Brainy Girl (to the tune of 'Barbie Girl')
SETTING: The Entrance Hall, just before a Hogsmeade visit
Y'know how at one point in every book Hermione goes spastic and does
something really OOC? This is a sneak peek into Book 5...
HERMIONE (singing)
I'm a brainy girl, in the magical world,
Acting spastic, it's fantastic!
You can diss my hair, and curse me everywhere,
Imagination is crucial to this location!
HARRY (yelling to Hermione)
Come on, Hermione, we're going to Hogsmeade!
HERMIONE (stil singing)
Uh huh, oh yeah!
RON (yelling to Hermione)
Come on, Hermione, we're going NOW!
HERMIONE (STILL singing, believe it or not)
Ooh whoa, ooh whoa!
HERMIONE (jumping around)
Make fun of my walk, the way I talk, do whatever you please!
I will act like a star, I won't beg on my knees!
RON (grins in a 'what-the-hell' kinda way and jumps beside Hermione)
Come on, doll, rock and roll, in the Weird Sisters' way!
PANSY (Pansy Parkinson has been making fun of Hermione ever since she
started singing and is really miffed that she's not taking a blind bit of notice)
Oh, curse me here, curse me there-
RON AND HERMIONE (together, they curse Pansy really badly and she
crawls away to cry on Draco's shoulder)
Thank you, thank you!
HERMIONE (sings)
You can curse, and insult, if you say, I can punch you!
(Millicent Bulstrode is creeping up behind her and as Hermione flings back
her arms she unknowingly hits Millicent in the face. Millicent is
knocked out)
HERMIONE (biiiig finish)
Oh, I'm a brainy girl, in the magical world!
Acting spastic, it's fantastic!
You can diss my hair, and curse me everywhere!
Imagination, is crucial to this location!
HERMIONE (stops singing, turns to Ron and says calmly)
So how'd I do?
RON (pulls out a script from behind his back and consults it)
You did fine, but Hermione?
HERMIONE (curiously)
Yes?
RON (apologetically)
Well, because you chose this chapter to do your annual OOC
thing, you can't knock out Millicent Bulstrode in Chapter Eighteen.
HERMIONE (annoyed)
Oh, dammit!
HARRY (shrugs)
Well, you win some, you lose some.
HERMIONE (defeatedly)
Mmm, I guess. Want to get Butterbeers while we're not filming?
HARRY AND RON (together)
Okay.
(All three exit, ignoring Millicent on the floor)