NOTE: I've rewritten this (and the next chapter also), only changing the fact that Sasori isn't going to be a child because I've already written a fic with him as a kid, and I feel like I'm repeating myself x) It won't change the plot much, he's just going to have to suffer with Itachi and Kisame.
The mission should have been an easy one, at least that's what Itachi thinks. The whole Akatsuki, save Pein, Konan and Zetsu, had been sent out to take over a small village. One of their clients had paid them an unusually large sum of money, and had promised to spread the word about the Akatsuki's work to other possible clienteles. The mission, despite all its initial flaws, had been going well. Until Hidan had fucked everything up.
They'd had a decent plan: Itachi and Kisame would sneak into the village and do some silent assassination on its few shinobi; Deidara and Sasori, when given the word, would attack the village as a whole, Deidara with his clay bombs dropping in previously decided areas, and Sasori with his 100 puppet technique. Kakuzu and Hidan would remain along the outskirts of town, taking down anyone trying to escape and call for backup. That's where Hidan had ruined everything.
Angry that he wasn't getting enough action (and sacrifices), seeing as everyone else was doing a good job of not letting the villagers get too far, the silver-haired nin had run straight into the village, despite Kakuzu's yelling to stay put.
Too busy reveling at the thought of all the sacrifices he'd be able to give his dear lord Jashin, Hidan hadn't noticed Sasori nearing ahead of him, and had knocked into the puppet. This, in turn, caused Sasori to have a slip of the hand, and as the two members tried to detangle themselves from one another, they watched as one of Sasori's flying puppets crashed right into Deidara's giant bird. The blond hadn't known what hit him, and together he and his bird plummeted to the ground, crash-landing right on top of Hidan and Sasori.
Itachi watched this all happen with a sigh, but he couldn't worry about it for long, as a group of shinobi were coming straight for him and his partner Kisame. He'd deal with it later.
Meanwhile, Kakuzu jumped down from a tree, landing in front of his three comrades sprawled out on the ground. "Damn it, Hidan, this is why you need to follow our plans!"
The Jashinist groaned, tugging his leg out from underneath the giant bird's wing. "Eh, just shut up, Kakuzu! I told you guys you should've let me go in to be one of the first to take down the shinobi."
"And let you make a big scene?" the miser growled, crossing his arms.
"Deidara, get off of me!" Sasori snapped, taking in the damage. Hiruko was completely destroyed, the shield on top of it and been totally caved in thanks to the weight of Deidara's big ass bird. The blond groaned in pain as he pushed himself up off the puppet master. With a seal, his bird disappeared and he dusted himself off. "Hiruko's completely useless." Sasori almost pouted as he pulled a scroll from his pocket, sealing the container puppet away until he could fix it. "And it's all thanks to you!"
Hidan blinked in surprise as Sasori automatically put him to blame. "Me? The hell did I do? It was Deidara's ugly bird that broke your damn puppet."
Deidara immediately took offense to his art being called ugly, and growled. "It only fell because someone crashed their puppet into it, hm!" He glared at Sasori, who scoffed in return.
"That wasn't my fault, brat! This idiot's the one who couldn't stay where he was told."
"How do you expect me to offer sacrifices to Lord Jashin if I can't even-"
"Enough!" Kakuzu yelled, silencing everyone. "Someone's coming."
The four Akatsuki jumped into defense mode, all staring toward a bush, which had started rustling. "Who's there? Hm!"
To their surprise, a frail old lady stepped out of the bush, waving a cane in front of her. "You trouble-makers! Destroying the village and such!" The members immediately relaxed, seeing no threat from a little old lady.
"Let's just kill her and meet up with Itachi and Kisame," Sasori muttered, bored. "Let's try to finish this mission without any more interruptions." He turned his head to glare at Hidan but was met with the sight of a cane before it was swung into his face. His head bent back and although he didn't feel any pain because well, he couldn't, the fact that the elder had hit him and that Deidara and Hidan were laughing irritated him.
"Such rude youth these days!" the old lady spoke, continuously striking Sasori's legs with her cane and obviously mistaking him for the fifteen year old age he looked. "I think I'll teach you all a lesson!" She paused in her striking to reach into her robes, pulling out a small round object before throwing it on the ground between them and taking off back into the bushes.
Before anyone could react, there was an explosion and pink smoke spread around the area, thoroughly blinding the four S-ranked criminals and trapping them.
Back in the center of the village, Kisame and Itachi had taken down the very last of the village's shinobi, effectively completing their mission. "Let's go see about the others." Itachi jumped down from the rooftop he and Kisame were positioned on, running toward where he had seen Deidara go down.
The two made it to the spot in no time and slowed to a stop. There was a strange smell in the air, and they could see the faint traces of a smoke disappearing into the woods around them. "Deidara?" the Uchiha called out, figuring it was from one of his bombs detonating.
"We have a little problem." Sasori had stepped out from behind a bush after recognizing that it was just Itachi and Kisame standing there and not more shinobi. He'd pulled the bush aside and revealed what exactly the problem was.
It was definitely a little problem.
This should have been such a flawless mission, Itachi thinks again, as he stares at the sleeping mass of children lying in front of him and his partner. A sleeping mass of Akatsuki members turned children. They're hardly recognizable, not looking anything like their older counterparts, but Itachi knows it's them because he can't imagine children with the same hair colors as their comrades would just so happen be taking a nap in the middle of the woods during disaster. Not to mention the fact that the children are bathed in over-sized Akatsuki cloaks.
"This is…bad," Kisame murmurs beside him, poking a toe at the one he knows is Hidan. He turns to Sasori. "What happened?"
The red head scowls before answering. "Some old lady threw some sort of gas at us. They must have breathed it in." Itachi guesses it didn't affect Sasori because he's a puppet.
Hearing yells from the village growing closer, Itachi sighs. "We need to get out of here." He bends down and scoops up Hidan, holding him under his arm and jumping up into a tree, giving a glance at his two other comrades. Sasori kneels down and grabs Deidara's arm, pulling it around his neck and standing. Kisame groans before throwing Kakuzu over his shoulders and following the two deep into the woods and out of the small village.
At least the mission was technically a success, Itachi thinks as he wonders how they're going to tell Leader about this.