Rolling onto her side, she stared over at him with her mind racing. With the cold wind blowing, she wrapped the blanket tightly around her as she sat up and looked around them. They were alone, she thought as her body ached for his. They had left Zedd and Cara almost a day ago and their time alone had only made her want for him grow stronger. there was no one around them to stop them if they were to- No. She stopped herself from imagining it. Thoughts of being with him were not allowed.
Still, she reasoned with herself, laying close to him would not be wrong. It was cold and she was sure that it would warm them both. She moved carefully, slowly inching over to him as his teeth chattered together. Richard had insisted that she used the blanket, not wanting her to freeze as she slept. The fire that he had started before appeared to have been dying for hours ago and she wondered how he had been able to sleep through the cold. His arms had encircled around himself, trying to keep warm in the only way he could. Without realizing, she moved closer to him, her body moving without thought and hesitation.
Gently, she pulled his arm from his chest, replacing it with her head as her body was pressed against his. The warmth almost instantly flooded through her as she closed her eyes. Within moments, she felt him stir, wrapping his arm around her and pulling her close. His heart pounded beneath her head, making hers race as well. She wanted to say something, but couldn't find the words. Sitting up on her elbow, she looked down at him, the soft light from the fire giving his face a light glow.
"I didn't mean to wake you." she whispered, afraid that anything louder would echo through the cave.
"I know. I just- I didn't know if you were alright." he replied just as softly as her.
"It's cold."
"I'll find some more wood." He sat up, pushing her away from him as he looked around.
Kahlan nodded slowly, looking down to the dirt beneath her. "You don't have to. We could just-" her heart pounded in her ears, at the words she couldn't say. Staring at her, he took in a slow deep breath, trying to think of what to say. "Never mind," she whispered looking up to him. "It's a bad idea."
"Kahlan, I- It's not. I just- I didn't think that you-" he struggled for the words, his hands reaching up to his hair as he tried to speak. "I didn't think that you wanted-" He released a sigh, frustrated with his own lack of words.
"I'll always want to." She admitted softly, looking away from him for a moment before meeting his eyes. "I'll find the wood." she said after a few moments, "You should sleep."
"Kahlan, don't." he whispered as he reached forward, grabbing her arm and holding her still. She looked at him, her eyes filled with a pain that he knew all to well. The pain he felt every moment of the day.
Without thinking, he pulled her to him and kissed her. He kissed her as he had before, as he wanted to for the rest of his life. She allowed him to wrap his arms around her, holding her to him as she brought her hands up to his face, gently caressing his cheeks. Her magic flooded to the surface, threatening to break through and claim him. She pulled back, breathing heavily as she turned her face away from him, not wanting him to see her darkened eyes. Her eyes filled with the magic that would destroy him.
"Kahlan," he whispered her name in a way that made it impossible for her not to look at him. His eyes locked on hers, seeing the passion that filled them, bringing a soft smile to his lips. "Come here." She shook her head instantly, not wanting it to go any farther. She wasn't strong enough. "It's alright. You're not going to hurt me. Trust me."
"I almost did." she breathed out in shame.
"You didn't." he said as he moved closer to her. Slowly, he reached out, brushing the hair from her face as his eyes took in her beauty. "You would never hurt me."
Instantly, she pushed him away, almost sending him falling on his back as she moved away, pressing her back against the other side of the cave wall, across from him. "I wanted to." Her eyes closed with her words, "I wanted- want to. I've never wanted anything like this before. Richard, I almost- and part of me didn't care." she pulled her knees up to her chest as she spoke, using them as a barrier between them.
He fought the urge to move to her, knowing that it could send her running away from him and he couldn't bare it. "It's alright."
"How can you say that?" She asked as she opened her eyes. "It's your life that I would destroy. You would be lost!"
"I wouldn't mind. Kahlan, to be lost to you- to be able to show you how much I love you and to just hold you- Kahlan, I would gladly give that to you. I would give it to you right now without hesitation. I would do anything for you. Anything at all and your magic couldn't change that and if it could help me love you more than I already do, then I welcome it. I want nothing more than to love you with everything that I have." He could see the tears streaming down her face, glowing softly from the last of the firelight. "I love you, Kahlan."
It was then that she noticed that he had moved closer to her, unable to keep away any longer. There was still more than a few feet separating them, but he was closer and she could feel his warmth. "I- I wish that you didn't." she closed her eyes, needing to keep herself from looking into his loving eyes.
"But I do. I love you and you love me. We're going to find a way to be together. We're going to have a family and grow old together."
"I wish so much that it was possible." she cried softly as he kneeled before her, resting his hands on her knees.
Lightly, he pushed on her knees, spreading them apart as he leaned forward to her, his face inches from hers. "It is. Trust me." To keep her from responding, he pressed his lips against her, kissing her quickly.
Her mind grew quiet as she pulled him to her, entangling her fingers in his soft hair. Gently, he moved her towards him, lowering her to the ground as he laid over her, his hands smoothly running over her. Gripping onto his shirt, she filled her fists with the barrier, pulling him closer to her as her body arched up into his. Moving his lips over her jaw, he slid his tongue out, tasting the skin. He could live forever off of the taste. The soft moan flowing from her lips drove him onward.
Kissing over her chest, he silently cursed the spirits for the corset covering the rest of her skin. When her hands grabbed his hair, he was afraid for a moment that she would pull him from her, but to his delight, she didn't. The feel of his lips, tongue and warm breath on her skin set her on fire. He parted from her for a brief second as she pulled his shirt from his body and tossed it away, not caring where it landed. He took the strings of her corset in his hands and pulled quickly, desperately needing her flesh against his.
Turning them, she sat over him, her hair cascading down around her face and shoulders as she lowered her mouth to his as he continued to work on her corset. He moved slower now that he was unable to see what he was doing and finding his fingers tangled in the laces. When he felt it loosen and fall from her, he rolled them back over, taking the clothing from her before her back hit the ground beneath him. Pausing for a moment, he looked at her, his heart pounding with her beauty, the perfection of the woman he loved.
Slowly, Richard slid his hand over her, watching as her eyes closed and her lips parted helping her to breathe. A light gasp escaped her lips as his mouth connected with her stomach, placing kisses everywhere he could. Grabbing his head, Kahlan pulled him back up, meeting his mouth with hers as her fingers frantically moved over his back, shoulders and part of his chest. His own hands continuing the exploration of her body, gently grabbing one of her legs and pulling it upward, allowing his hand to slide down, pushing up her skirt.
Reaching between them, she grabbed the stings of his pants and began pulling them loose within seconds. A soft growl flowed from his throat as she pushed the pants from his hips, her hands then moving over him as her legs continued to pull the fabric from his body. Not wasting a moment, he pulled at her skirt as his lips moved back over her, slowly trailing down her chest, stomach and continuing as her hands found his head and pushed him closer to her.
The sound of his name flowing from her lips echoed through the cave, lingering around them as his lips continued their journey south. He looked up for a moment, keeping his lips on her skin as he watched her arch her back and buck her hips up into him as she panted. Going slowly, he kissed his way back to her lips, his body grazing over hers, mixing their sweat. With her legs wrapped around his, she pulled him to her, using every amount of strength she could to keep from unleashing her magic into him.
When he reached between them, she squeezed her eyes shut, finding it more difficult to hold back what came so natural to her. "Richard," she panted, her chest heaving against his as he sucked on small sections of her neck. He looked up instantly, afraid that he had somehow hurt her. The darkness had overtaken her eyes, there was not a single speckle of the white or blue that he loved so much and he knew then that it was a warning. She would not be able to hold back for very much longer.
"Trust me," he whispered into her ear, "We're going to have a family." Moving quickly, he placed himself at her entrance and pushed in slowly, his eyes locked on hers until she was unable to keep them open as her head fell backwards and her body begged for more. Softly, he pressed his lips to the hallow point of her neck, lightly kissing her as he marveled at how perfectly their bodies fit together.
He could see the concentration on her face, the force she was using to keep from destroying him. Her eyes opened as he whispered her name and his love for her. He grabbed her, trying to pull her body even closer than it already was. His words were lost as his breaths turned to grunts as he found himself falling over the edge.
He knew she wouldn't fall with him and the way she was biting her lip, drawing blood, he knew that she was seconds away. Two more thrusts, and he buried himself in her, laying his forehead in the crook of her shoulder for a moment as he emptied himself within her, hoping that it would create a child. With his heart pounding he rolled off of her just as a soft cry escaped her lips and her body arched upward off the ground releasing her magic, sending it into the air around them. It was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.
The moment her body hit the ground, he pulled her to him, rolling her onto her side so that she could lay comfortably in his arms. He felt her heart pounding with a heavy force, beating in time with his. "What's wrong?" he asked suddenly concerned as he felt her tears against his chest.
"Nothing, I just can't believe we just did that." she whispered, her mind racing as her body remembered what it felt like to be with him. Closing her eyes, she shook her head against his chest. "We just- and you're-"
"Still me." He moved slowly, rolling her onto her back so that he could look at her. "I'm still me and I still love you." His fingers ran smoothing through her hair before his hand made its way down over her, coming to a stop in the center of her stomach. "I'm still here with you."
"You are." she strained her neck, looking into his eyes as they roamed over her body and came to rest on hers. "You're you because you let go of me."
"I only let go because you would have killed yourself holding it in and I wasn't going to risk your life." Moving slowly, he trailed his fingers over her, watching as her eyes closed and her body begged for his touch. "It was beautiful." he whispered, his eyes on hers, waiting for them to open. "When you released your magic Kahlan, I- it was beautiful."
She opened her eyes and looked at him, "It's dangerous- Richard we shouldn't have done this."
Richard moved quickly, covering her body with his once again as she attempted to sit forward and move away. "Yes we should have. Kahlan, we should have done this a long time ago." his hands moved frantically to her face and through her hair, needing to touch her.
"No." Her voice was so soft, it barely escaped her lips. "We shouldn't have done this."
"Why?"
Tears slowly leaked out of her eyes as she turned her head away from him, unable to meet his loving eyes. "Because we- I could have destroyed you."
"But you didn't." he countered with a frustrated sigh, "Kahlan you could never destroy me, even if you confessed me, nothing would change." Slowly, he leaned down and pressed his lips to the side of her face, letting them linger as she closed her eyes to the soft feeling. "I would still love you with every part of me." He moved his lips up, closer to hers. "I would still want to hold you in my arms every minute of the day for the rest of my life."
Kahlan turned her head back to him, seeing the passion and truth of his words. "You would be gone." Reaching up, she laid her hand against his cheek, "I can't lose you."
"You'll never lose me."
"I almost did. Richard, I didn't want you to let go. I wanted so much to-"
"I know." he whispered, wiping the tears from her eyes. "I didn't want to let go of you either. Kahlan, I wanted so badly to be with you- to hold you as we-"
She leaned up, capturing his lips in hers as she pulled him to her, unable to deny her body what it wanted. He pressed himself to her as she wrapped her arms around him, flipping them over and running her hands over his chest with her heart pounding as he released a soft moan. Pressing her lips to his throat, Kahlan pulled lightly at his waist, trying to get him even closer to her. Complying, Richard sat forward, tightening his arms around her, flattening her breasts against his chest as he kissed her.
Soft moans escaped her as she pushed back the thoughts of losing him back in her mind as they continued to flood her. Her magic threatened to break free, threatened to destroy him, but she couldn't let him go. She needed him. She wanted him.
Rubbing herself against him, she lost herself in the feelings and emotions that filled her. Never before had she ever experienced anything like this, like him. He loved her, in spite of her magic, he loved her. Kahlan's eyes few open as his mouth covered her chest, his hands firmly holding her back, pushing her to him.
Her body jerked backwards, her hands slapping onto his chest, sending him down to the ground before she crawled off and away, covering herself the best she could with her arms. "No."
He didn't move for a moment, his body, mind and heart trying to process the sudden loss of her warmth. "Alright." He whispered as he sat forward "I'm sorry. I don't want to upset you."
"You didn't. I- I almost-" forgetting that she was naked, she reached up and covered her eyes, wiping the tears and hiding the darkness that once again consumed them, slightly surprising her that it had risen so quickly. "I'm sorry."
Standing, he walked over to her, picking up her clothes as he came closer. "You shouldn't be sorry. I'm not."
Her face reddened as she looked up, realizing he stood before her naked. "I don't understand how you can't be."
Kneeling, Richard grabbed her shoulders, turning her body to face him. "I'm not sorry for loving you, for wanting to be with you- for wanting you to touch me with your power. I'm not sorry for anything with you because my heart can't hold onto anything but the love for you. It consumes me. It thrives me. I am not sorry."
"I love you." she whispered, pushing her clothes from her lap and moving closer to him, wrapping her arms around him as he laid back.
"I love you too."
"We can never tell Zedd."
He smiled at her soft words, knowing that of his grandfather knew what they had done, he would never be left alone with her again. "We won't tell Zedd." Tightening his arms around her, he rubbed his hand over her, using the heat to warm her. "Unless," he added after a few moments, his smile growing wide over his face. "we just started our family."
He could feel her smile against his chest as she tightened her arm around him. "Only if we- Do you think that we could have?"
"I hope we did."
"Me too."
END