So I understand this might be weird. I apologize ahead of time and assure you that Ike and Marth are totally normal and sane.
"I don't like being vulnerable," said Ike, slouching in the bus. "When we get to this new smash bros thing, what's say we… fool everyone."
"What?" asked his best friend, Marth.
"You can act. I can act. I'm dumb and stupid, and you can be stuck up and proud."
"Stupid? Proud?" A smile spread across his face. "Done."
When the doors opened, a tall young man, very skinny, with shining blue hair and a sheathed sword, stepped down from the bus, a muscular giant behind him.
"Welcome to smash mansion," said a man with a mustache and red hat. "My name is Mario."
"Yes, yes, servant," said Math, waving his hand dismissively at the little man. "Ike! Come!"
Ike shuffled along behind him.
They entered a large room where many strange people were eating food.
"Give me a bowl of rice with a dash of soy sauce," ordered Marth, giving the cafeteria lady a stern look over his nose.
"Yes, sir," she snapped sarcastically, dishing it out.
"Hmph," said Marth. "That was too much soy sauce, but I suppose I can survive that. I can survive anything. And I'm always handsome while I do it." He studied the room with a critical eye. "I certainly hope all these ugly girls won't try to make me fall for them. They're not anywhere near as angelic as I am. Not that anyone is, but still."
He sat down and glanced at Ike, who had followed him and sat down as well. "Oh, go away and find yourself some chicken, like you like."
Ike stood, shuffled over to the buffet, and, without waiting to be served, reached in with a hand and grabbed three large chicken legs which he popped in his mouth one by one. He gulped, swallowed, and returned to sit next to Marth.
"Hi. You're the new smashers aren't you," said a girl with a tight blue suit and blonde hair. "I'm Samus. What are your names?"
"I suggest you ask me politely," answered Marth, putting his chin in the air. "I'm a prince of the highest degree."
"Not me you aren't," she snapped. "Hey, big guy," she added, turning to Ike. "You're pretty cute. What's your name?"
Ike stared at her, blinked, and took a piece of chicken off her plate, swallowing it whole.
Samus' blue eyes opened wide in disgust and surprise. "What did you just do?" she gasped.
"Why he took a piece of chicken from your plate of course," answered Marth, polishing off the last few grains of rice with his chopsticks. "By the way, don't waste your time with Ike. He's stupid and has never learned to talk. I should be the one you would ever talk to because I am much more important and good looking. Ike! Come!"
Marth stood and turned on his heel in a whirl of blue cape, exiting the room. Ike shuffled behind and followed him out, but not before grabbing another chicken leg from the plate of a fox.
"How was your first day here, new smashers?" asked the Mario man, walking up to them that evening.
"I won my brawls," said Marth, folding his arms. "But that should be no surprise. Of course I won. Sadly, Ike gave me a bad name by losing once. All my friends should be as perfect as me. Or nearly so, that is. No one could be as perfect as me. And that dinosaur over there, I believe they dubbed him Bowser, is the weakest monster I have ever come in contact with. The fireballs did not hurt and I easily knocked him off the ledge. Besides which, he was very rude, daring to grab me in a crushing tackle. He should realize that no common person is allowed to even touch me unless I let them. And even so, they should kiss the hem of my cape before they leave to show their acknowledgment of my greatness."
Ike, beside Marth, was downing a hug glass of a malted milkshake and suddenly choked, spewing white shake all over the table.
Marth flinched and gave his friend a disgusted glance. "How dare you, Ike? You'll get me dirty!"
Ike was busy tilting his head back as far as it could go and trying to lick the last drops of malt from the glass with his tongue.
Mario, staring, turned and walked away to immediately engage the rest of the smashers who immediately engaged each other, pointing and whispering about the two new swordsmen.
"I can't stand being haughty all the time," said Marth that night, lying on his bed.
"And I won't make a fool of myself anymore," added Ike. "At least not tomorrow."
"Agreed. I will now be a very shy Marth and you will be a very angry Ike."
Ike grinned. "Smart idea."
The next morning, on the way to the cafeteria, Bowser stopped them in the hallway. "Listen you blue haired punk. I didn't like what you said to me the other day! So prepare to be roasted!"
Marth cringed. "I'm sorry, what?"
Ike shoved Bowser's nose with one hand and readied his sword, roaring, "What did you say to my friend? If you dare speak to him like that again, I'll smash you to smithereens and make sure no one finds your remains!"
Bowser, shocked, stared for a moment. Ike shoved him against the wall and stomped off and Marth, tossing Bowser a terrified and apologetic look, hurried after him.
Ike slammed open the doors to the cafeteria, causing the room to shake, and scooped up a pile of chicken legs with his plate, stalking with heavy steps over to the nearest table and sitting down so hard he cracked the bench.
Marth, giving the cafeteria lady a shy smile, held out his plate.
"Whatcha want?"
"Uh… Could I have some of that rice, please?"
"You want it with soy sauce?" she snapped.
"Um, whatever would be best for you, ma'am."
She stared at him, handed him the rice, and Marth, giving another quick smile, hurried over to sit beside Ike, hunching his shoulders and glancing all around at the other people in the room before flushing, giving them a small smile, and carefully eating his rice.
"Those guys are so weird!" exclaimed Samus.
"Who are you calling weird!" thundered Ike, hurling his plastic plate across the room and into the sink with deadly accuracy.
Samus' jaw dropped and she gave a man in a tight blue and yellow suit an incredulous look. "What is up with them, Captain Falcon?"
He shrugged.
"Be quiet!" shouted Ike, standing and stalking out of the room, slamming the door behind him.
"Uh, Ike?" queried Marth, quietly. He glanced around hastily, forced a quick smile, and ducked out of the room.
During brawls Ike was the man of the hour. Each time he won he would hurl his huge blade into the ground, fold his arms, and say, in a deadly voice, "You'll get no sympathy from me!"
Marth meanwhile seemed to have lost all skill in one day. Every hit he scored would bring on a terrified apology and his cries as he fell from the stage were heart rending.
"Well, Ike," said Captain Falcon that evening, "you were pretty impressive."
"What are you saying by that?" snapped Ike. "Are you being sarcastic? Huh? Well are you?" His voice was rising and Falcon backed away and left the room hurriedly.
"Uh, Ike, maybe you should calm down," Marth suggested in a small voice.
"Are you telling me what to do? Well are you?"
"Oh, no, not at all," he hastily assured his friend.
"Come on!"
Marth got up and followed him to their room. When the door was closed Ike sank down on his bed. "Besides that I'm totally going to have a sore throat from all that yelling, that was great fun."
"You said it," agreed Marth. "But I felt like a wimp."
"You were," chuckled Ike.
"Well, I'd rather be brave."
"How about I'm tired tomorrow, and you are an energetic bunny."
"Leave off the bunny part and that's a good idea," said Marth, grinning. "Night."
At breakfast Ike, moping in with half open eyes, didn't finish his oatmeal and knocked it off the table when his head dropped down onto his arms.
"How can you be asleep?" exclaimed Marth. "I'm so excited. We're totally going to have an awesome time brawling! I can't wait!"
Ike gave a grunt and didn't answer.
A lady in a pink dress and a blue ball with wings and a mask exchanged glances.
"Ready to brawl me?" asked Samus, folding her arms as she walked up to Ike.
"No," he muttered and gave an obnoxious yawn. "I wish I was in bed."
The swordsman's eyes remained half open the entire brawl. He half-heartedly swung his sword and ran at her even slower than normal. She rushed at him and he grabbed her and muttered, "If I was fighting that Peach girl with the pink dress she could make me fall asleep." Then he tossed Samus over his head.
She righted herself in midair and leapt at him, knocking him from the stage with her whip. There was only a yawn as he plummeted to his loss.
"I just don't get it!" she exclaimed, furious.
Marth seemed to be having loads of fun. "This is awesome! You're a great brawler!" he encouraged as he knocked Fox from the stage for the second time.
Fox gave a growl of anger as he respawned and landed on top of Marth, hurling him off the platform. Marth jumped up and grabbed the ledge, smiling eagerly up as the fox stood above him, ready to step on his hand.
"You're really good. This is exciting!" So saying, Marth jumped up, landed behind Fox, and kicked him off the stage yet again, ending the brawl.
"You are just wacky!" yelled Fox.
"I'm sorry. I just love doing brawls though. It's so great to use all my energy."
"Oh brother!" shouted Fox, throwing his head back. He exited the room and Marth raised his eyebrows and then grinned, dashing after him.
"I wonder who I'm fighting next! Do you know who you're fighting next? Isn't this great? I love it! Oh, hi, Ike."
The buff man had appeared, slumping in a chair, head hanging forward, eyes shut. He jerked back, smashing his head in the wall behind him. "What the… Hi, Marth." His eyes slowly shut and his chin sank forward onto his chest again.
"Get up, get up, get up!" cheered Marth. "You have more brawls! Come on! It'll be great! I can't wait to go do something!"
Ike knocked him back with a quick arm, heaved a sigh, and pushed himself up to his feet. Then he staggered after Marth, yawning again.
"That was super productive," said Ike, grinning. "Although admittedly, acting tired made me feel tired."
"And acting cheery and energetic made me tired as well," yawned Marth. "I wasted all that fake energy. Oh, brother." He gave a happy sigh and lay back on the bed. "I say tomorrow we should just be ourselves."
Ike folded his arms. "You quit too early, bro."
"I'm not completely shameless," snapped Marth. "I am well aware that how I am acting is absolutely ridiculous."
"Yeah," agreed Ike. "Okay. Tomorrow they'll be blown away."
"Maybe," said Marth. "Or they'll just think we're being weird again. Except a good weird."
"Well, everyone alive is some sort of good weird, so we'll be in a similar company."
Marth smiled. "See you in the morning, normal Ike."
"Good night, good/weird Marth."
I hoped you guys all enjoyed. I'm sorry if it was weird. But hey, it's funny, right? Maybe? Anyway, R&R and maybe PM. Thanks!