'Oh please stop!'
Joey jolted awake and staring at her wall opposite her bed. She was sitting upright and panting wildly at the nightmare she had just experienced. It was a recurring one that broke her heart slowly and painfully more and more each day. Ever since she left the bay she had a giant knot in her heart. For a long time she thought it was the pain from being hurt and feeling useless and not good enough for the woman she loved so dearly and deeply. The woman that she had entrusted herself for the first time had left herself open to see her heart torn apart for the whole of the bay to see and know about. It had been hard enough with the issues of dealing with Robbo and trusting others especially after how her own brother had treated her after he found out about her sexuality. Though for Charlie she would have given up the world to be with her. The little that she had to forsake and held dear she would have sacrificed, even working on the boats.
Joey clambered out of bed and made her way over to the small sink at the window and washed her face and neck with the cold water. As it soothed her skin more thoughts flooded her mind of how even a simple look from Charlie could send her heart a flutter. The smell of her perfume made her made her nearly collapse with the need to taste her. The smell was so intense and amazing that for some reason she couldn't help herself but feel the desperate need to touch some part of her or at least have contact with her.
Those eyes seemed to be staring back at her from the mirror, and now with the image of Charlie in her mind she could feel water droplets fall down her face and couldn't tell if they were tears or not. The neon lights outside the window beside her flashed and buzzed annoyingly.
'I can't escape her! God Charlie why did you do this to me?'
The next morning Joey headed down to her appointment. She was sitting down in an office filled with certificates and diploma's that unnerved her deeply. She had been seeing the same psychologist for the past four months. For the first two she cried heading the night before, walking there, during and after the session. She knew she had made progress but she had still not been able to shift her visions of Charlie, good or bad. This troubled her.
'So Joey what Charlie appeared to you last night then?'
The young attractive man sat there listening intently as Joey stared out of the window thinking of the woman she loved so much.
'Why can't I hate her? Why can't I say no or stop her invading my mind?' She asked exasperatedly.
He sat forward and put his pad and pen down on the table in front of him.
'What do you think that you really need in order to let go, move on or…'
'Her!' The word was out before she could think.
Joey double blinked and looked over at him. His face had fallen and his eyes and his mouth were slightly open. When his thoughts returned to him he sat back and placed his fingertips together and drummed them together.
'Well I think no matter what, you should try to make contact with her and find out what you need to know to do get on without the torture you put yourself through!'
'What? Really?' Joey's voice broke at the thought.
She stood up and paced and turned back to him and continued to pace again.
'And what do I say to her when I see her? Hey Charlie don't know if you remember me but we were in love and you broke my heart and I know you haven't thought twice about me since I left after you cheated on me but hey what do you think about talking about my feelings that I still harbor for you?' Joey finally took a breath.
'Well I wouldn't exactly take that angle but…'
Joey moved to the door.
'I don't know that I could even say anything in front of her without crumbling and making a fool out of myself.
Joey left and ran to the harbor that she had not been near since docking after leaving summer bay. She looked across the water as the sun reflected off the water and wondered what Charlie was doing. If she had ever thought about her since she left.