That's what happens when I get pissed on the fandom. I have to write angst to set myself free. Don't blame me for this. Blame TappingTuesday -.-
Tag to "Vigilante". The action takes place just after Helen discovers she has to go to Mongolia to find the keystone with Druitt.
He paced out of the room hurrying to reach his room – the one he had been living in at the Sanctuary for the last weeks. He knew exactly what he had to do. Anger and disappointment were clogging his mind but he struggled to maintain a calm appearance. One question among many others was constantly bothering him. Why did he even think it would be different this time? Why did he allow himself to hope?
Helen stood in the doorframe and watched him as he was packing his clothes. She had followed him upstairs because the look on his face when she told him she was going to go to Mongolia with John let her know he would do something childish. And now, seeing him actually packing his things and getting ready to leave the Sanctuary, her heart was somehow twisted apart.
"Nikola." She plucked up her courage and made him aware of her presence.
He finally turned to face her. Helen's heart flinched when she met his gaze. He seemed… devastated.
"Yes?" He replied indifferently as he continued to empty the drawers.
"What are you doing?"
"What I should've done weeks ago."
"Nikola, don't be act like a spoiled kid. I thought you can handle your problems in a more mature way than running away. I know that you and John had your differences but leaving because of that…"
"I'm not leaving because of John, Helen. I'm leaving because there is no point in staying anymore."
"What do you mean?" She asked confused.
Nikola turned around to face her again.
"I thought you've figured it out by now." He said. "The only reason why I accepted to live at the Sanctuary was because of you. I actually thought- "
He stopped without finishing his sentence. Yet a part of Helen already knew what he was going to say.
"I know when I'm being used, Helen. I was naïve enough to think things have changed. But you still haven't gotten over John and I can't wait another century."
He closed his luggage, grabbed his coat and paced to the door. He stopped in front of her.
"Goodbye, Helen."
"Stay." She said placing a hand on his chest.
"I can't." He answered placing his hand over hers and squeezing it gently.
"For me. Please."
He took her hand and kissed her every finger.
"I have to go." He said and released her hand and walked out the door.
"I thought you love me." Helen said.
He turned around and replied,
"I do. More than anything in the world. But I'm afraid that's not enough."
She was staring at him speechless not knowing what to reply. She wished so much to say something – anything, but her feelings about him were still confuse.
"Farewell, Helen." He said with a wistful smile at the corner of his mouth. "I hope you will find happiness at last."
She froze in the doorframe watching him pacing slowly with his left hand on the hip, as always, and carrying his luggage. He was long gone when she realized she was still standing there, her gaze wandering idly. Then emptiness and numbness took over her heart. She returned to his room and curled in his bed. His smell was so vivid as if he was still there with her. She pulled the pillow to her chest burying her face in it while incontrollable sobs left her chest. She knew that for the rest of her life she would regret letting him go.