The first thing Harley experienced upon waking was the taste of some very questionable alcohol in her mouth and a throbbing ache in her chest.
Feeling the soft brush of hair against her cheek, she blew it away from her face as she groaned lightly as the pain continued, "Geez, Red. I love it when ya rough an' all but yikes. My chest is killin' me."
"Please tell me I did not get drunk enough to miss lesbian shenanigans."
That was not Reds' voice.
Her eyes shooting open, Harley sat up immediately and was confronted by an amused looking Selina standing in front of her fallen body.
"Kitty!"
At her sudden movement, a feeling of post-alcohol nausea hit her and the faint memories of the previous night flashed through her mind like frantic snapshots.
Her quiet night in the Iceberg Lounge with Red had slowly dissolved into chaos as they had been steadily joined by more and more of their fellow rogues as the night progressed. First Selina had appeared with a bottle of red wine in her hand and enough gossip to keep them busy over the next hour. Then came Nygma who invited himself to their table without any shame and he was quickly followed by Dent who was looking to blow off some steam in the Lounge and, in a rare act of sociability, did not want to sit alone for once.
She vaguely recalled Crane slinking into the end of one booth and joining them without asking but exactly at what point, she was not sure. Ozzie had a strict policy of allowing the rogues to drink what they wished while they were within his Lounge in exchange for a ten percent cut of their next heist.
Selina grinned as she watched Harley struggle to recall the previous evening, "You doing okay there Harls? What's the last thing you remember?"
A look of confusion crossed the blondes face, "We were sitting in the corner booth and Dent was carrying a tray of something which looked pretty but tasted like bleach." She stuck her tongue out in distaste. "And then I remember Red trying to poison Mistah E for something and I had to talk her outta it. Then I think I saw you making a new kinda cocktail for us all ta try. After that, nothin'," she paused, "but I have a really sore boob this morning."
Looking behind her in a new panic, Harley realised that she was in fact definitely lying next to Pammy and her relief was palpable. If it were anyone else, she would be in some very hot water.
"Is it the entire boob? Or just the nipple?" Selina inquired, voice oddly light.
Harley nodded in response.
Slumping into a less dignified position, Selina sighed deeply, "Same here. I think we may all have done something rather stupid last night if the blood on Dents' shirt is anything to go by."
Following Selinas' gaze, Harley was surprised to see the floor around her littered with the bodies of the three men who had also joined them for their night. Focussing on Dent, she noticed two very small patches of blood on the shirt right above where both nipples should be.
Instinctively, bringing her hand up to her own chest, she felt the pain in her right nipple increase as she brushed it.
There was something hard through it.
"Uhh…Kitty…did we all…" She began tentatively.
Selinas' amusement was clear despite the pain in her own chest, "I think so but there is only one way to be certain."
Standing fully again, she cleared her throat before clapping her hands together and yelling at an offensively shrill pitch, "ALL RIGHT LADIES AND GENTLEMEN! LETS GET THIS SHOW ON THE ROAD! RISE AND SHINE CHILDREN! ITS BRING YOUR TIT TO WORK DAY!"
At the sudden noise, both Edward and Ivy shot up like they had been doused with cold water as they attempted to locate the source of the yelling. Crane cranked open one bloodshot eye before rubbing at his forehead with a hand to encourage his headache away. Dent simple muttered a faint 'fuck off' and rolled onto his other side.
The action was interrupted however as he scraped his chest off the hard wood flooring at let out a soft yelp, sitting up in the process.
Taking charge, Selina waited until the protests of the awakened had died down and all five sets of eyes were on her with various looks of pain and suspicion, "I get that we are all hungover and that some of us may have overindulged last night," she glanced at Edward who looked positively ill, "but we have a small matter which I think affects us all."
Ivy looked a little ill as she confessed, "Selina, why do I have a sore chest and vague memories of us all agreeing to get a piercing each as a sign of our solidarity as criminals."
"Of course this would be your idea," Edward rolled his eyes, "Pamela, yet again coming out with the top-notch plans and costing us all blood."
"I'm not too hungover to kill you, you worthless meat bag." Ivy hissed as she went to stand and fight the insolent man.
She would never be too ill to fight Edward Nygma.
Pulling her back to the floor gently, Harley linked their hands and placed her head on Ivys' shoulder.
"So," Harleys' cheerful voice held a hint of mischief and it caused the room to still as they waited for her to finish, "are we gonna play show and tell?"
Pulling the low neckline of her dress to one side, Selina unashamedly displayed her breast to the room.
"Now I don't know about you guys, but when I left my apartment yesterday this," she gestured to the small bar which was impaled through her nipple, "was not here." The bar had small black triangles at either side which gave the impression of cat ears and while she was experiencing quite a decent amount of pain, she did appreciate her loyalty to her aesthetic even when she was blind drunk.
Clicking her fingers to get the attention of Dent and Edward who were staring at her nipple with glazed expressions, she tucked her breast away again.
"Dent," she called out, drawing the attention to him, "open your shirt."
Knowing that the small patches of blood had already betrayed him, Dent sighed in exasperation as he slowly started to unbutton his shirt. His hands shook with the after-effects of his night of drinking so it took longer than it should have. When the final button was free, a wolf-whistle from Ivy caused a few giggles in the room as his exposed chest came to view.
His scarring on his left side was apparent and the end flecks of it stopped just below his now freshly-pierced nipple. The small black half-moon which protruded from the nipple was not what was causing a few raised eyebrows in the room but the small silver chain which loosely connected it to the white half-moon which was impaled on the other nipple, was a little different from the norm.
"Always with the duality, Harvey." Ivy laughed as she stared openly at the mildly embarrassed man.
Selina shrugged her shoulders and came to his defense, "I dunno, Ivy, I think it's kinda hot. Think of what you could do with that chain."
Glaring at the pair of them, Harvey quick re-buttoned the shirt before crossing his arms carefully across his chest in a defensive manner.
"What about you? You going to get yours out too, bitch?" He growled, highly irritated.
Huffing, Ivy shook her head, "As if I would give any of you a free show."
"Aww c'mon Red! Fairs fair!"
Following Selinas' example, Harley unzipped the front of her costume and quickly extracted her pained breast. Glancing down at it she cooed suddenly, "Aww look Red! I think i got a design for you!"
Unlike the others, Harleys' bar was vertical and the top showed a small red rose while the protruding bar at the bottom was shaped into a small stem with tiny thorns.
Realising that all eyes were on her, Ivy rolled her eyes and pulled aside the leaves which were preserving her modesty. Similarly to Harley, she had gotten a bar which reflected her partner. Her bar had a red and black swirled design which was very simple but also incredibly pretty as it stood out against her greenish skin.
"How romantic." Crane drawled as he gazed with disinterest at the joint display. "Next you'll be telling me Nygma has one dedicated to his one true love, himself."
Knowing it was his turn for humiliation and that the best way to avoid it was to get it over with quickly, Edward shrugged out of his suit jacket and unbuttoned the top few buttons of his shirt. Spreading it open, his pale, toned torso was bared to the room and a sharp bark of laughter emitted from the seated scientist.
"Truly amazing."
Flushing angrily as Crane mocked him, Edward glanced at his own question mark shaped piercing with a betrayed look.
"At least my piercing will live to be appreciated by others, Crane. When was the last time someone caught sight of that ghastly skeletal frame of yours?"
"Yeah, Doctah Crane! You're the last one up for show n' tell!" Harley cried as everyone turned their attention to the remaining rogue.
"I am sorry to disappoint you all but I have no piercing." Crane announced smugly.
Harvey scowled, "Bullshit."
"Want to place a bet on that?" Crane challenged, "Any of you?"
Sighing, Selina flexed her hands, "Just get it out, Jon, or we will do it for you."
"Don't threaten me, child," he hissed but slowly started to unbutton as little as he thought he could get away with, "i am feeling too fragile at the moment to keep my temper at bay."
"Enough with the dramatics," Edward called out dramatically, "it is your turn for the ritual humiliation."
Staring at Selina with a blank expression, Crane pulled his shirt to the side, exposing his non-pierced nipple to the room before swapping sides and showing them the other.
Nothing.
The disappointment in the room was obvious as a series of sighs and tuts filled the air.
"Silly children, did you honestly think that I would do such a foolish thing?" Grinning victoriously and hiding his surprise that he had not actually participated in the act, he finally made an attempt to leave the floor making sure to ignore the bitter looks being sent his way.
Standing quickly, he had barely started to straighten up when a terrible pain made itself known on a very delicate part of his anatomy and the sheer unexpectedness of it caused him to gasp loudly and place a hand gently across his crotch as a terrible knowledge hit him.
Five pairs of eyes exchanged quick looks, shot to Cranes' pained expression and finally settled on his hand-covered crotch.
Understanding hit the room like a lighting bolt.
"Well, well, well…" Edward offered, trying desperately to keep in the laughter that was attempting to escape him, "Jonathan Crane, you little minx."
"Ya just had to go one extra didn't ya, Doctah Crane? Wasn't enough ta just get a nipple done like the rest of us?" Harley winked and that wink was all everyone needed to let loose.
The laughter that erupted from the room was so loud and exuberant that four floors down in the main hall of the Iceberg Lounge those who had gathered to enjoy a peaceful breakfast in the legendary establishment all collectively turned their heads to the ceiling in surprise.
In his own hidden room behind the bar, Oswald Cobblepot could only sigh and hope that whatever had just happened within his precious home would not be expensive to fix.