A/N: Don't own anything, etc. etc. You know the drill.

I, Chad Dylan Cooper, have the perfect life. I mean, look at me. I've had my own TV show since I was 12, I have millions of adoring fans, and let's face it – I'm pretty sexy too. And to top it all off, I have the Randoms, so I have someone to gloat over it to. What's not perfect about that? I can only think of one thing that could make my life better, or shall we say more perfect.

It's that new girl that joined the Randoms. She's pushing their ratings up dangerously close to MacKenzie Falls. Wouldn't it be a shame if she suddenly decided to just… leave? But I'm working on that. If she hasn't gone within the season then I'm not as good as I think I am.

We were on the third take of the scene. Something to do with Portlyn and lack of emotion or something, I don't know what, but this time it was going really well. We'd gotten further than the directors had previously let us. In fact, we were almost to the end of the scene. I was pretty bored. I'd been through it three times now, and if we didn't wrap it soon, I'd have to do something drastic. I was so bored, that I'd stopped thinking about the script. Yeah, it's nice and all, but I could ad-lib with the best of them, and some variation was definitely the trick to keep Portlyn in this strong emotional mood.

Which is why I almost didn't notice when the next line – "What's the matter with you?" – didn't come from Portlyn. That was distinctly not part of the script, and while I could ad-lib just fine, Portlyn was not so good at it. She was taking the script in completely the wrong direction.

"What's the matter with me? What's the matter with -" I started, intending to tell her off for ruining yet another take. "Those words didn't come out of your mouth." The director called "Cut!" from off-stage and I barely kept from rolling my eyes. The lights came up and I turned around looking for the source of the disturbance. It was the new Random. Great.

"We're sort of in the middle of a shoot here," I said. Maybe, being a Random and not from the business, she didn't recognize that fact.

"And now you're sort of taking a break." Judging from the look on her face, she knew exactly what we'd been doing and didn't care. "Portlyn, you've got great legs, let's see how they move."

What? I thought. Who does she think she is? This is my set, and I control things around here. Trying desperately to salvage the situation, I called after Portlyn, "Stay sad, Sweetie." She'd take the "Sweetie" way out of context, but that was ok. I don't mind having her lust after me. They all do it anyways. Turning around, I tried to take control.

"What is your problem?" I asked, doing my best to look both hurt and aggressive at the same time. I'm pretty sure aggressive won.

"What's my problem? My problem is that everything my friends, and Tawni, told me about you guys is true. You MacKenzie Falls people are jerks!" she accused. I stopped listening about there. The crew were changing the scene around us, and if I remembered correctly the next scene we were shooting was the date Portlyn and I had the night before I tried to dump her. It was in a park and it was dark… the perfect setting to make her swoon so much she'd forget all about why she was there. I could make her fall for me, no problem, and then when I told her I didn't love her, she'd be so devastated she'd leave. All I had to do was keep her talking until they got it set. I tuned back in to "the head ambassador of Jerkoslovakia," and almost laughed.

"You saw the egg salad video," I said, quite proud, "Yeah, I also direct."

"We were trying to make peace." She sounded almost hurt.

"Ugh. Please, you were trying to trap us," I said, ignoring that little bit of pain I felt. Maybe she'd thought it was making peace, but there's no way the rest of the Randoms were in on it. They'd probably laced her precious egg salad with laxative or something.

"Trap you? You've obviously been watching your show too much. You know not everything is cutthroat and gossipy? Sometimes people do things just to be nice."

"Do they, Sonny?" I asked. I hated using her name, but I knew there was no other way to get her to fall for me, "Do they really?" The set was almost ready. I timed it just so, and the lights went down just as I finished this last. Alright, here's your chance, I told myself, just like with Portlyn, just another ad-lib. She was looking straight into my eyes, and I knew I had her.

"Look," I said, jumping into a monologue, "it was sweet of you to put that picnic together. Way sweet." I set aside my revulsion for all Randoms and stepped forward, cupping her elbow in my hand. I smiled my most sincere and took a breath. "But the bad blood between our two shows has run too deep for too long to be healed by a bowl of egg salad and even the best intentions." I did my best to look like I was sad about this. Her face had glazed over and I knew I had her under my spell.

"Just because you wish for something, doesn't make it so," I said, taking her hand in both of mine. Most girls would die for the treatment she was getting. She was certainly lapping it up. She'd be gone by tomorrow.

"Oh Chad Dylan-" she started. I could tell she was going to try to shake it off, so I stopped her.

"Shh- Time for talking's over." I put a finger over her mouth to make sure of it. She seemed the type to keep prattling on forever if you don't stop them. "I must go." I started backing away. "So run. Run back to your show. Put your sweet little dreams of peace to bed." I let go of her hand slowly, a little afraid that she'd just fall over without me holding onto it, supporting her. Yeah, I have that effect on girls. I turned away and only just barely kept myself from punching the air in excitement. This was going to be easier than I thought.

A/N: Hello again! It has been a really, really long time. I'm sorry about that, but I kind of had things going on, like going on exchange and school and stuff. But, the other day I was going through my old documents on the computer and I found this little idea. I know so far it's just a rewrite of an episode from Chad's POV, but I promise it'll be more than that. In fact, I've already practically got the next chapter finished, I just wanted to get something posted so I could get some feedback. And speaking of feedback, I'm not much a fan of the title. Anyone have any better ideas?

If you read my last story you may remember, I asked at the end of the last one I asked which story people would like to see next. For those who picked "Punch in the Face," it will probably be incorporated into this one. Those of you that asked for "Suffering in Silence," it may be a little while. Sorry, but I really don't remember what I was going to write for that one. Sorry.

Anyways, thanks for reading, have a nice day, and please review on your way out.