Anon has been planning this for a long time. He was going to invoke his necrophilia fetish and fuck the bullet wounds of all the high school girls. Anon ran into the cafeteria with Eric Harris, Dylan Klebold and Adam Lanza all dressed as the four teletubbies. The purple teletubby channeled his spirit energy into the tip of his right index finger and yelled "SPIRIT GUN!" A blast of spirit energy killed Big Macintosh.
"ANON'S GOT A GUN!"
"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"
The red teletubby started using his DDR moves to jump around and shoot children with his multi-automatic AR-Child Dozer Mach 7. The yellow and green teletubbies started wrestling the Undertaker, who teleported here from the WWE championship to stop evil. The purple teletubby raped Big Macintosh's wound while his Billy Mays tulpa manifested itself and threw cocaine at random kids. The baby sun watched in the distance, only it was now a teenage sun who was an emo goth kid. The sun played his ipod loud enough for the sound waves to destroy the planet, killing everyone because the sun was such an emo. All was right in the universe.