to the bathroom. Rachel had been lucky; she had not felt sick at all. Monica, on the other hand was not so lucky.
Chandler followed her and held her hair back. When Monica's queasiness had subsided she had a puzzled look on her face. "What is it," Chandler asked.
"You. You can't watch ER without getting sick to your stomach and just the thought of throw up makes you sick. But you were just standing right next to me and holding back my hair."
"Well, to be honest I wasn't looking but, I don't know, I figure babies do a lot of gross stuff that I'm going to have to deal with so I mine as well get used to it."
"In some weird way that is the sweetest thing I've ever heard."
"Well…"
"I'd kiss you if I didn't think it would make me throw up."
"Completely understandable. Why don't we relax and watch some TV, I think When Harry Met Sally is on." That was their favorite movie, the idea of people being friends for years before discovering how perfect they were for each other was an idea near and dear to their hearts.
Chandler had figured the movie would put her to sleep but she was still awake. "A penny for your thoughts."
"Oh, I'm just wondering if I can make it to tomorrow morning without throwing up."
"Well, maybe just half a cent for that one."
"You asked."
"That I did." They sat there for another minute before Chandler spoke again. "So, you still didn't answer my question."
"What question?"
"About how we're going to tell everyone."
"Oh. I don't know. I think we should wait though. It's bad luck to tell people until you're three months along. Besides we haven't had any real secrets from them since they found out about us."
"Yeah, it'll be our little secret. I like that. Will you consider the theme dinner though?"
"Yes, I will consider it, but I'm not going to promise anything else."
"Deal." She turned off the television and they just lay there in each other's arms, motionless until their breathing patterns became identical. "So…dreams do come true."
"I know. I was happy to wait a year before we brought a baby into our lives, but now that we have a little boy or girl on the way, I don't know if I can get through the next eight months, I don't know how I would have managed a year and nine months."
"Patience is a virtue."
"The only virtue I am without."
"That's okay, I still love you."
"My prince."
And in the security of that warm embrace, they fell asleep.
2 Chapter 3
Over the next month Monica and Chandler took great pleasure in their secret. Everyday Chandler would drop hints about his perfect dinner party. His excitement became contagious and Monica finally gave in.
Monica was sitting at the kitchen table, planning the party when things started to go wrong. She felt a sharp shooting pain in her lower abdomen. She tried to convince herself that it was normal, just indigestion, but it didn't work and as waves of pain came and went she hailed a taxi and made her way to the hospital.
The hospital called Chandler to let him know that his wife had been admitted. He didn't hear anything the nurse said but he knew that something was wrong.
When he walked into the room Monica was sitting on the exam table, motionless, staring at the floor. At that moment he knew. Words weren't necessary. Words could explain the medical reasons but not why it had happened. Words could break the silence but they could not make everything okay. He walked over to his wife and held her tighter then he could ever remember holding her. They stayed that way for over an hour, holding each other, crying, wishing it were all just a bad dream.
Monica had only been one week shy of her third month.
***
The next three months were difficult for Monica and Chandler. They watched with forced smiles as Joey and Rachel prepared their apartment for the new baby. Phoebe thought it would be nice if the gang threw Rachel a surprise shower and though Monica helped to plan it her heart was just not in it.
A few weeks before her due date Rachel and Monica were putting the finishing touches on the baby's room when Rachel doubled over in pain.
"Are you okay Rach?"
"I don't know." Rachel tried to stand but couldn't, the pain was too great. "Oh God, Monica something's wrong."
"Don't worry sweetie it's probably just false labor."
"No, I don't think so, it's too sharp and constant. Something's wrong, I can just tell, this isn't right. Monica, I'm scared."
"It's okay Rach, everything's going to be fine. Just sit down, I'll go call the ambulance and…"
"Ambulance? Monica? What's going to happen?"
"I'm sure it's nothing serious but I want to call an ambulance just in case. Just try to stay calm."
"I'll try. Hurry."
Until that moment Monica had not been able to look at Rachel without feeling sad and angry and jealous, but she never wished Rachel harm and seeing how scared Rachel was reminded her that life went on, that there were more important things and that she and Chandler could try again. The experience had made them closer, though it hadn't seemed possible and when their time did come they would appreciate it that much more.
"Chandler Bing here."
"Chandler?"
"Mon? Is everything okay, you sound out of breath?"
"Yes, everything's fine, Rachel's gone into labor, I can't get a hold of Ross or Joey."
"I'll find them."
"Thanks."
"Mon?"
"Yeah?"
"Are you okay?"
"Yes. I am."
"I love you."
"I love you too. I'll see soon. Rachel needs me now."
It took Chandler and hour before he had located both Ross and Joey. He found Joey first and it was all Chandler could do to keep him from racing to the hospital before helping him find Ross.
"Chandler, I can't look for Ross now, Rachel needs me."
"But Ross is the father, don't you think he deserves to be there for the birth of his child."
"I don't know. Maybe. But I love her."
"I know you do Joey, I know this is hard for you, but you know how Rachel feels. Please, just help me find Ross."
"Ok, but only for Rachel."
"Fine." As much as Chandler hated running all over the city searching for Ross and placating Joey it kept him from thinking that it should be Monica having the baby. If his wife were in labor he would be there by her side, not missing in action. Ok, well he was thinking that but not as much as he would have been. He wasn't worried about Monica like he had expected to be. She really had sounded okay on the phone and at this point in their relationship they were incapable of hiding anything from each other. The ringing of a phone finally broke him from his daydream. "Hello?"
"Chandler, it's Monica. Ross is here now but Jordan got her just before he did."
"Jordan?"
"Yep, Jordan Monica Greene. Seven pounds two ounces."
Chandler mentally kicked himself for being so selfish. Everybody's lives, his best friends' lives, had now been changed forever and he was thinking about himself. "How are mother and daughter doing?"
"Everyone's happy and healthy."
"Good. Jordan Monica Greene?"
"Yeah, it's Rachel's way of thanking me for helping her through it."
"Well, she couldn't have picked a better middle name if she tried."
"I know." It was the first joke Monica had made in a long time.
"We'll be right there."
"Well?" Joey wanted to know. There was a touch of fear in his voice. Chandler regretted that he had not really been there for his best friend over the last few months. Joey had fallen hard for Rachel and even though she had been gentle with him he was still aching from the rejection.
"Ross is at the hospital but he didn't make it in time either. Her name's Jordan Monica Greene, she's happy, healthy, and already asking for her Uncle Joey."
"Uncle Joey?"
"Yeah, Uncle Joey."
"Uncle Joey. I guess I can settle for being her favorite uncle."
"I wouldn't dream of contesting your title."
"Good, cause I'd hate for Jordan to lose her second favorite uncle."
"Me too, Joe." Chandler gave his friend a supportive pat on the back and they went to the hospital to meet the newest member of their group.
3 ***
Later that evening Monica and Chandler lay in each other's arms in the darkness and quiet of the evening.
"Big day, huh?" Chandler broke the silence.
"Very big day."
Chandler was studying Monica's hands, he had never noticed how beautiful they were, he had never even considered the fact that hands could be beautiful. By looking at her hands he could see the love, the passion, the tenderness, and the strength that were his other half.
"I always knew babies were miracles, but being there with Rachel today and with everything we've been through the last few months…" her voice trailed off as she fought back tears.
"I know."
"I guess I just always took for granted that I could just get pregnant and that would be it."
"I know. There are only a few things you can count on for the future and when you lose one of them it's scary. But know that you can always count on me, I will always be there for you, like it or not."
"I know and I like it."
"And it will happen. We will have children, even if they don't share our genes, we will have children and we will love them and they will absolutely adore you just as much as I do."
"I know, but I don't want to give up on biology just yet," as she spoke Monica turned around and lightly kissed his chest.
"Why Mrs. Bing, are you trying to seduce me?"
"I just might be."
"Ok, just checking."
"Hey, I hear the balcony is nice this time of year."
"I love you!"
"Just consider it a thank you for being such a wonderful husband."
***
Three months later Monica and Chandler threw a little dinner party.