AN: i dont own merlin, just this fanfic. foe anyone else who read a former story of mine. i truly appologize for the lack of updates. multiple deaths and tragedies among family and friends since late fabruary have greatly depressed me and put a strain on my family relationships. we are finally attempting to get over everything that happedned but this emotional stuff takes time. thanks for your endless patience. please read and review.
It was past midnight and Gaius lay awake in his bed, thinking about all of the attacks against Camelot since Merlin arrived the day for the execution of Joseph Collins. It seemed like there were so many in that short time span that getting attacked my magic was considered a normal part of the week. The wind rustled the pages of his science books that lay open next to him as it blew softly through the window. He had been up late studying, and finally paused when he came across a sleeping potion that reminded him of the first time Merlin saved Arthur from magic.
At the time, Mary Collins had seemed evil and vengeful. Filled with pointless hate. But looking back, he started to have second thoughts. About her, not about Merlin saving Arthur. After loosing Alice, Gaius could understand all of those sorcerers' pain. The grief one feels from losing the most important thing in their life to an uncaring and unfeeling tyrant. Sighing, he sat up and walked out of his chambers, making sure to not wake Merlin with the creaking door.
He walked slowly through the hall that lead away from his room and to the courtyard. He stopped walking as he reached the first window that looked out towards the main square. In a moment of mental weakness, his mind flashed back to all the fires that were lit over twenty years ago. The screams of the men women and children that filled the air for months haunt him in his dreams still. Nothing reminded him of those horrible times more than when Edwin came back to usurp his position as court physician. It was close but he managed to save Uther in the end. Well, convince Merlin to.
Merlin. It seemed that everything came back to him. The boy possesses so much power, but doesn't even truly realize it. In the rare moments he actually accesses his true potential, it is always in the interest of others, not himself. He always does what he thinks is right. Not what society or laws or class expects him to. He follows his heart, and no matter how much it gets him into trouble, things always work themselves out in the end.
Arthur, that's another question wrapped up in itself. Sometimes he really can be a prat, to use Merlin's favorite word. Other times, however, he can glimpse the man behind the title, the one that prophesy dictates will go down in history as one of the greatest rulers of the world, the Once and Future King. It's sometime difficult to believe how much compassion he holds inside him with Uther as his father. He must have gotten that from Ygraine. Even though Arthur would never admit it, Gaius can see how much he trusted and respects Merlin for daring to speak up against something unjust. This is a quality both boys share. They damn the consequences and do what they think is right. This is something, Gaius shamefully admits to himself; he was never able to do much of. All of the people around him have such strength of will, it's staggering.
Uther, with his laws on magic. Even though the entire kingdom practically sees that some magic is good, the king can't. But he persecutes them because he truly believes they are evil.
Then there is Arthur, who defied his father's orders and rode off to find the antidote to the poison Merlin drank. He certainly doesn't let Uther stand between him and matters of the heart. Gwen is proof to that.
Guinevere. Such a beautiful young woman. Who knows if the hidden relationship the two share will ever become of something, but if anyone could make it work, it would be them.
Then there are the newest knights of the kingdom, appointed by Arthur despite the code.
Lancelot's only wish in life was to serve Camelot, and he finally got his desire. He proved himself worthy in his own eyes, the hardest feat of all.
Gwaine, the only knight who could beat Arthur half drunk, not that the prince would admit it. His blatant disregard for society was a bit shocking the court physician at first, but that very quality of following his beliefs is the reason he fits right in with the rest of them.
Gaius doesn't know Percival or Elyan very well but if they were able to win a place at the round table, they mush be just as worthy of the title knight as the others.
Then there is Leon, Arthur's most trusted original knight. From the stories he heard from Gwen of the shooting in the square when Morgana tried to convince them to pledge loyalty to her, the more experienced knight had more steel in his young soul than Gaius ever possessed. The old man knew he would have most likely caved before then.
Even a few of the sorcerers on the other side gained his respect. Mary Collins died trying to get rid of what she saw as a truly evil man in order to hopefully spare others from having to experience her pain. The witch Nimueh even, deserves notice for her dedication to removing Uther from the throne.
Whenever Edwin arrived to cure Morgana's illness, you couldn't help but see his point of view. His parents practiced magic, and hey were burned at the stake for it. They were black sorcerers, but he had brought up a valid point, which the dragon then reiterated.
He, Gaius, simply turned a blind eye. Even when his head and heart were screaming at him to help the innocent people who were burned right after each other, he stood by and did noting. His silence chose for him. he choose the easy way out.
Even Morgana, fought tooth and nail for the side she truly believed in. they were all brutal, cruel and rather selfish, but who was he to say anything. They were all what Uther had made them. Not one of them made the first strike. That honor (or shame) rested solely on Uther.
Sighing, the old man slowly made his way back to his bed. He couldn't handle all the shame and guilt in his state. Looking back, he could see that he was just as selfish as the sorcerers that attacked Uther. He could only try to draw on the strength of much better men, and, in Gwen's case, women to help him never hold back from standing up against injustice in Camelot.
As he faded back into the arms of sleep, his final thoughts were to Merlin and Arthur, whom he hoped would never do what he himself had done for over half his life. Turn a blind eye.
He knew together, they would always do what they believe is right.