"Suspended in Air"
Inspired by Ellen Hopkins; author of Crank
Prologue:
Someone once told me; 'Don't tell people how to live. Tell them stories and they'll figure out how the story applies to them.'
Funny, such deep words but I can't remember who spoke them for the life of me. I guess that's one of life's many ironies. But, I do have to thank whoever spoke these words of wisdom. It has given me the courage to dive head-first into the unknown and blindly grope into my dark, murky past that, with much effort, I had muddled and weakened since I couldn't quite forget it completely. Enough of that, I say. It's time to open and reveal the skeletons in my closet, sweep out the mess, and hang it up the dirty laundry to dry. Although it feels like I'm stripping myself of my high walls and thick armor, I know I must do this. I must prove myself even if that means standing bare to the world.
For her.
All of this is for her. After this, I can finally be able to stand beside her, my back straight and head held high. I can finally be worthy.
Of course, she disapproves of this. She tells me it doesn't matter, that she has accepted me; all of me. The scars, the hurt, the regrets; all of it. But I'm not just doing this for her. This is for me also. I want to be able to be someone that she can be proud of; someone who can truly be called her 'love'.
So, I guess this is it. I'm finally going to peel back the skin, split my ribs, and show anyone that is willing to listen, the story buried deep within my bleeding heart.
My Story.
You know how you stand in line for the most incredible roller coaster you've ever dared to attempt? Anticipation swelling, minute by minute you choose to wait even longer, to ride in the front—the best seat possible. Then, finally it's your turn. They buckle you in, lock the safety bar, hook engaged, the chain jerks you forward and you start to climb. Butterflies swell in your stomach and crash around, pushing up your throat in a vain attempt to escape.
Suddenly, you're cresting the top as time moves slowly as you wait for that scant hesitation just before you drop and you know that there is no turning back. You know how you feel at that instant? Well, that's exactly how it feels when your bowling and snorting line after line of the white substance called meth. It's a bitch on the body, but damn do you fly and as the burn rides through your veins, pulsing, rushing, raging torrents pounding against your heart, you are swept away by the current.
Then you feel
Like
Your
Falling.
And you can't help but wish you never hit the ground.
As usual, let me know what you think. 'To continue or not to continue?' That is the question.
-BlueIV