Authors' Note:

Spartan: Hey there and welcome to the writings of my cohort Spectre and I

Spectre: After witnessing the spectacle that is the bitter contension between the Mass Effect (My fave)...

Spartan: And the Halo universe, (My fave). We decided to bring that horrible and bloody war to an end. Spectre?

Spectre: We decided to bring the two universes together by mixing the characters and locations you know and love and giving you a glimpse of what this brand new universe would look like.

Spartan: Now, it's important for readers to understand that these events are completely separate from both universe's timelines. As such, characters who have passed away like...*glances at Spectre* well...a beloved Salarian scientist are still alive.

Spectre: *SOB*

Spartan: Yeah better not to mention him around her. Anyway, I hope you enjoy this random bit of nonsense.

Spectre: And if you like what you read, leave us a comment!

Both: Spartan and Spectre, out.

***********************************************EDIT 2018!**************************************************************

Spectre: Quick Update everyone! Thank you so much to those who have favorited or followed our endeavors, I know it's been a while since we did anything with these. We have begun to edit our outlines to reflect a story-like layout. Our plan is to consolidate the stories we have written into one document and then add on new stories as chapters to said document. I hope you all enjoy them as much as we enjoy doing them.
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*Neither Spectre nor Spartan own any of the characters, vehicles or locations shown in this fic...though they sorely wish they did. Rights go to EA and 343industries*

MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE

(Normandy War Room)

Commander Shepard entered the war room and took a deep breath. This was the first Alliance/U.N.S.C joint taskforce mission to actually make it this far. It had to go well, especially because she was given the command of the first operation, and she wanted the Normandy crew to make a good impression.

No pressure.

"Alright. Specs are in. Let's go people."

The console lit up at Shepard's approach and a display of the mission location appeared. Both Cortana and EDI attempted to appear on the same display screen and pixelated into each other, making the lights in the war room flash. EDI's voice sounded over the com-link.

"My apologies - allow me to.."

"No," Cortana interrupted. "It's me...I'll just.."

As they both attempt to adjust, the entire console blacks out and the lights in the war room dim.

"Alright!" Shepard said. "EDI, just use your body. Please."

"Yes, Shepard"

The door at the far side of the room slid open and both Master Chief and Vega went to walk through it at the same time, but their shoulders hit the door frame with a resounding thud.

"My bad, big guy." Vega says. With a nod, Master Chief backs away and let's Vega go first. Shepard looked around in exasperation, a gnawing feeling that this mission was not going to pan out.

"Where's Tali?" She asked. "I thought she..."

"She's at the bar with Lasky." Vega said with a smirk. Shepard raised an eyebrow in disbelief.

"The bar?"

Arbiter entered the room and stood beside the Master Chief, staring at the blank screen before him and poking at it, trying to get it to work. Shepard pressed the com button.

"Tali! Captain Lasky! Report!"

The intercom clicks and Lasky's slurred voice is heard.

"Eyyyy...Shepard. Sumthin' happen?"

"Shepard?" Tali joins in. *hic* "What is it?"

Arbiter began to poke aggressively at the screen in front of him, his mandibles widening in anger until the Chief grabbed his arm and activated it for him.
Shepard pinched the bridge of her nose and pressed the intercom again.

"Tali, Lasky...would you join us in the war room please?"

"Sure Shepard...*hic*" Lasky replied. Shepard sighed. The door slid open again, Wrex and Palmer were arguing about Grunts.

"They are about as menacing as a small child throwing a temper tantrum.."Wrex growled. "Just kick 'em."

"You say that now. Wait until one of them is carrying two grenades and it's running at you. Then what would you do?" Palmer retorted.

"Guys.." Shepard interjected. "Please. Let's file in."

As if on cue, Lasky and Tali stumbled in, dragging Dr. Glassman along with them.

"What the hell.." Vega watched as their drunk compatriots stumbled down the steps.

Tali aggressively shushed him. "Don't talk so loud, bosht'et. My head hurts.."

Finally, Shepard's panel lit up and she lets out a sound of relief.

"There we go. Now, if you'll all bring your attention to.."

Tali launched herself onto the panel to avoid collapsing onto the ground, bumping into Glassman and sending him to the floor. Just at that moment, Garrus walked in with a datapad in hand, not looking where he was going.

"I'm sorry I'm late Shepard, I was pulling...ah!" He tripped over the prone form of Glassman and clung to Wrex to steady himself.

"Please, not in front of the Commander." Wrex protested in a ironically monotone voice.

"Joker! Take us to Illium, now!" Shepard barked. A female voice shot back the smooth response,

"That's affirmative.."

Shepard frowned.

"What the..."

"I've got it Shepard!" Joker chimed in. "Ignore this imposter."

The warm voice over the intercom got a harsh edge as Foehammer's voice echoed out of the speakers.

"Boy, I could teach you a thing or two!"

Meanwhile the Master Chief had bent down to help pull Garrus off the floor. The unfortunate Turian had landed unceremoniously upon his datapad, which had shattered upon impact. He accepted the chief's help but could not hide his frustration as he went over to Shepard, muttering to himself, his mandibles flaring in frustration. The elegant young Asari Liara entered the war room, nervously aware of her tardiness.

"Sorry I'm late commander." She meekly said. She immediately saw the prone Professor Glassman on the floor and rushed to help him up. Biotics being her strength she attempted to lift him away from the press of U.N.S.C and Alliance soldiers. Unfortunately his foot swung around and kicked Sgt. Avery Johnson in the face, effectively smashing his cigar flat and dropping the human professor.

Liara covered her mouth in horror. "Oh I am so sorry." Not sure which human she felt worse for.

The war grizzled Sergeant merely looked at his pulverized cigar and sighed.

"Another casualty of war." He growled.

Shepard meanwhile had almost folded in half over the console in frustration.

"Guys," She said. "So help me..."

Suddenly the cool voice of Cortana cut across the room as she appeared on the display, hand on hip.

"Who programmed this ship's network?"

The Chief sharply turned to Cortana, and raised a hand to pacify her.

"Not now, Cortana." He said shortly.

EDI, now in her body, walked over to Cortana's hologram.

She tilted her head and asked, in a mild voice, "What at you implying?"

Ignoring the Chief's look, Cortana raised an arched eyebrow and opened her mouth to retort when the seven foot Spartan pulled her chip from the console and firmly rammed it into his helmet with what could only be described as frustration.

This sudden action had startled everyone in the room into silence. Commander Shepard breathed a sigh of relief.

"Okay, now that everyone is quiet..." She began.

Suddenly the Chief flinched as if in pain and slapped at his helmet, signaling that he and Cortana were having an argument. Lasky went over to chief and grabbed his arm.

"Hey Chief, whatsa matter? Hic" He managed to say coherently.

He was spun around suddenly by Tali who grabbed his arm and yanked him past Shepard to gaze, wide eyed, at the galatic display, pushing Shepard off balance in their rush.

"Tom! Come here... look at this VIEW!"

Shepard let out a frustrated noise and grabbed Tali and Lasky by their shoulders, trying to make them sit down.

Joker's worried voice came over the intercom. "Shepard, is everything okay down there?"

Vega, throwing up his hands in defeat and laughing yelled up to the ceiling, "Run, Joker! Just leave and don't look back!"

Foehammer cut over Joker's channel again.

"Hey Vega...if you go, I'll go too sugar."

"Lead the way, beautiful." He replied.

Shepard, hearing this conversation, whipped around like an overworked single mom and snapped at him. "James Vega! Garrus, would you mind?"

Garrus stopped Vega from leaving, and tried vainly to instill a sense of order into the room by quieting everyone around him. Meanwhile, EDI, who had been silently contemplating Cortana's comment, turned again to the chief and said "If there is any 'possibility' my network is flawed, please show me my mistakes."

The chief froze like a statue and looked at EDI in an unspoken "what have you done" and then began to fight with Cortana again, smacking his helmet and stumbling backwards over the prone form of Glassman, who had just begun to awake. The doctor let out a plaintive moan.

"You think you've got problems, what about my cigar?" Johnson said pointedly at the prone scientist. "Darn eggheads, too soft, they don't know the real tragedies of war."

Shepard desperately tried to push past Tali to the console to no avail so she cupped her hands and shouted over to her A.I.

"EDI, emergency protocol!"

"I'm sorry, Shepard..." She cooly replied. "My network may be "unreliable"

"Edi, I swear to God!"

The Master Chief pulled Cortana's chip out and held it in his hand, it was flashing blue angrily. "We need to regroup Shepard..."

"You think?" Shepard drily said.

Mordin entered the war room and then stopped in the doorway. With a blank face he watched the chaos quickly swelling in the room, as arguments began to break out. Wrex's face appeared out of the din and mouthed "Run" before disappearing again. The Master Chief shook his head disapprovingly, viewing the disarray before him.

"Here" He said. "Take one of mine." In his hand he held a spare helmet that seemed to have appeared from nowhere and handed it to Shepard.

Shepard eyed him confusedly, partly disturbed by the mystery helmet.

"Why?"

The Chief pointed at the chaos in front of them. Shepard looked as Lasky and Tali stumbled around trying to waltz, knocking into everyone. Liara kept trying to fix Johnson's cigar much to his disapproval, EDI was frantically running diagnostics, and Garrus looked around dumbfounded as Mordin was trying to quietly shush Arbiter and Wrex who were getting into a feud.

"Trust me." The chief assured her.

With a shrug, Shepard pulled on the Chief's spare helmet, looking around. Suddenly, a red gas started to flood the rom. One by one, people slowly collapsed, the floor littered with immobile bodies. Master Chief put Cortana back into the console.

"What is that?" Shepard asked.

"I made some friends down in engineering."

"Oh...wait...is this ship-wide?"

Chief consulted silently over the comms with whoever was down in engineering. "Affirmative."

"Then..." Shepard began.

Cortana whipped around to look at the Chief. "Who is flying the ship?"

Authors' Close:

Spectre: Wow. Just. Wow.

Spartan: I just want to know...where did the spare helmet come from?

Spectre: And in case you were wondering how this ends... even we don't know. But, if we get a glimpse into this alternate universe and find out, we'll let you know.

Spartan: Some, but not all of our fics will end on cliff hangars. Kinda like Sunday morning cartoons...*notices weird look from Spectre* Not that I watch cartoons...

Spectre: Thank you for embarking on this journey with us! If you have anything you want to say, or perhaps an idea for another situation to throw our intrepid heroes in, let us know!

Both: Spartan and Spectre, out.