"Look, I can't talk here. I told you not to call, that I'd call you. If Obi-Wan catches me talking to you-"
"Padawan?" Obi-wan called.
I'm dead.
Anakin turned to find his Master standing with his arms crossed. If Anakin had any doubt that Obi-Wan had heard that last part, they were completely erased by the look in his Master's eyes. He flicked the comm link off as a distinctively female voice continued to talk.
"Yes, Master?" Anakin asked with all the innocence he could muster.
"Who was on the comm link?" There was no betrayal of emotion on Obi-Wan's face, but Anakin knew it was more than just curiosity.
He tried to think of a suitable answer, any suitable answer. "Uh-" was the only sound that escaped his lips. He coughed. "No one."
"I see. Tell me, then why were you so worried, I would catch you talking to no one." Obi-Wan had still not moved, but Anakin knew he was in serious trouble.
It did not help that his comm link chose that moment to start beeping. He removed his gaze from his Master's stern face to the object in his hand. He did not move for several seconds.
It beeped several times more times.
"Padawan, are you going to answer that?" Obi-Wan asked. "It could be important."
With you here - I'd rather die!
Anakin silenced the beeping, "Uh, no." Think. Think brain think. "It's probably just another holonet reporter, asking for an interview."
Please tell me that did not sound as lame as I think it did.
Obi-Wan raised one eyebrow a fraction of an inch and called the comm link to his hand. "Let's just see, shall we?"
Anakin could only stare at his treacherous hand that let go of the object, and then at Obi-Wan, as he answered the call.
He was dead.
"Hello," the crisp Corscanti accent spoke.
Anakin felt the floor dissolve around him.
"Master Kenobi, this is a surprise. I was under the impression that this was Padawan Skywalker's personal comm link." Padmé's voice echoed in the room.
And Anakin Skywalker nearly leapt that it was her voice and not the annoying lady from the previous phone call. Of course, that was until he realized that he would have to explain why Padmé was calling his personal comm link.
"No, this is Anakin's personal comm link, Senator, but he did not want to take the call." Obi-Wan replied nonchalantly, too nonchalantly for Anakin's liking.
"I see. Well, I will have to try to reach him at a more convenient time then." Padmé said in her best politician's voice, the one that told Anakin that she was annoyed. She was upset, and Anakin knew he was in trouble. Wonderful.
"I would assume so, Senator. Would you like me to relay a message to him for you?" Anakin did not know that his Master could be so cruel while sounding so completely civil.
Just skewer me with your lightsaber, Master. It would be less painful.
"No, that's alright, Master Kenobi" his angel's voice sounded just as deadly. "I'll call him later this evening."
Anakin really did not look forward to that conversation.
Obi-Wan and Padmé exchanged pleasant good-byes and his Master stared at Anakin, who was desperately trying to construct all of his mental shields. Why did they have to call today of all days?
"Padawan, you do realize I am not opposed to your friendship with Senator Amidala."
Anakin froze. Did he hear his Master correctly? There was no condemnation, just exasperation.
"I – I uh,"
Obi-Wan ran a hand through his graying hair. "Really Anakin, do you think I only talk to the Council with my comm link?"
Yes.
"Uh, of course not, Master." Anakin replied.
Obi-Wan handed his student the comm link. "I do wish you would trust me, Padawan." And then he walked out of the room before Anakin could reply.
Anakin fell onto the couch. He could not believe his luck, and his Master's acceptance of Padmé's call. But he still had to deal with Dolly. He could not believe he agreed to advertise her perfume, but she assured him that the magazine and billboards would never appear on any of the core worlds as the scent was specific to some backwater, more remote than Tatooine world, called Agarr. And he would have enough money to buy Padmé an actual birthday present.
One week later, Anakin had his photo shoot. And his Master was none the wiser. Two weeks later, he bought Padmé a beautiful necklace. His angel than asked where he got the money and when he told her, she scolded him – that he did not need to risk his Jedi career to buy her some stupid necklace – that his love was enough.
Two years, later Anakin and Obi-Wan were assigned to a mission on Agarr, and Anakin had forgotten about the photo shoot and the perfume.
_____
Obi-Wan was shocked by the people of Agarr's hospitality. During the war, he was used to most inhabitants of planets to glare at him or yell about the fact that he was responsible for bringing the war to their planet, but the people of Agarr were excited about the Jedi's presence or more precisely, Anakin's presence. He asked Anakin about it once, and his former Padawan just shook his head, confused.
That was until today.
A female of their species charged Anakin squealing. She was lucky that both Jedi were able to perceive she was not a threat before they ignited their lightsabers – still the way she clung to Anakin and sniffed his neck – had, at least Anakin wishing he had ignited the lightsaber – as it was Obi-Wan hid a smile behind his hand as his former student tried desperately to pull the creature off him.
"It appears you have a fan."
"Obi-Wan" he growled. "Could you stop laughing and pull her off of me?"
The older Jedi was about to use the force to gently remove the female from Anakin, but at that moment the sniffing stopped and the creature bit Anakin, jumped off immediately, and starting squawking in her native language – which neither Obi-Wan or Anakin spoke. She then promptly ran off, and so did many of the onlookers.
"Sith," Anakin exclaimed, clasping his language.
Obi-Wan sighed, "Language, Anakin."
His friend glared at him. "She bit me Obi-Wan! She bit me!" He pulled his hand away and stared at it. "Oh force, she even broke the skin."
"Calm down, Anakin." Obi-Wan replied as he handed him a bacta patch.
Anakin glared at him as he applied the patch to his neck.
"She seemed rather upset by something."
"She had no right to bite me, no matter how upset she was."
Obi-Wan hid another smile behind his hand. "Really Anakin, you're acting as if she tried to kill you."
Anakin threw another glare. "She could have been."
A male of the species approached them slowly and spoke in choppy basic.
"No harm wish I you."
Obi-Wan nodded.
"She said you" he pointed a finger at Anakin. "smell not as should you. T'cha - Liar called you."
"And just how am I supposed to smell?" Anakin asked angrily.
The male grabbed Anakin by the hand and lead the pair to a billboard that featured Anakin, but that was not all. It featured Anakin not wearing a top with his six-pack sparkling, his skin painted the orangish pink of the native species of Agarr and in his left hand there was a bottle of perfume. Underneath were words scribbled in the native tongue that neither Anakin, nor thankfully, Obi-Wan understood. But Anakin remembered.
He remembered all too well the photo shoot, the final picture and how he asked Dolly an Agarrian what the words said. "The smell of love," she said and then proceeded to tell Anakin that her species mating process began with the mixing of scents. Anakin did not understand, but he smiled as he accepted the credits for his services.
No Jedi was ever supposed to set foot on Agarr. Let alone him and his Master.
Oh force, kill me.
"Best perfume in Agarr." The male told them.
And Anakin wished the planet would open up and swallow him whole.
"Interesting," Obi-Wan said and then thanked the male for his help. As the male left, Obi-Wan asked, "Anakin, why is there a picture of you on that billboard?"
"Would you believe that they found it on the Holonet and did it without my consent?" Anakin asked hopeful.
"Should I?" Obi-Wan raised one eyebrow slightly and folded his arms.
Anakin felt like a padawan all over again.
"Don't you think we have more pressing matters than discussing this billboard?" Anakin asked.
"No, I don't."
Anakin sighed. "It was dumb mistake I made as a padawan for some extra cash. Okay? Look, I know it was stupid, and I am sorry."
Anakin took this moment to look up at Obi-Wan. It was then he noticed the tell tale sign in Obi-Wan's eyes despite the frown on his face.
"It's not funny," Anakin glared.
It was then that Obi-Wan smiled openly and laughed.
"It's not funny." He repeated.
Obi-Wan composed himself, "May I ask what was so important that you agreed to this?" Obi-Wan gestured toward the billboard and couldn't hide the smile this time.
So much for perfect Jedi composure.
"You're not angry?" Anakin asked.
"Anakin, I am no longer your Master, and let's face it, this is not the worst rule you have broken." He replied.
Anakin did not reply. He was too shocked.
"I'm just curious did you know that the slogan was 'Love god gives his scent for your pleasure.' Of course it does not have the same ring in basic?" Obi-Wan smirked.
Anakin's jaw fell to the floor and his cheeks flushed. From the neck up he was turning a deep red.
"I'll take that as a no." Obi-Wan glanced at his chrono. "I do believe we should be getting back to the royal palace, and report back to the Council that there is no Separatist activity in this system.
"You speak Agarrian?"
"Speak it no, but since the reports said that most beings did not speak basic. I studied the language on the way here."
Anakin just stared at his former master.
"I wonder what Mace will say when he hears about this." Obi-Wan chuckled as he headed back towards the royal palace.
"You wouldn't?" He gasped.
Obi-Wan only smiled.
