A/N: This is like a series of Tyka/SanoChi oneshots that can also be seen as a story. Well, the first two chaps are related, thou.
Warning: yaoi, cussing
Disclaimer: Don't own anything
Chi felt something tickling his chin, and frowned. The fuzz moved to his cheek, and he shook his head, opening golden eyes lazily. Sano was hovering above, holding a green stuffed toy in front of the Neko-jin's face.
"Hey there, sleepyhead," he laughed. Chi snorted and yawned hugely, stretching.
"Look who's talking," he groaned and looked around in Sano's room. It was darker than he remembered.
"How long did we sleep?" the pink-haired boy asked. Sano sat straight and took another toy.
"I dunno, it's almost six," he said. Chi's eyes widened and he glanced at Sano's Sponge Bob clock.
"Wow. That long?" he mumbled. Sano sighed in a mock-exhausted manner.
"Yeah, math homework sure drains the juice out of ya," he mused. A pink brow rose sharply.
"Don't you mean watching your boyfriend do it for you?" he teased, but Sano just pouted indignantly.
"Hey, I did do it myself, you may have helped a little bit, ok?" he defended himself, and concentrated on his toys, two ninja turtles. Chi watched him with a small smile on his face, and shook his head.
"How old are you again?" he asked. Sano stuck his chest out.
"Old enough," he said and started acting out, "Michelangelo! Where's the last slice of pizza? I ate it. What! It was mine! Didn't have your name on it. We were all supposed to get three slices, and you ate it anyway! How could you! Oh come on, don't be such a baby. What did you just say? Ok that does it!" Sano removed Donatello's scarf and made him whip Michelangelo's butt with it. "Bad boy, bad bad boy!"
Chi stared at his best friend in horror.
"What are you doing? You can't do that, cut it out!" he yelled. Sano stuck his tongue out at the other teen.
"My room, my toys," he said.
"My childhood memories! That's blasphemy! Stop that right now!" the pink-haired boy insisted. Sano sighed and rolled his eyes, putting the scarf back on the turtle. He observed his toys thoughtfully for a moment before continuing the game.
"I'm sorry Michelangelo, but I had to teach you a lesson, you understand right? I know, and I'm sorry for eating your pizza slice. I'm sorry Donatello. It's ok, I'm sorry for spanking you, too. No don't be, I liked it. A lot. Really? MmmmmMMMhhhaahhOOOOhhhSluuurrppMMmmm Kiiiisss mmm…" Sano made the turtles hump and grind against each other. Chi's jaw dropped in horror.
"What the hell? They're brothers, they can't do that!" he yelled. Sano's hands paused uncertainly, and he glanced at his boyfriend.
"No they're not."
"Yes they are, God, don't you know that? And you call yourself a fan? Come on! They're brothers!" Chi claimed. Sano hesitated.
"No they're not," he muttered and continued the turtle humping. Chi sat up.
"Sano! They are! Cut it out, they can't do that!" he snapped. The navy-haired teen glanced at his best friend, then at the toys, uncertainly.
"Nothing wrong with a little brotherly love," he said suddenly and kept playing, "Mmmhh Donatello oooh feels so gooodd! Hardeeeer!" Chi laughed and tried to reach for the toys, but Sano twisted his body away.
"Come on you perv, give 'em up! I'm not gonna let you do that!" he laughed.
"No!" Sano giggled, "Get your own turtles! This is my room!"
"I said give 'em," Chi growled playfully and pounced the younger boy, who tried to squirm away in delight. Soon the toys fell on the floor and it turned into a mock-wrestling match, and suddenly they were bundled up, panting in each other's faces. Flustered, his face glowing, Sano laughed weakly.
"Perv," Chi murmured tenderly.
"And what does that make you for dating me?" Sano teased, and the Neko-jin closed the distance between their lips, sinking into a sensual kiss.
"Happy," he breathed against the Japanese boy's lips, before Sano kissed him harder, with passion. They rolled over, Sano now on top. He preferred this position for he was lighter, and because removing Chi's clothing was much easier this way. Sano's hand fumbled with the buckle of Chi's studded belt clumsily as hands roamed underneath his shirt.
"Mhh… I don't have morning breath, do I?" Sano murmured, making the Neko laugh.
"We slept for a few hours, moron," he mumbled, nipping his lover's flushed bottom lip. The belt opened and the zipper went down loudly, followed by an eager hand. Chi's breath shuddered as Sano's mouth moved to lick and suck his soft, pale collarbone skin while the hand squeezed and stroked torturously within the boxers.
Chi wetted his lips, his brows furrowing suddenly.
"Uh… w-wait, are your parents home?" he groaned, trying not to buck into the touch. Sano paused and thought.
"Um, father's at work and dad's about to start his lesson," he said. Golden eyes opened.
"What lesson?" he asked. Sano gave him an odd look.
"Kendo."
"You didn't tell me he was teaching kendo."
"I didn't? I thought I did. Are you sure I didn't?" Chi frowned.
"I'm pretty sure I'd remember. When is it?"
"At six, right about now in the gym hall. Why?" Chi's eyes flickered with excitement and he sat up.
"Oh great, let's go watch!" Sano's jaw couldn't have dropped any lower.
"What? What about the lovin'? What about my needs?" he asked. Chi closed his flyer and belt, straightening his purple top. He threw his legs on the floor and stood up.
"Come on, I want to see what it's like, we don't have to watch the whole lesson," he said. Sano wobbled his lower lip.
"But he has those three times a week!" he tried. Chi gave him a pointed look over his shoulder.
"Sano, we can do it every night of the week," he said. Sano's eyes glazed over and a stupid smile spread on his face from the mere idea of sexing Chi up every night of the week.
"Oh yeh… ehehe… whoo yeah…" he chuckled, lost in his own world. Chi sighed and went to the door.
"Come on, let's go downstairs," he said, and Sano snapped out of it. Frowning childishly, the younger teen flopped on the floor and crawled to his best friend on his knees. He wrapped his arms around Chi's thighs and nuzzled his butt longingly.
"Sano want nookie!" he wailed. The pink-haired boy rolled his eyes and yanked Sano up from the floor.
"Come on, how long does the lesson last?" he asked.
"Like 45 minutes, or something."
"See? You can wait that long," Chi said. Frowning, Sano followed him in the hallway.
"Don't be so sure. If I spontaneously combust and die, it's your fault," he grumbled. Chi grinned as the pony-tailed boy leaned his head on his shoulder.
"If you die, I'll kill myself, ok?" he said. Sano smiled in the purple fabric.
"You're the best boyfriend ever." They went downstairs and saw many unfamiliar coats and shoe pairs by the front door.
"I wonder how many people wanted to get on this course?" Chi mumbled as they tiptoed towards the gym hall. Sano whistled quietly.
"Trust me, a lot. The phone's been ringing ever since dad put the add up. Everyone wants to be taught by the world champ," he whispered. They stopped by the door and creaked it open, glancing in. There were about 15 customers, all young women, standing around, looking a bit nervous. The door to the backyard opened and Tyson came in, waving at the females. Everyone perked up and blushed, and an electric giggle shot through the air.
"Hello everyone, sorry I'm late, I had to…"
"That's OK!" came the interrupting response in a choir. Tyson smiled and the women blushed even more, fiddling with their hair and shifting their weight from one foot to another. Maybe it had something to do with the fact Tyson was shirtless. The pony-tailed man took a kendo stick that had been leaning against the wall and waved it around with seemingly casual ease. Everyone's eyes were nailed on him; there was no point in denying it.
"Thanks for being so understanding, I promise I won't be late next time. So, does everyone have their gear?" he asked, and the women started to take their traditional, new, expensive kendo uniforms out of the bags by the wall. Sano sighed as the class got changed.
"Can we go eat something? I'm hungry," he complained. Chi hushed him.
"Come on, they haven't even started yet. You know, don't you think it's a bit weird there are only girls in class?" he asked. Sano shrugged.
"I dunno. Maybe they think it burns calories or something?" he mused, but Chi just rolled his eyes. One of the women laughed shyly.
"Mr Kinomiya, can you help me get this back part on? I seem to be a bit stuck," she said, and Tyson was right by her side.
"Sure thing. I remember the difficulties of getting my uniform on the first time," he assured. The girl blushed and giggled madly as Tyson moved behind her and yanked the armour down, hands on her waist. Some of the other women gave her dirty looks.
"Oh Mr Kinomiya, can I get some help too?"
"And me, I'm stuck too!"
"I'm more stuck, help me!"
Tyson laughed sheepishly and ran from girl to girl, trying his best to help them get changed. Chi sighed and rolled his eyes. This was unbelievable. He was starting to realise exactly why the class had been so popular.
After what seemed like an eternity, everyone had finally changed, and the lesson could begin. Tyson was giving them his little speech about how kendo was about knowing yourself and yadda yadda, and the women ate up every word, nodding eagerly and tilting their heads with little oohs and aahs of admiration, as Tyson showed them a few stances and moves. Chi was starting to feel nauseous, and didn't understand how unfazed Sano seemed by all of this.
"Doesn't this look a bit weird to you?" he whispered to his boyfriend. The Japanese sighed and leaned against him.
"I can't see, hunger has blinded me," he groaned dramatically. Chi rolled his eyes again.
"Just hang on a little while," he mumbled and looked in the hall. Tyson walked behind a girl.
"Like this?" she asked uncertainly. Tyson grabbed her hands and positioned them.
"No, your hands have to be higher, more like this," he instructed, and the grin nearly split her face. The other women looked annoyed and went in really bizarre positions.
"Oh teacher, am I standing correctly?" someone asked.
"What about me? Is this right?" another one asked, squatting on the floor. Chi closed his eyes and took a step back, shaking his head. How could Sano and uncle Tyson be so blind?
"Let's go eat," Chi said, and Sano perked up immediately. He dragged the pink-braided teen after himself to the kitchen. He halted when he saw a package of Lucky Charms on the table.
"A new box! Untouched! All mine!" he gasped and ran to it, ripping it open, "The toy is mine! Hahaha!" Frowning, Chi took a seat.
"What do you mean? Who would possibly take the toy?" he asked.
"Dad," Sano said and fished the little plastic bag in his hand, looking at the figure in it. Pink brows rose.
"He collects cereal toys?" Chi asked in disbelief. Sano blushed and glanced at him.
"He doesn't collect them."
"Then what does he do with them?"
"He puts them in a big box."
"Sano, that's collecting."
"Is not! Collecting is putting stuff on the shelves in order!"
"Like he does with Happy Meal toys?"
"That's beside the point! Are you trying to tell me my dad is childish or something?"
"No, no. Of course not. When I grow up, I want to be the proud owner of the Disney movie collection, too."
"Hey! Those are for the entire family, not just kids, ok?"
"How many times have you seen Tarzan?"
"Um… like six times. Why?"
"And how many times has your dad seen it?"
"I don't see what that has to…"
"How many times, Sano?" The younger boy sighed and pursed his mouth shut tightly, looking away. He mumbled something. Chi leaned closer, grinning slightly.
"I'm sorry, I didn't quite hear you. A bit louder?" he asked.
"19 times!" Sano huffed. A calm smile on his face, the Neko leaned back.
"Ah-ha." Sano glared at him. He loved and worshipped his dad with every cell in his body, and he would not let anyone make fun of him just because they had the same taste.
"Do you want your ass kicked?" he snapped, glaring at Chi, who raised his hands, eyes wide.
"Peace! I didn't say anything!" he claimed innocently. Looking suspicious, Sano turned his attention on the cereal figure.
"Doesn't it bother you how those girls are all over your dad, anyway?" Chi asked. Sano blinked in confusion.
"Hu? No they're not," he claimed.
"Sano, you know I love you, and that our relationship is based on honesty, so I'm gonna have to say this: those girls want your dad bad." Sano's eyes widened and he shook his head.
"You're crazy!" he snapped, "M-maybe kendo is the new thing." Chi raised a brow.
"Oh yeah, now that I think about it, I did read in the tabloids that Paris Hilton has been seen going to kendo lessons. Yeah, that explains the nation's craze," he said dryly. Sano's face turned dark with anger. He crossed his arms, trying to think of something feverishly.
"But what I'm really worried about is Kai's attitude," Chi mumbled, rubbing his neck. Blinking, Sano looked at him.
"Wha? What do ya mean?"
"Well, he owns the property and paid for Tyson's gear… Tyson is running his business in this dojo… he's taking money from people and appears to them half-naked and touches them… so, when you think about it, Kai's really a pimp."
Sano gaped at the other teen in horror.
"WHAT?" he yelled. Chi nodded calmly.
"It really doesn't differ that much. Those girls are gonna go home and do God only knows what, inspired by your dad. He's like a modern geisha. Your father's a pimp." Sano looked absolutely horrified. Suddenly Chi stood up.
"Oh well, guess I'd better get going. You know how mom gets when I come home too late. Always nagging that I'm not home enough and stuff. See ya!" Sano stared into the distance.
"My father's a pimp?" he muttered. Chi petted the dark blue hair affectionately.
"Come on, you're not the only kid of a pimp. Pimps have lots of kids, I've heard," he said and walked out, a huge, mischievous grin on his face. Sano was left sitting on the kitchen table, absolutely devastated. A long time passed, and Tyson walked in the kitchen, covered in sweat, a towel flung over his shoulders.
"Oh hey, what'cha doing here, sitting all by yourself? Man, I'm sweating like a pig, gotta take a shower. Do we have any Dr Pepper left? Oh yes thank God wee do!" He took a can and popped it open, taking a sip. He watched his quiet son, and stepped closer, rubbing Sano's shoulder.
"Hey, bug… everything ok?" he asked with a lowered voice. Sano swallowed and nodded, staring at the toy. Father's a pimp.
"Well, I gotta take a shower, good thing the next group doesn't come until Thursday, man my muscles are gonna hurt tomorrow, haha!" He left Sano by himself. Soon, the boy's expression darkened. He would not let his father pimp his dad any longer. He'd make sure of that.
TBC