A WACK UPSIDE THE HEAD
Or
Another story in the flexible genre of head trauma being a transport to a fictional world with royal, barely-legal eye candy. (Mmm… barely-legal eye candy….)
Warnings, Notices, Etc.: This fic is in no way 'TENS' compliant. I do not own Kuzco or any of his co-stars, the nice people at Disney do. I also vaguely mention Inuyasha and Ranma ½ both of which are owned by the blazingly genius of Rumiko Takahashi. I can only hope the rightful owners can forgive me for what I'm about to do to their characters. /-grin-/
'Evie' belongs to me, but I'm willing to sell her for $1.50 and some leftover Halloween candy. You'll see why the further you read.
The rainy season had turned out to be a hard one this year. It had rained without stop during the day, and at night, thunderstorms ripped across the kingdom. Emperor Kuzco was sure he wasn't the only one awake.
He stood at the window of the Imperial bedroom looking at the spectacular light show. He scratched at his tired body through his red PJ's. He held a worn-out Wampy doll, his favorite since childhood, by one arm as he leaned against the royal windowsill. He blinked up at the illuminated sky, as he scratched his crownless head.
"Frickin angry sky god," he muttered through a yawn. "Keep it down, will ya?"
Kuzco knew shouldn't be wasting time staring out the window. He was supposed to be getting rest so he could choose the new advisor in the morning.
He should be grateful that he was getting a new advisor at all. After all that had happened with Yzma and that whole mess, he had done some major personnel housecleaning in the palace, with Pacha's help. Things were starting to get better for all his subjects, but it would be years before he made a dent in the serious damage his ego had caused. He certainly wasn't going to be having any real fun for quite some time.
He didn't mind the hard work; he figured he had earned the aggravation. But he didn't want to just settle down into the good, kind and wise monarch role overnight. He was still young, and there were days when all he wanted to do was kick back and act like he had before the whole 'llama' incident.
"I don't wanna be a jerk again…" he muttered, "But I… I just wish something interesting would happen."
It was then, suddenly and without warning, a huge bolt of lighting dove down the wall of the palace, just inches from his face. He leapt back, grabbing his Wampy on impulse.
He looked around the room, puppy-eyed and nervous. "I… I didn't mean it! Don't kill me!"
Nothing answered back, which he took as a good sign.
Hair still standing on end from the charged residue of the bolt, he cautiously inched back to the window sill, to see if the lighting had stuck anything, or anyone, important. But when he finally peeked out the window, he was shocked to see the bolt hadn't struck at all.
It was quickly traveling along the ground, speeding through the streets like an six-legged animal. He saw wind its way out of the Imperial city, then cross the bridge just beyond it before the bolt ducked behind a hill. Leaning dangerously out the window Kuzco squinted at the bridge fearing it had been destroyed twice in the last 6 months. No. It was fine. Puzzled he stepped back into the room and tucked his toy under his arm, and just stared out where the thing had disappeared.
Everything was… back to normal. Nothing had changed. It was probably the same as it had been this afternoon, just darker. His eyes must be going bad.
And then a thunderclap so loud the stone brick of the castle vibrated dangerously under Kuzco's feet sounded in the distance. As it rumbled on, getting louder and louder, a blast of purple light, more intense than the sun broke from behind the hill and rushed towards the city. Kuzco turned to run, but he ended up tripping over his own feet. Clawing at the floor, he found all her could do was throw an arm over his eyes to try and protect himself from…
MEANWHILE, 5 MINUTES EARLIER ON ANOTHER PLANE OF EXISTANCE…
"This is it. Last box." The packing tape screeched as it was yanked out of the dispenser.
Evie ran a hand through her painfully short, violently red hair and looked the room over. She knew she was forgetting something. She had forgotten to pay the last water bill or remind the electric company that she wasn't going to be there next month. Something.
She was starting to realize how much she was going to miss this place. Her first real apartment. It sucked that she had to leave, but what else could she do? It wasn't like she could afford this place on her own. That bastard ex of hers. She would have killed him, if he hadn't already fled the state.
Taping the last box shut, she went to put it on the stack.
But she abruptly realized on her own two feet anymore, the box had been holding was skittering into the wall and her nose was digging into the dirty carpet.
"What the…?" she looked back at the extension chord that had tripped her and was getting friendly with her ankle.
"Hnn…" she said in frustration. She tried to shake her foot free, but that somehow got the chord more entangled around her foot. She sat up and tried to untie the knot, but ended up making it tighter.
"God Dammit!" Evie kicked her leg hard. The tension on the chord abruptly dropped there was a jangling of pots and pans above her.
Evie looked up just in time to see a large box marked "Heavy Cookware" headed for her face like a bullet.