Just A Smile
Summary: Heero takes a stroll one day and finds a new purpose after the war.
Disclaimer: I don't own them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'm going for a walk," I announce quietly.
"It's cloudy out there," Duo tells me. As if I didn't know. "You should take your jacket
with you."
I take the jacket Quatre gave me from the closet. He always thinks of everything and
then provides it. Sometimes I still wonder what we would do without him. Maybe for once I'll
get lucky and not find out. I doubt it.
"Don't be too long," Quatre calls from the kitchen. "I don't want anyone to miss the
meal I'm making."
"Pick me up some take out, will you Heero?" Duo asks.
"No, he won't," Quatre retorts, coming to the door. He scowls at Duo. "Hey, this is my
first time cooking. You have to be supportive."
A slight smile settles haphazardly on my face as I turn away. The expression feels
strange, but it's a good kind of strange.
"Would you like some company," Trowa's quiet voice asks.
"No," I reply, a little more brusquely than I intended. I look him in the eye, trying to
explain without words.
Trowa gaze is full of understanding. Some of the tension in my muscles eases. It's nice
to have someone who understands.
"You have an hour and a half before dinner," he reminds me softly as he turns toward the
living room.
I nod as I turn away even though I know he isn't looking. Not that it matters. Trowa
seems to have a certain instinct about some things. At least, he does with me.
There is a slight wind when I walk outside. I zip my jacket up and head toward what
passes as downtown. This small city we're in is only big enough to have four streets that
make up downtown. That's one of the reasons we chose it.
There are a lot of people out today. I guess they want to stock up on supplies before the
rain isolates them in their houses. That's what Quatre has the Magunacs doing anyways.
But these are civilians so who knows.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm not invisible to them, the normal people. They pass me
without even glacing my way most of the time. And when they do glance at me it's only
with indifference.
You'd think I'd be pleased. After all, attention isn't something I want. I know better than
that. But sometimes ....
It doesn't matter. No matter how hard I try, I won't ever be normal. I'll never fit in
anywhere. I am a soldier, and that is all I can ever be. Sometimes I think it would have
been better if I had died. The world doesn't need something as useless as I am.
Suddenly I tense up. Someone is watching me. Moving very slowly I reach for the gun
hidden behind my coat and turn to the right. My hand touches cold metal as I meet the
sympathetic green eyes of a liitle girl. A little girl who reminds me of another I met years
ago, before Project Meteor.
She's wearing a blue and white dress and matching blue shoes. Her hair is black and her
eyes as green as a rainy meadow. A tall man with black hair stands next to her, talking on
a cell phone. He doesn't notice either one of us.
A car pulls up and her father settles her into the back seat. As it pulls away she turns to
look at me and smiles reassuringly. I find myself smiling back a little, but I don't know
why. Her eyes light up and it's almost like the sun has appeared. She's waves as they go
around a curve and I automatically lift my hand.
For a long moment I just stand there, gazing after her. Someone brushes by me and
mutters an apology. I straighten and shake my head. Turning, I pause to glance one last
time at where she disappeared. Then I head home.
"Heero," a voice calls quietly.
I turn to meet Wufei's gaze. He gestures for me to join him on his motorcycle. Why not?
I rest my hands on his waist lightly as I climb on. The warmth of his body seeps into my
chilled fingers.
"What are you thinking about," he inquires casually as he propells us forward.
"Nothing really," I reply. "Why are you here?"
"I had to get away from Maxwell and Winner," Wufei answers grimly. "They are still
arguing about what we will eat tonight."
I nod, understanding all too well what it must have been like. Wufei can't see it, but I
sense he knows. Maybe I'm not as good at hiding my emotions as I thought.
We pull into the driveway and head for the porch, walking side by side. I open the door
and let him pass, nodding to acknowledge his thanks.
Quatre's head appears in the kitchen doorway. "Oh good, you're both just in time. Wash
up so we can eat, will you?"
"Did you bring me anything to eat," Duo asks hopefully.
"Not a chance," Wufei retorts in a slightly superior tone. "Why would we?"
"You can't honestly expect me to eat that stuff," Duo whines.
"You will eat it," Quatre informs him, reappearing again.
"So, how was your walk," Trowa asks as he joins me at the end of the hall.
"Not bad," I answer. I see his nod and I can't help but feel glad that once again he
understands what I mean without an explanation.
"I rented some movies for after dinner," Quatre announces suddenly. He beams at us.
"The Three Musketeers, Cool Runnings, and Tombstone."
"You didn't get any comedy shows," Duo says, scowling. "Or any horror shows. Or ...."
"Quit whining, Maxwell," Wufei snaps irritably.
"I like those movies," Trowa tells Duo calmly.
They look at me, as if this were a vote. I shake my head and let my smile creep across my
face. My friends are ... interesting.
Glancing up, I see Quatre beaming happily. Duo is grumbling, but his ever present smile
seems wider somehow. Wufei continues bickering with him, but he glances my way with
a half grin. And Trowa just exchanges an amused glance with me before I turn.
Seeing their reactions, I guess it's no wonder I reacted the way I did earlier. A smile
seems to be worth more than I thought. Maybe I'll practice mine until I'm used to it.
Maybe. That is the only way to get good at it. I should know.
Once I practiced being a soldier and I got good at it. If I practice being normal I'll get
good at it, too. Very well. Mission accepted.
Summary: Heero takes a stroll one day and finds a new purpose after the war.
Disclaimer: I don't own them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'm going for a walk," I announce quietly.
"It's cloudy out there," Duo tells me. As if I didn't know. "You should take your jacket
with you."
I take the jacket Quatre gave me from the closet. He always thinks of everything and
then provides it. Sometimes I still wonder what we would do without him. Maybe for once I'll
get lucky and not find out. I doubt it.
"Don't be too long," Quatre calls from the kitchen. "I don't want anyone to miss the
meal I'm making."
"Pick me up some take out, will you Heero?" Duo asks.
"No, he won't," Quatre retorts, coming to the door. He scowls at Duo. "Hey, this is my
first time cooking. You have to be supportive."
A slight smile settles haphazardly on my face as I turn away. The expression feels
strange, but it's a good kind of strange.
"Would you like some company," Trowa's quiet voice asks.
"No," I reply, a little more brusquely than I intended. I look him in the eye, trying to
explain without words.
Trowa gaze is full of understanding. Some of the tension in my muscles eases. It's nice
to have someone who understands.
"You have an hour and a half before dinner," he reminds me softly as he turns toward the
living room.
I nod as I turn away even though I know he isn't looking. Not that it matters. Trowa
seems to have a certain instinct about some things. At least, he does with me.
There is a slight wind when I walk outside. I zip my jacket up and head toward what
passes as downtown. This small city we're in is only big enough to have four streets that
make up downtown. That's one of the reasons we chose it.
There are a lot of people out today. I guess they want to stock up on supplies before the
rain isolates them in their houses. That's what Quatre has the Magunacs doing anyways.
But these are civilians so who knows.
Sometimes I wonder if I'm not invisible to them, the normal people. They pass me
without even glacing my way most of the time. And when they do glance at me it's only
with indifference.
You'd think I'd be pleased. After all, attention isn't something I want. I know better than
that. But sometimes ....
It doesn't matter. No matter how hard I try, I won't ever be normal. I'll never fit in
anywhere. I am a soldier, and that is all I can ever be. Sometimes I think it would have
been better if I had died. The world doesn't need something as useless as I am.
Suddenly I tense up. Someone is watching me. Moving very slowly I reach for the gun
hidden behind my coat and turn to the right. My hand touches cold metal as I meet the
sympathetic green eyes of a liitle girl. A little girl who reminds me of another I met years
ago, before Project Meteor.
She's wearing a blue and white dress and matching blue shoes. Her hair is black and her
eyes as green as a rainy meadow. A tall man with black hair stands next to her, talking on
a cell phone. He doesn't notice either one of us.
A car pulls up and her father settles her into the back seat. As it pulls away she turns to
look at me and smiles reassuringly. I find myself smiling back a little, but I don't know
why. Her eyes light up and it's almost like the sun has appeared. She's waves as they go
around a curve and I automatically lift my hand.
For a long moment I just stand there, gazing after her. Someone brushes by me and
mutters an apology. I straighten and shake my head. Turning, I pause to glance one last
time at where she disappeared. Then I head home.
"Heero," a voice calls quietly.
I turn to meet Wufei's gaze. He gestures for me to join him on his motorcycle. Why not?
I rest my hands on his waist lightly as I climb on. The warmth of his body seeps into my
chilled fingers.
"What are you thinking about," he inquires casually as he propells us forward.
"Nothing really," I reply. "Why are you here?"
"I had to get away from Maxwell and Winner," Wufei answers grimly. "They are still
arguing about what we will eat tonight."
I nod, understanding all too well what it must have been like. Wufei can't see it, but I
sense he knows. Maybe I'm not as good at hiding my emotions as I thought.
We pull into the driveway and head for the porch, walking side by side. I open the door
and let him pass, nodding to acknowledge his thanks.
Quatre's head appears in the kitchen doorway. "Oh good, you're both just in time. Wash
up so we can eat, will you?"
"Did you bring me anything to eat," Duo asks hopefully.
"Not a chance," Wufei retorts in a slightly superior tone. "Why would we?"
"You can't honestly expect me to eat that stuff," Duo whines.
"You will eat it," Quatre informs him, reappearing again.
"So, how was your walk," Trowa asks as he joins me at the end of the hall.
"Not bad," I answer. I see his nod and I can't help but feel glad that once again he
understands what I mean without an explanation.
"I rented some movies for after dinner," Quatre announces suddenly. He beams at us.
"The Three Musketeers, Cool Runnings, and Tombstone."
"You didn't get any comedy shows," Duo says, scowling. "Or any horror shows. Or ...."
"Quit whining, Maxwell," Wufei snaps irritably.
"I like those movies," Trowa tells Duo calmly.
They look at me, as if this were a vote. I shake my head and let my smile creep across my
face. My friends are ... interesting.
Glancing up, I see Quatre beaming happily. Duo is grumbling, but his ever present smile
seems wider somehow. Wufei continues bickering with him, but he glances my way with
a half grin. And Trowa just exchanges an amused glance with me before I turn.
Seeing their reactions, I guess it's no wonder I reacted the way I did earlier. A smile
seems to be worth more than I thought. Maybe I'll practice mine until I'm used to it.
Maybe. That is the only way to get good at it. I should know.
Once I practiced being a soldier and I got good at it. If I practice being normal I'll get
good at it, too. Very well. Mission accepted.