After the civil war, everyone was finally back together. Tony had insisted that they have a HUGE party in honor of the Avengers being officially reassembled. There was a lot of alcohol and Bucky felt out of place and awkward. Steve followed him around almost like a huge puppy, determined to never let him out his sight again. He was a little strange that way.

Natasha, who was in charge of serving the drinks, asked him if he wanted one almost desperately as if that could make everything better between them. At least she was trying. Tony was still pointedly ignoring him. It wasn't like Howard and Maria's death was his fault. He had been brain-washed and had lost the ability to know right from wrong at the time.

*But you still did it,* that little voice in his head whispered venomously. *You're a monster, a murderer, and you don't belong here. You don't deserve Steve. It would be better if you were dead.*

Bucky's subconscious really needed to shut up. He knew just the thing.

Walking up to Natasha, he put on his best devil-may-care smirk, and said only, "Hi." Wow, he needed to get better at this. Not exactly Shakespeare.

"Want a drink?"

*Duh, Captain Obvious.*

"Yeah, and I wanna get drunk. Seriously. Maybe then being with you guys here won't be so awkward. Or at least I'll be too out of it to care."

"OK, I can do that," she grinned mischievously.

Many drinks later, he had no control over what he said and to who.

He looked around for Steve and found him talking about a Hawaiian vacation.

"I'm just so exhausted. I need a break," Steve admitted tiredly to Sam. "I need to go have fun and act like a kid again. Hot tubs, throwing darts at a board, playing Operation all day, and running away from a hose like when I was little."

Bucky hiccuped and declared loudly, "We used to do that too at HYDRA! Not so much fun though. I even got to be the dartboard and even the Operation guy! Although, they were pretty bad at it, they kept playing it wrong!"

Steve looked at him weirdly *Why was he looking at him like that* and then sighed patiently.

"OK, Buck. Let's go to bed before you say something you'll regret."