Okay, this was requested by our wonderful and loving mod fizz. I hope I did justice to what you asked for!! Special thanks to someday for beta-ing it for me. You rock, my love!! (both from the JoLu Forum "When I'm With You")
If you take the time to read, please leave me a little note. Makes me very happy in a time when I'm going insane LOL
I Wish It Would Rain
Johnny stood at the Overlook, peering out into the darkening sky. It wasn't nightfall just yet, but it was ominously dark out. Maybe it was a sign. A sign of where he was headed. He sighed, long and deep. His life was not going the way it was supposed to. When his father was gone, he was supposed to be free. But he just kept getting drawn in deeper and deeper.
It was over. He was done. At first, after the kidnapping and explosion, he was angry, full of rage and wanting vengeance. Johnny was so bloodthirsty, that he didn't care who or what he hurt – even Lulu. And hurt her he did.
You know I never meant to see you again
And I only passed by as a friend
All this time I stayed out of sight
I started wondering why
Now I, I wish it would rain down, down on me
Yes I wish it would rain, rain down on me now
You said you didn't need me in your life
I guess you were right
Well I never meant to cause you no pain
But it looks like I did it again
Now I, I wish it would rain down, down on me
Yes I wish it would rain, rain down on me now
Though your hurt is gone, mines hanging on, inside
And I know it's eating me through every night and day
I'm just waiting on your sign
'Cos I know, I know I never meant to cause you no pain
And I realize I let you down
But I know in my heart of heart of hearts
I know I'm never gonna hold you again
Johnny woke up a few days after the "break-up" with Lulu more tired than when he went to sleep. He spent the night tossing and turning – and that's when he saw the light. He realized that he was turning into the person he hated the most: his father. Johnny was consumed by rage, and led by revenge. His moods would flip on and off like a switch. He wanted to do nothing more than hurt Sonny – to bring him down and make him suffer. But that was not who he was. That was Anthony Zacchara, not Johnny Zacchara. That realization drained him. He was done.
The truce with Sonny was in place – he didn't even feel like bothering with the double cross anymore. Johnny just wanted everything to be over. He didn't care. He had nothing left in his life to enjoy. There was Claudia – yes – and she obviously loved, cared and worried about him. But deep down he knew she had some hidden agenda she needed to take care of. He would always be second to that. Whatever she had up her sleeves was going to cause chaos and bloodshed – and he just didn't have the energy to deal with that.
The haze of his wrath had exhausted him. He had no fight left anymore. He didn't have Lulu. Johnny had nothing.
Lulu was all he really wanted… and he lost her. His need for vengeance clouded his judgment so badly, that he threw her aside as if she meant nothing. But she meant everything.
So he found himself once again at the Overlook, leaning over the railing, pondering where exactly things went wrong. He tilted his head back, looking up into the threatening sky. A fat raindrop fell onto his forehead. "Great," he muttered. "Even the weather is against me."
He heard a crunching noise behind him and he whipped around, gun pointed at the disturbance. Being kidnapped puts one on edge. When Johnny saw who it was, he lowered his weapon and frowned.
"Do you greet everyone that way?" Lulu snapped at him.
"Yeah, well, once you've been kidnapped by a crazy man, you get a little jumpy."
"Been there, done that. Yet you don't see me carrying a gun."
Johnny sighed. "It's different for me, Lulu."
"Oh really," she said, crossing her arms. "Explain."
He narrowed his eyes and took a few steps towards her. "Why should I? You've made it clear you don't want anything to do with me. I have no reason to explain myself to you."
"You didn't give me a choice," she yelled, moving even closer to him. They were practically eye-to-eye now. "I'm sure it's not what you wanted, and it's certainly not what I wanted."
"You keep saying that. You say you want me, but when something you don't like happens, you scurry away like a scared little girl. You knew what you were getting into when you met me," he said, pointing his finger in her face. "What's with the about-face now?"
"Because I don't want to see every single person I care about hurt in this upcoming war! Why are you insisting on doing this? For god's sake, tell me what Sonny did to you to make you act like this!"
"What do you want to hear, huh, Lulu?" Johnny yelled, making her jump back a step. "That he kidnapped me on the night we were supposed to have our date? That he locked me in a padded room in an abandoned insane asylum in the mountains without my clothes? Without food or water?" He kept advancing on her until she was backed up against where his car was parked. All the while he kept ranting. "That he threatened to cut off my fingers so I wouldn't be able to play the piano anymore? Or that he was going to kill me if we didn't return his son – that we didn't have? But let's not forget to mention the fact that he used me as a human punching bag the whole time, too. On top of all that, after I save his son's life in the explosion, he still has the gall to go and threaten my sister. There's only so much a man can take before he snaps, Lulu, only so much."
At this point, Johnny ran out of steam. He lowered his voice so much that Lulu could barely hear his next sentence. "There's only so much a man can take before he turns into his father."
Lulu had tears streaming down her face. She had no idea that Sonny did all those things to him. And the fact that Johnny thought he was turning into his father made her heart hurt. "Johnny, you are nothing like him."
"Right. Then why, for the past week, did I not care who I hurt, huh? Every person in my house got the brunt of my wrath. And you – I hurt you the most." He gave a bitter laugh. "We made a truce with Sonny, just so we could double cross him later."
"In order to start the war," Lulu stated.
Johnny nodded his head in agreement. "But after I had this epiphany that I was turning into my dad, I just don't have the energy to hate anymore. I don't care. I don't want a war, I don't want revenge…. I just… I don't know what I want," he muttered, moving away from her and leaning against the car.
"So what are you saying?"
"I'm saying I'm done. I'm letting Claudia take over. I can't deal with this anymore. If she wants to start a war, fine. But I'm through. I don't even know who I am."
Lulu smiled through her tears. She pushed off the car and turned to face Johnny. "Well, you may not know who you are, but I do."
He looked up at her. "Oh really," he replied, letting a shadow of a grin pass through his face. "Who am I?"
She smiled and laid her hand on his cheek. "You are a kind, generous, protective, creative, loving person. And I've missed that person," she said, her voice cracking with emotion.
"I've missed you too," Johnny whispered.
"Why do we always wind up hurting each other so badly?"
"Habit," he quipped with a smile. She laughed in response and leaned up to kiss him. It started off soft and sweet, but quickly turned into something deep and passionate. Everything they missed about each other came out in that kiss.
Suddenly, a crack of thunder sounded and the sky opened up. Rain poured down like a sheet drenching them immediately. They parted for a second and both looked up and started to laugh. Johnny stuck his arms out sideways and walked a few steps away from the car. "This is amazing," he yelled to Lulu, spinning in a quick circle. "I finally feel free!"
Seeing him finally happy made Lulu's heart soar. Just looking at him made her feel warm all over. "God, I love you, Johnny," she blurted out. Realizing what she said, she slapped her hand over her mouth, almost wishing she could bring the words back in. What if he didn't feel the same?
Johnny paused mid-spin and looked at Lulu. "What did you say?" he asked.
"Nothing," she said quickly. "I didn't say anything."
He walked back to where she was leaning against his car. "No, I distinctly heard you say something. What was it?"
Lulu blushed furiously and sighed. "Fine," she said, trying to wipe some of the rain out of her eyes and pushing her soggy hair to the side. "I love you, okay? And whether or not you feel the same way doesn't matter right now, but I love you. I love you – "
He kissed her fast and hard. "Shut up," he growled. "Because I happen to love you, too." Her eyes widened in surprise and then shut in pure bliss as he leaned down to kiss her again. She locked her arms around his neck, trying to get as close as possible. Their tongues battled fiercely, each trying to get control over the other. But Lulu still didn't feel like they were close enough. She was already pinned against the car, so she brought her legs up and wrapped them around Johnny's waist.
"God, Lulu," Johnny groaned against her mouth. "I thought I had lost you after that fight in my office. I don't know what I would have done without you."
"It broke my heart to do that, but all I could see was you dead. I couldn't live through that," she admitted. "Now, if you don't take me somewhere and make love to me," she said tightening her arms around his neck and her legs around his waist, "I think I'm going to move through you by osmosis. And that's not fun."
Johnny gave a half groan, half laugh at her words and the way she felt pressing up against him. Life with Lulu Spencer was certainly going to be a trip. "Who am I to deny a lady what she wants," he quipped.
I'm in love with a girl who knows me better,
Fell for the women just when I met her,
Took my sweet time when I was bitter,
Someone understands me.
And she knows how to treat a fella right,
Give me that feeling every night,
Wants to make love when I wanna fight,
Now someone understands me.
I'm in love with a girl (I'm in love with a girl)
I'm in love with a girl (I'm in love with a girl)
I'm in love with a girl (I'm in love with a girl)
Lyrics: I Wish It Would Rain by Phil Collins
Lyrics: I'm In Love With A Girl by Gavin DeGraw