Hey all. This is my first fic ever. So please, no flames. Just review. Constructive criticism, mind you. Anyway, this story will get so much better. I promise.
Happy reading!
Ellie
I don't remember much about the before. I know there was a feeling, a certain security. I think it was something like happiness, but I cannot be sure. All I know is any and all feelings are bad. And just masking them is not effective. Quite the opposite, in fact. Covering them up just allows them to fester, and grow. No, you must shove and compress the feelings until they resemble nothing of what they were. And even this is not enough.
You must feel the deepest pain. A soul-splitting, torturous pain. Then you know what these feelings will cost you.
Then, you can suffocate them, with all you have left. You cannot, must not, feel. Never a twang of sorrow, nor a drop of anger.
Love. Anger. Fear. Sorrow. Guilt. Pain. Sympathy. Respect. Remorse.
All of these are weaknesses, and must be punished as such.
This is what the whitecoats have taught me.
Without any contradictions to their statements, this I take to be true.
I am Experiment 29.
I do not feel.
I do not hope.
In a whitewashed world of white lab coats and an antiseptic stench, I am alone.