Emulation of Apathy

Author: Slytherstein

Rating: T

Spoilers: All

Genre: Angst/Adventure

Main Character(s): Uchiha Sasuke

Secondary Character(s): Orochimaru, Yakushi Kabuto, Uchiha Itachi, Karin, and Haruno Sakura

Ship(s): SasukexKarin, SasukexTamaki (past), ItachixSakura, OrochimaruxTsunade (one-sided), KabutoxGuren

Summary: After walking away from his fight with Naruto, Sasuke begins his years of training under Orochimaru. He soon discovers that every day is an amusing, albeit disturbing adventure with him and Kabuto. Relentlessly tormented by his past, one thing alone keeps him resolute: maintaining an apathetic demeanor and envisioning the demise of Uchiha Itachi. Collab w/ The. Teal. Rose & Lehrain.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, sole ownership goes to the creators.

A/N: This is a fic which will lead into a collaboration with The. Teal. Rose's "Illusions of Serenity" and Lehrain's "Vigil of Sorrows." Their stories center around an illusionary realm that Itachi and Sakura end up in together after she countered his genjutsu with her Inner Sakura (the world is mainly based off the Shivering Isles). "Illusions of Serenity" is told from Itachi's POV, and "Vigil of Sorrows" is told from Sakura's. To get the full experience of any of our three stories, it is recommended that you read all of them. My story will be set in the two and a half years that lead up to the events that take place in their stories, and when all the stories meet, mine will be the one told from Sasuke's POV.

Emulation of Apathy

Chapter I

"The First Step"

…

'One foot in front of the other…'

That was key. He had to keep thinking this. It was the only thing that kept him moving. His entire body was aching, every intake of breath shots daggers of pain throughout his entire being, and the blood continued to slowly trickle down the side of his mouth. The rain overhead numbed his senses, sent sudden chills down his spine, but it hurt to shiver. He had to resist the innate urge, otherwise the agony would be too much to bear.

He fought to force his eyes open, he could feel himself nodding off, but in the end, he barely managed a narrow line of vision. It was the best he could do, in his current state. He was fighting against his body enough, as it was, and his eyesight offered minimal aid in the dark forest. However, this narrow line was imperative. Without it, his eyelids would droop, and he would pass out from exhaustion in minutes. Then, whoever was still following him would find him. After all, it was not as though he had done much to cover up his tracks.

They would find him, as there undoubtedly more Konoha members making their way to Naruto and the others. And if he was lying unconscious on the forest floor, there would be nothing he could do to resist them. In fact, he doubted there was anything he would be able to do to resist them, as it was, but if he put enough distance between them, resistance would be beside the point. Therefore, all he could do was increase the distance.

'One foot in the front of the other…'

His feet dragged in the mud, his legs attempted to send the signal to his brain that it was enough, that he needed to stop. But he could not stop. If they found him, he would never reach his goal. There was nothing for him in Konoha. That village offered nothing more than a barrier, a fortification against what he sought. Not only was it a wall, but it was a weight on him from all directions.

Naruto…

Sakura…

Kakashi…

It was as though the string Kakashi had tied around him to force him to listen was still tugging on him, trying to pull him back. There were three, distinct strands, each with its own weight at the end. One weight, his mentor, his sensei—the man who had taught him almost everything he knew, the man who had confronted him and made him realize he was not alone, the man who had also experienced loss. The second weight, Sakura—the seemingly frivolous girl who actually had an impressive willpower, the girl who cared deeply for him, who had cried at the notion of parting, the girl who would do anything to stay by his side. And the final weight, Uzumaki Naruto—the boy who had declared him his rival, who had only a year ago graduated at the bottom of their class, the boy who he had stepped in front of a shower of needles to protect and who, in turn, had thrown himself in front of a giant snake for him, the boy who now stood on such equal ground with him that he had placed him within an inch of his life.

The boy he considered his closest friend…

In Konoha, he was confined to the prison that its walls instilled, and, in all directions, he would be pulled deeper and deeper into the depths of that village. Because these weights would tie him down, and, as long as he was in Konoha, there would be no way to sever those ties. He was resolved, however, to leave it all behind.

'One foot in front of the other…'

He could feel the weights slowly lifting with each footfall. It was an agonizing process, but he was determined. This was the only way he could reach his goal. The only way he could finally attain enough power, enough power to fulfill the task that he had dedicated his entire life to carrying out.

This was the only way he could become strong enough to defeat his brother.

Yes. It would all be worthwhile, in the end. When he finally had the satisfaction of seeing all the suffering, all the terror Uchiha Itachi had thrust upon every member of their village at last reflected in that murderous bastard's eyes, then, and only then, would this be at an end. Then, he could be at peace.

His left arm was throbbing again, and he lifted his right hand to firmly grasp it, to ease the pain. But his grip was so weak, it did little good. Too sore to even care, however, he left his hand in place, as he slid one muddy foot in front of the other, sweeping leaves out of their rest and forcing them deeper into the damp earth beneath him.

As he forced himself in his lethargic walk, his mind began to wander. And as his mind wandered, his vision blurred. Scenes of his past began to soar in front of him, growing much clearer than any dark forest could be, and as he allowed them to surge through him, the first vision he came upon was his father.

The man had his back to him, the Uchiha fan shining proudly on his back. This was usually the case, though. He always faced away from his youngest son, insisting on keeping his eyes fixed on his eldest, and him alone.

But in this rare memory, something was different. His father was speaking to him. And the words he spoke were the words his son had yearned to hear his entire life…

"You are my son, indeed."

The one time his father had said this to him was after a disagreement he had experienced with his older son. Itachi had slandered the clan name, had thrown a shuriken directly at the clan symbol on the wall, but, because of his younger brother's intervention, the police had refrained from arresting him for it. It was during this time that their father had finally acknowledged his younger son, had conveyed the words to him that he had so often conveyed to the Uchiha prodigy.

It was as though he would only ever be good enough for his father in comparison with his brother. The one time his father had finally said those words to him was to spite Itachi. He was quite certain that, no matter how impressive the fire blast would have been, his father would have never acknowledged it if he was on good terms with the man destined to kill him.

However, even as he thought this, a new memory surfaced.

His mother was smiling at him from across the kitchen table, her large onyx eyes kind and warm. In her smile, she closed her eyes and pointed at herself, to emphasize her words…

"When he's alone with me, your dad only talks about you."

At the time, this had been more than enough to cheer him up. But now, he wondered if she had only uttered those words for the sake of taking the gloomy expression away from his face. Or, perhaps, she had misinterpreted his father. Perhaps his mother had been the one to bring him up in conversation with her husband, and, by simply responding, his father had seemed as though he was talking about his younger son. Admittedly, his mother had never been the most intelligent person in the world. But she was the nicest person he had ever known, and she was willing to give everyone the benefit of the doubt.

In that same moment, his vision flashed to another recollection…

"You and I are unique brothers."

He was eight-years-old again, and he was sitting on their porch, his Grade Book set on the floor behind him. The sun was slowly setting below the horizon, drowning the entire world in a pleasant orange hue. And beside him, his older brother had his head bowed and his eyes closed. He was speaking.

"As an obstacle you need to overcome, I…I'll always be there for you."

Itachi lifted his black eyes to rest on his younger brother with a smile. His usual, kind smile. Undoubtedly, he had gotten it from their mother.

"Even if you ended up hating me."

…In a flash, that kind smile was replaced by the image of his father and his mother lying in a pool of their own blood.

Blood.

Blood was splattered all across the room. And the image flashed to another. Uchiha Itachi, his eyes focused on him in a glare, the distinctive shape of the Mangekyou Sharingan in those crimson irises. Appropriately, the color of blood. Another flash of memories…

"You are like me, one who is capable of awakening the Mangekyou Sharingan within. However, there is a special condition…"

His brother was standing in front of him. He had stepped in his path, blocking the child's vain attempt at escape. A black cloud overhead drifted in front of the pale moon, darkening the atmosphere, and a strong gust of wind caught a flurry of leaves and his brother's hair, blowing them skyward.

…The remembering, it made him numb. It made him want to stop, to fall into a mangled heap on the forest floor and never move forward. But he kept telling himself the same thing, the same phrase that was growing monotonous.

'One foot in front of the other…'

…His brother was glaring at him, the wind delicately catching the long bangs in front of his face.

"Your closest friend, you must…"

And this was what finally made him pause in his footsteps. It made him turn his head just a fraction, his dark eyes staring back the way he had come, as if he would somehow be able to still catch a glimpse of that spiked blond hair, of those bright cerulean eyes, of that energetic smile. And that narrow line he had been forcing for so long closed, his eyelids falling as he lowered his head…

And Itachi's eyes widened.

"…kill him!"

He turned his head away, facing forward once more. All around him, it had become eerily silent. The rain that had been his constant companion since Naruto had fallen unconscious was now absent. It had left this forest, deserted the leaves overhead, just as he was deserting the Village of the Leaf.

In the silence, his brother's words ran through his head. They ran through his head over and over and over again. Uchiha Itachi wanted him to kill his closest friend. This was the secret to unlocking the Mangekyou Sharingan, the secret of the Uchiha clan. The secret to obtaining that rare, coveted power.

To kill his closest friend…

To kill Uzumaki Naruto…

To kill Naruto…

He could not do that! He could not kill Naruto! But, why? Why could he not kill him? If it was to gain more power, he should not resist. Nothing should stay his hand. He had made a vow, a vow to his parents. To his aunt. To all of his clan. There was nothing he would not do to avenge the lives his brother had stolen.

Then, why?

'I will not…do as you want me to!' he thought. And with that, his eyes flew open. A newfound determination took hold of him. He needed to move forward. He could not stop, he could not allow anyone to hold him back, to tie him down, to pull him away from his vendetta. He needed to keep moving.

'One foot in front of the other…'

He managed to slide his left foot. Slowly, he lifted his right and forced it in front. Then his left again. He continued moving.

'I will gain power my way,' he thought. 'I will surpass you my way! For sure!'

He continued further and further into the darkness of the forest. Suddenly, his wounds did not ache as they had before. His legs, though still wobbly and still forcing him to walk with a slight limp, did not protest his every step as they had. He felt strength returning to his fingers, and he grasped his left arm tighter, and he felt a satisfying relief as the pain that had been surging through his arm began to slowly ebb away. The blood was no longer trickling from his mouth, which meant whatever injuries he had suffered were not too severe and he would be able to put a little more strain on himself.

Therefore, he quickened his pace. Barely, but it was enough for him to notice a difference. The coordinates those idiotic Sound Ninja had passed to him of Orochimaru's current hideout was ringing through his head, and he realized he was getting much closer than he had realized. Finally. If Naruto had managed to obtain that much power so quickly after training under a Legendary Sannin, he had high expectations of his own training. Orochimaru had fought against both Jiraiya and the current Hokage. In a weakened state, no less. Of the three, he was undoubtedly the most powerful.

He would surpass Naruto.

Never again would that boy be able to push him to these limits. Never again would he be within an inch of his life after a fight with his friend, and he would never have to feel these aches again over such a needless battle. He would train rigorously, devote every waking hour to learning as much as he could from the Master of Snakes. The Frog Master's pupil would be no match for him.

And he would surpass Itachi.

There would be no gap between his older brother and himself. Next time he faced that man, he would be sure to take his life. He would be ready for him.

The darkness thickened the longer he walked, and he could feel that it was not simply the thickening of trees, but also the impending approach of nightfall. A gentle breeze rustled the leaves around him, sweeping a pile from the forest floor and letting them dance around his feet as he progressed in his path. Not long after, however, it fell still once more. The stillness overtook the entire forest, and he knew it had reached that pivotal point in the day: just after dusk, when all the day dwellers had burrowed into their homes or flow into their nests, but just before the completion of nightfall, when the nocturnal animals would emerge and begin scouring for food. It had fallen into a silent stillness.

There was no chirping blue jay to disturb his thoughts, nor hooting owl to draw his attention. No raindrops overhead, no breeze beneath his footfalls, no pestering animals above or below. No. He was alone. Alone with the quiet.

He trudged on, placing one foot in front of the other, forcing himself continuously forward. Until, finally, he stopped short. Standing before him, there was a large, concrete structure. Smooth, stone stairs led down into the open archway, an archway that revealed nothing but a seemingly endless blackness that would engulf any who dared enter. And on the lintel, there were inscribed two snakes.

'What…an obvious entrance,' he thought to himself. He wondered if, perhaps, there was some trick to this.

At that moment, however, he caught sight of a speck of white within the unending blackness. Slowly, it grew more focused, the white intensifying and taking form, until he realized it was a head of hair. Yes, it was most definitely hair, pulled back into a messy ponytail. As the figure emerged and stepped out of the black archway, recognition was complete.

Yakushi Kabuto.

He was the man who had helped them through the second part of the Chuunin Exams, the one who had prevented Naruto and Sakura from opening the scroll, and the one who had guided them to the tower and aided them in attaining the accompanying scroll. The man who had approached them when they had first entered the exam room, who had relayed all the information he knew gathered from past Chuunin Exams to the recent graduates. The man who had fallen into a cycle of never passing his exam, and who had mysteriously raised his hand to back out before the preliminary matches had even begun.

Yes…the man who he had known there was more to than met the eye. He had known there was more to Kabuto than it seemed, and all of his suspicions were finally appeased. So, this was what the mysterious man had been hiding. And this was why he had opted to aid them so readily.

"Sasuke-kun," the man spoke, pushing his glasses up the brim of his nose, and he smiled pleasantly. "You finally arrived. Orochimaru-sama was growing rather restless." When no response came, Kabuto's smile widened, and he turned back the way he had come, facing that unending darkness. "Come with me. We'll dress those wounds, and then I'll take you to him."

'One foot in front of the other…'

He had to tell this to himself several times, yet still, his foot would not budge. He was momentarily frozen, pausing in deliberation. Once he followed Kabuto and descended into that blackness, there would be no turning back. He had to refortify every ounce of resolve, and to do this, he let his mind linger on one thing, and one thing only: Uchiha Itachi.

This was the push he needed. The memory of those crimson eyes, glaring out at him, his figure barely discernible in the pale moonlight, standing over the lifeless bodies of their mother and father. Yes. This was all he needed.

'One foot in front of the other…'

He nodded his head. Lifting one foot, he stepped forward and then placed it gently on the ground in front of the other.

And with that, Uchiha Sasuke took the first step into darkness.