Seriously, I don't know what I was thinking. Probably about gender-bending. Because, you know, I enjoy turning poor souls into the opposite gender. It entertains me. So, I guess, I was thinking about the characters that would be sinfully funny to gender bend. As you may tell, Kanda's name passed my mind. There was a moment of silence. Another moment. And another. And then I could not hold in the hilarity of the thought, and I laughed out loud. And then, I thought about how damn awesome it would be to write. And . . . And . . . Well, this came up. For real, I don't know if I should even continue this. It's . . . I . . . Well I kind of feel bad.

Yes. I know Kanda is a part of some Japanese ladies imagination. But . . . He would be so angry at me!!!

Gah, I'm sorry Kanda! Don't magically slap me, or something!

Meditating was something she had always done. She was taught to do it when she was young—and she found it useful. With the brunt of the war directing her and the others, stress was a definite problem. Some people drew, some people played sports, and some people read to take their mind away. Kanda meditated.

She wasn't in her exorcist uniform at that time. She'd just gotten back from a mission, and wasn't due for another one for a day or three. She didn't remember. Not like it really mattered if she remembered. They would tell her when she was leaving…

All that mattered now was nothing. Don't focus. Don't think. Just feel.

"Kanda-chan?"

Lenalee. Kanda's teeth ground together, before she decided to just ignore the girl.

"Kanda-chan? I need to talk to you."

Kanda is meditating. Kanda is ignoringyou. Kanda does not hear you.

"Kanda-chan! Don't make me hit you over the head with something!" the girl practically shouted, before puffing her cheeks in annoyance.

Kanda sighed internally, before slowly turning her attention to Lenalee, eyes narrowed, a frown clearly printed on her face. The expression said it all. "What?" she asked dully, propping her chin on her fist.

Lenalee smiled, satisfied. "Good! I thought I'd have to kick you." Kanda rolled her eyes, and the only response was a laugh. With a smile, Lenalee explained why she'd come and interrupted Kanda for what seemed to be, and probably was, a shitty reason. "You've been in here all day, Kanda! Let's go eat dinner together, okay?"

Her grin was angelic. How could someone possibly refuse the cuteness that was Lenalee?

"No."

Kanda is meditating. She will ignore you. She will pretend she doesn't hear you.

Lenalee huffed, before angrily turning on her heels, and briskly walking away. She knew a lost cause when she saw one. But that didn't mean she would refrain from muttering complaints the whole way. But that was okay. Because Kanda didn't hear her.

--

Half an hour later, Kanda was eating a late dinner, because she was a moron who got hungry. Slowly shoveling loads of Soba into her mouth, she contemplated asking for more sauce. Why? Because she likedSoba with a lot of sauce. And if you like something, then you eat it. You don't need a reason.

It was a bit more difficult to eat today though—She'd taken on some serious hits on her last mission, and even though it'd been a day or so since she'd actually been wounded, the thing still stung every time she moved her right arm. Healed—but still sore. It felt like an electric pang running down her side. Painful. Unhelpful. Because of this she'd resorted to eating her food with her left hand… which was a bit messier, and clumsier. But not by much. She was practically ambidextrous.

So far, it was a day just like any other. Nothing interesting happened so far, and frankly, in her own (probably biased) opinion, nothing to terribly special was happening later anyways. Important? Probably. Could she live without it? Yes. The damn annoying brat.

After she'd finished, she stood up instantly, causing a clang of sliver wear. Anyone within a 10 meter radius (which was few) jolted with surprise, eyeing her wearily. With an ever so dull expression, she pulled her arms into the sleeves of her coat, not even bothering to zip it up, despite the fact that all that was underneath was a thick layer of bandages that shamelessly revealed most of her torso. Did she care about this? Obviously. She wasn't even wearing the coat earlier.

The bowl was still on the table. She contemplated leaving it for someone else to clean up. A sideways glance to the nearest man almost caused the poor thing a heart attack. She snorted, and rolled her eyes. It seemed like too much trouble. And besides, it was possible no one would get it. And where would she be then? Kitchen duty with Jerry… She suppressed a shiver, and quickly took hold of the bowl, holding it palms up like a waitress carrying a platter.

After dumping the leftover juices, and after stacking the bowl neatly into the mound of dirty dishes (all the while with the same half glare, half emotionless stare), she deduced that her job was done, and she could go to sleep or something. If all went to plan, she could be knocked out within the hour.

Halfway to her room, she realized that this dream would not be fulfilled.

"INTRUDER ALERT!" the intercom wailed. One of Kanda's hands instantly shot up to the most affected ear. It was automatic what she was supposed to do now. She and Lenalee were the only exorcists in the building, and it wasn't like Komui was going to send his precious little sibling out there (The stupid sister complex). Besides… She was closest to an exit anyways, right? If a window counted as an exit that is…

"Tch, like it matters." She muttered. That window never had a chance (AN: How else could he have possibly got there so quickly!?). With a swift kick, glass shattered outwards like an obviously sharper-than-normal hailstorm. She swung her leg over, and one jagged, ice-cold shard raked against the bottom of her thigh, a line of blood tracing its way up her skin. A drop of red splattered onto the window-frame, and that was it.

And she was out of there.

Her sword was drawn, the weapon doubling as a balance keeper as she skidded down short distance, and tile scraper, the clang of roofing breaking off from its former home following in her wake. She landed with an acrobats pose. She got up from her kneeling position, so as to get a better look at whatever the hell she was going to gut that night. Her eyes scanned the ground from her vantage point. Nothing, nothing, plant, plant, old man, plant, dirt—ah, it was probably the old man. O rather, whatever was posing as an old man.

Her eye narrowed. Whatever it was, it was going to be dead in a few seconds. Their gazes locked, blue meeting gray. A smirk twitched onto her face.

"Are you really stupid enough to come here alone?" a cold voice muttered, the emotions in her tone ranging from disbelief, to amusement, and to undoubtedly the most dominant of them all, annoyance.

Time to close the distance. Kanda leaped off the roof, barely registering the old man's protests of innocence. Her eye internally rolled. Human? Yeah. Right. The white hair of head was blocked by a gigantically ugly red arm. Using the momentum of her fall, Kanda's sword cut a clean line right down the appendage. It was the sound of ripping fabric, and scratching steel. That was her first clue that something was different.

She seriously thought that was all it would take before he shriveled into a pile of dust, or matter, or whatever they called it these days. But apparently old man had a stubborn streak. He jumped back from her slash, skidding back a few centimeters, before stopping to a halt. Kanda's eyes flicked upwards, and surprise was clearly written on her face.

Now that she got a good look at the old man, it turned out he wasn't so old after all. Just a stupid little brat with a mop of ugly white hair. She frowned at his small grunt of pain, before setting herself upright, placing the flat edge of Mugen on her palm as she looked him over. What the hell was going on? He should be gone by now… But he was just staring at his stupid hand with disbelief, as if he'd never seen wound on it before. What was with that arm…? It didn't look like an akuma weapon. It seriously resembled some kind of innocence.

"You. What's with that arm?" she asked in a non-friendly manner, glaring at it as if it were some kind of disease she could catch at any second.

The brat frowned, and looked at her with a serious expression, "This is an anti-akuma weapon." He stated, saying each word clearly, "I am an exorcist."

Kanda's frown deepened. "Are you serious?" she mumbled, irritated, before snapping her attention to the entrance, "Damn it, Gate Keeper!" she shouted very, very angrily, reminding the world why her nickname within the order wasn't Demon Queen for nothing.

The stupid door babbled a bunch of nonsense, which Kanda barely listened to, and then the old-man-boy-brat screamed some other stuff at him, in which Kanda also barely listened to, and by the time the door rolled out some more words, she wasn't listening at all. This was seriously pissing her off. She wanted some straight answers, and she wanted them now. No, she didn't care about answers. She just wanted to sleep… The flat of her sword tapped against her palm, sliding against her hand, before her finger arched upwards, balancing the steel on the tips of her nails.

"Hmph." They both automatically turned their attention towards her, even though she barely made an audible noise. She looked up from her weapon, eyes boring into her target, "I guess there's only one way to find out what you're made of." She hissed.

With a swift motion, she was back in attacking mode. "Stand still, brat." She commanded, before rushing in for the kill.

"Wait, really, wait!" he screamed, holding his hand in front of him, "I'm not your enemy! You should have gotten the letter of recommendation from Cross!"

Cross? She halted; the tip of her sword was close enough to slice off his bangs. Kanda blinked, "Recommendation?" she stated, "From the General?"

Wasn't he supposed to be dead? Not like she really cared. He'd always been a pain in the ass…

"Y-Yes! A-A-A Letter." He answered shakily, not able to look at much else but the deadly point, not even a fingers width away from his head. He was a lucky, lucky bastard. "A-Addressed to a person named, K-Komui!"

If he knew who Komui was, this kid-old-man could be for real. But if it was a letter to Komui—god, they could be out here all night. She grimaced, and narrowed her eyes, not even bothering to say anything. She would find out if she was allowed to skewer him in the head within a few minutes, at the least. So, with that, she waited.

Not too long after that thought (better time then she had expected, at least), a familiar, if not annoying voice came on over the intercom. "Kanda!" a panicked voice called, "Halt your attack!"

Was it going to be that easy…? Yeah. Like she was going to do that now. Her sword might have lowered a few centimeters (it was now resting nicely at the base of his neck) but that just meant that she'd get to slit his throat.

"Open the gate!" a voice announced, "We allow you to pass, Allen Walker!"

Her eyes narrowed. What the hell was going on? Were they letting him off that easily? What other proof then a damn letter did they have? For all they knew, he could just be some monster in disguise. But then a flash of gold caught her attention, and her eyes focused on a more majestic looking golem then the usual brand. That thing followed Cross around. She almost sighed. If it was good enough proof for them, it would have to be good enough for her. At least for now. If she found something that was off in the slightest, the kid would wake up with a blood soaked pillow.

She sheathed Mugen with practiced speed and accuracy. She frowned (it was almost a pout), and lifted her chin. "You got lucky this time, brat." She spat, earning a glare from the now present Lenalee, who was striding towards them with a clipboard in hand.

"Kanda-chan," she scolded, "You should be nicer sometimes."

Kanda snorted, taking a step towards the Order, or in her opinion, a step towards sleep. But she was stopped by an annoyingly pubescent voice. "Ah, Miss Kanda!" the kid said loud enough to cover the distance between them. She didn't bother to look back. She was going to bed. She didn't want to converse with an annoying shortie. Hell, she'd probably never want to converse with him. "Kanda was your name, correct?" he called out again, closer then the last time.

Slowly, ever so slowly, Kanda turned her head to look at him. No words needed. An icy glare was all she felt he deserved for coming in-between her and a good night's rest. He smiled, and her insides squirmed with new found hatred for the twerp. "It's a pleasure to meet you." He greeted, acting as if she wasn't about to stab him a few seconds ago. His hand was held out, and all she did was stare.

He waited for a moment, his hand still in the air. It was like she was obligated to say something. The kid was asking for an insult. Her lip twitched with annoyance, "Like I'd touch your ugly hand." She growled, before turning back to her original course. Within a few minutes, she had collapsed on her bed.

Nothing like a bitch without shut-eye.

I'm cowering in the corner, waiting for tons of hate reviews.

Please don't hurt me. It was the voices that made me do it