Teddy/Lily inspired by the Against The Current song Infinity.
For Izzy, she of unrivalled love for the written word.
Infinity
All along it's been a race against the clock
Time won't wait, we're gonna leave
Somewhere we'll find infinity
It isn't supposed to be this way; they aren't supposed to be lying in his bed together, all tangled up in his crisp cotton sheets, losing themselves in each other and everything they can be and will be. He isn't supposed to breathe in the lavender scent of her hair as if it's his drug; she's not supposed to curl up with her godbrother like that; and yet they'll let nothing stand in their way.
It feels so wrong; yet in spite of that—or maybe even because of that—it feels so right.
"Teddy," breathes Lily; it's the first word uttered by either of them that evening that's actually coherent English, not muffled or suppressed or just simply left unsaid; and in that moment, she brings him crashing back to right here and right now. He feels her soft, tender hand drift across and come to rest on his cheek, ever so gently, as if to ascertain if he's really there with her.
"Mm?"
She laughs softly; not her usual laugh of humour but a huskier, smokier laugh; just hearing it hits him dead centre in the solar plexus; it makes his heartbeat start to race and his thoughts and desires pick up pace. "I've waited for this for a long time."
"I know," he says gently, and he means it. He's seen her grow up in front of him, after all, and now the eighteen-year-old Auror trainee is just inches away from his beating heart and he can hardly keep his hands to himself now she's no longer the teeny little Lily Nymphadora Potter he helped raise; she's now the young adult Lily ready to take on the rest of the world. Gone are the thoughts of she's too young and she's Harry's daughter and what would the rest of the family think; they're replaced by the late nights and dinner dates and all the beautifully quiet hours spent curled up with books and coffee in his flat's little study and all the growly, sweaty hours in his bedroom of oh yeah and right there and fuck yes.
She idly glances over at him, her green eyes clear as the starry night sky out the window. "It's always been you, Teddy."
"It's always been you too, Lily."
She snorts softly, skeptical but not quite disbelieving. "What about Vic?"
"I thought it was her," he admits, sighing at the mistakes he's made; but at the same time, it's okay because it's the mistakes he's made that've shaped him, right? "I was wrong, but we can hardly dwell on the past."
"I knew it was you that night we played truth or dare with the cousins."
"Christmas, your fourth year?"
"Yeah," she says with a wistful smile, "but if we'd known then, we'd still've had to wait 'til I was legal to do this." Lily laughs again; it's that smoky, husky laugh and damn it makes him want to do things to—no, with—her because he'd done his waiting, five years of it.
"It's been worth the wait," he says softly, earnestly; and with that, he loses control and loses himself in her in a whirlwind of harder and faster and right there and fuck yeah; making his precious godsister, the love of his entire sorry existence make noises he never dared imagine she might one day make feels so wrong and yet so goddamn right; the night goes on and on and on and Teddy swears he's about to lose his mind as they grind and growl and grunt their way to infinity.
He loses track of time but time doesn't matter because deep down inside him he knows that this is only the beginning, that something that feels so right will work out in the end; and though no magic in the world could ever shrink those nine damn years of age gap, they still have the future to look forward to: in the face of all the weeks and months and years to come, the next few hours aren't too much of a worry.
The next morning is a glorious one but they don't wake up in time to see it; it's nearly midday when she finally stirs and he's still sprawled underneath his enormously fluffy quilt; it's so cute how he's just there and won't be up for at least another hour.
For both of them, time together on days off couldn't be more precious; he's already climbing up the ranks of the Obliviators and she's already being fast-tracked through Harry's Auror program; their lives are like a long-exposure photograph taken at night, blurry with motion as they race up their respective ladders.
For once, the stars align and they both have the whole weekend off; and Lily would rather throw herself off the top of the Astronomy Tower than waste an opportunity like this. She slips into the shower to take a hot, refreshing shower; she dawdles in there, thinking about how she could do this forever, how the two of them could just keep running towards whatever infinity they were chasing.
She fixes herself a fresh batch of coffee with milk and sugar and picks a book off their bookshelf; it's a Muggle paperback, but that just makes it that little bit more enjoyable to read. She loses herself between the lines and pages and chapters, flicking through a story she's read a dozen times, sipping her coffee and appreciating a rare moment of silence.
Eventually, he stirs. "Lily," he finally manages to groan, "what time is it?"
She snaps the paperback shut. "Half past twelve."
His hair flames Weasley red. "Bloody hell, we've got half an hour to get to the Burrow."
Lily snorts softly. "You lazy sod," she huffs without heat, "go have a shower and get dressed. We'll make it on time." It's only been a few short weeks since they took the plunge but she's known him forever and there's just this familiarity and so it's okay to snark here and there; it's what makes them them.
He merely grunts as he staggers into the bathroom.
Sunday lunch is an almost sacred institution in the sprawling Potter-Weasley clan, a weekly ritual of food and food and food and maybe some pudding too. The 'kids'—the parents still call them that even though they're not kids anymore, not even Lily—sprawl across the living room and they've managed to rival a riot in London.
Seconds before one o'clock, Teddy pushes the Burrow's back door open to reveal himself and Lily on the threshold.
"Hey," says Lily to everyone in the living room, breathless from the rush down from his London flat.
"Wotcher." Teddy still loves using his late mother's signature greeting, because it's so her and so it's become part of his identity with the family; in the years gone by they'd often tried to trace which part of him came from where—which bit came from his mother, which bit came from his father, which bit came from Harry—but in the end to Teddy it doesn't really matter because all that really matters to him is right here and right now.
They bury themselves in easy conversation about this and that but there's a tension under the surface, underneath the glances at her he deftly steals when she's talking to Hugo about their different graduate programs and when she's bothering Rose about her Quidditch career and so on and so forth; he's got eyes that see everything—more than everything, sometimes—but there's only one person he needs to see and she's right there. He catches her looking at him and he settles for a cheeky grin; it's so easy and yet so hard to get the innocent look just right.
Nobody suspects anything, at least not anyone who doesn't already know; he thinks it's their perfect secret, and then that's all shattered when after lunch the cousins and the parents are all sitting around whinging about work and James Sirius Potter of all people corners him on one of the Burrow's numerous oddly-shaped landings.
"Teddy," growls James, "we need to talk."
His hair goes jet-black, matching James. "What about?" he asks softly, conscious his heart's in his mouth and he's not quite ready to go head to head with James of all people, but maybe it's best that he does it this way.
"Where were you last night?"
"Home," he says evasively, but that's not good enough for James, not if that flash in his eyes is anything to go by: God, he looks like Harry in a strop, and that's not—
"Home with Lily?" he asks sharply.
He feels his eyes narrow; there's no point denying it, so he sighs softly. "Yeah," he grinds out defiantly. "What of it?"
"You don't hide it as well as you think you do."
"Oh, do I not?" counters Teddy archly. "I seem to recall you and your Slytherin girl—"
A flush begins to creep up James' face. "That's different!"
"Oh, is it?"
"She's family, you prat!"
"What, and Victoire wasn't?"
James falls silent.
Checkmate, you daft prick.
"You're not going to let us stop you, are you? Both of you, you'd rather burn the place down than let any of us stop you." James' eyes darken. "If you hurt my little sister…"
"It's my anatomy on the line. I know, I'm the one who came up with that." Teddy nods once, and then James is gone.
He lets out the breath he doesn't even realise he's been holding, relieved James has the decency to let it go; that he can't stop the inevitable, that maybe he sees that this is everything for Teddy and his baby sister.
Teddy heaves another sigh of relief and seeks her out.
"You know, Lily," her Aunt Hermione begins as she idly pours herself a coffee during a morning tea break at one of those Auror training sessions where her department came down to go over laws and policies they'd have to abide by, "you spend more time with Teddy than the rest of us combined." She lets her observation hang in the air unqualified.
"Yeah," Lily says noncommittally as she takes an aggressive bite of a custard cream; she keeps her eyes low, hoping that she doesn't give anything away because she thinks the family might kill them if they find out; just because she and Teddy don't care doesn't mean everyone else is going to be okay with it.
"Don't worry," Hermione continues, "I've been in your position before, trying to keep things under wraps."
"Really?" Lily blurts. Fuck, she curses in her head as she feels a flush run up her cheeks, now she'll know and she'll tell everyone—
"I have." Hermione throws her a remarkably un-Hermione-ish grin. "Don't worry, your secret's safe with me," she says gently; and with that, she pulls her work face back on as if nothing has been said at all.
He watches her spoon Thai green curry chicken onto her rice; God, he thinks, that messy bun is cute. It's date night because he's on mornings this week and neither of them can cook anything edible. The aroma of all the food and her mixes into this cocktail that's getting him high just sitting there, sipping his water, eyes for her and her alone.
He puts his glass down and says, "D'you ever think…"
"I think a lot," she smirks impishly.
He snorts gently. "I mean, d'you think we should go public with this?"
"I don't see why not," she sighs, "considering I'm pretty sure they all suspect something already." Her voice is light but Teddy knows there's something more underneath it, as if she's been confronted by some member of the sprawling family.
"I know James knows."
She takes her time chewing her chicken before she speaks. "I know Hermione knows."
"Fuck it. We might as well go public. It wouldn't hurt."
She puts her fork down and bites her lip. "I dunno, Ted, the parents might just flip."
"We'll have to do it sooner or later."
"This Sunday? I'll be at dinner."
Her eyes go wide. "So soon? But—"
"We don't have to say it straight out," he says gently, "but we don't have to try too hard to hide." His eyes twinkle and he sees understanding in hers.
"Gotcha," she grins, and with that, it's back to the fiery curry and rice; the curry is as fiery as the passions that drive her soul, bursting with notes of lemongrass and galangal just like his heart is bursting with with everything about Lily, his Lily in front of him.
They've come to this Thai place behind his flat so many times and they've been to so many other places for dinner but the magic of an evening together just dining and having fun never seems to fade and that's how Teddy knows deep down that this is true, this is fate and together they see it coming.
It's Sunday dinnertime and the Burrow is just about ready to explode with the entire clan; Lily's there, heart fluttering as she sits in Teddy's lap facing him, talking about some minor work drama and such, not really worried about anything at all; it's just the two of them in the corner, speaking softly.
But that's all shattered when Uncle Ron's in their face. "Dinner!" he sings, careful to ensure his voice thunders against their eardrums.
"Blimey, Uncle Ron," mutters Lily as she rubs her ear, "d'you have to do that?"
"Yes," he huffs, "when we've mentioned dinner three times already but you two are too lost in each other to notice."
Lily feels a flush creep up her cheeks and neck into her own flame-red hair; fuck fuck fuck, she thinks, they're onto us—
They're looking at her, every single one of them.
She stammers something or other that comes out just plain incomprehensible; her eyes flicker back into Teddy's, wide with fear, fear that everything they've worked so hard to build with each other's about to come crashing down, that it's all over now, now they've surrendered control.
It's now or never, his eyes scream, and that's what gives her the courage she needs.
She clears her throat and in that moment it feels like they're both in free-fall. "Yeah," she says with every ounce of defiance she's inherited from her mother and then some, staring down the rest of the family. "Yeah, what of it?"
Silence.
And so with nothing else to do to make the silence go away, she reaches up and gently pulls Teddy's face closer; and in that single moment of the purest magic, he just knows what to do and leans in for a single, gentle kiss; her lips touch his and it's like there's nobody else there at all.
"Merlin," mutters one of the cousins, "and we were going to eat!"
A hullabaloo erupts with cheering and back-slapping and congratulations and well done and finally and get a room so Lily pulls Teddy to the dinner table and as they're dishing out the chicken and potatoes and vegetables and everything else churned out by Grandmother Molly, she catches him looking at her like she's the only thing he sees for miles; she looks straight into his beautiful eyes and all she sees is a querying look that just screams, We got so worked up for that? and she just smiles at her dinner to say Yes.
Later the same night she finds herself lying in the grass behind the Burrow with Teddy and no-one else, gazing at the stars, savouring the moment her parents gave their blessing (albeit after a drink for Harry to steel himself); living in the moment of right here and right now because come sunrise they'll both be back in the daily grind.
"So this is what it feels like…"
Teddy shifts ever so slightly. "Care to define 'it', Lily?"
"Happily ever after," she says softly, letting those three cliché words drift off into the dark starry yonder.
Somewhere we'll find infinity
A/N: I recently discovered Teddy/Lily and fell in love with it; behold my first proper piece of Harry Potter fanfiction in nearly four years! It's good to be back.
Reviews are much appreciated; please be brutally honest.