"Bella, the Blacks are coming over today at around 5. You alright with that? " asked Charlie. There was a game today of something I didn't care for but apparently, Billy and Charlie did.

"Sure." I replied. I didn't mind sitting through 2 hours of a pointless game. It was a distraction from…him at least. I spent most of my time doing things; it didn't help to have free time where my mind constantly lingered from distant memories to another. To add to that, it was the first day of the school's 3 week holiday, which, for me, was 3 weeks of nothing to do, leading to painful memories drifting back into my mind. I looked at the clock and saw that it was 4:30. I sighed. Time always passed slowly nowadays for me. It was as if it was done on purpose, to torment me longer… Or maybe it was to do with the fact that I always wasn't…well, happy these days, so the minutes dragged on and on.

"I'm um, gonna go take a shower now. You mind?" I asked flatly, while trying to block the memories threatening to haunt my mind.

"Go ahead."

"Kay" I replied as I walked up the stairs to the bathroom I, unfortunately had to share with Charlie. I opened the door and looked around. Nothing had changed but the way I felt was completely different. Before, I was usually eager and excited when I came in here because I knew that the minute I finished my shower, outside there would be Edw-

I winced as the hole tore itself apart; cutting off my thought. It pained me to hear, or think of him at all. Like my heart had a huge, savage hole where our love used to be, that ripped apart whenever I thought of him. I took off my clothes and turned on the hot water. The water relaxed me slightly but not entirely. It was enough for the moment though.

After I finished showering, I towel dried my hair and put on a black shirt with some small fake gems here and there. It was a present from Alice and Rosalie along with other things from my disastrous 18th birthday. It didn't hurt as much to think about Alice and the other Cullens, sometimes I quite enjoyed sieving through my thick batch of memories with Alice, there were some pleasant memories that made me almost smile. I put on a pair of faded black jeans that Alice also gave me; she had strictly instructed that I match those two items together at least once.

"You'll turn heads with this. Not that you don't always but you'll look great!" she had told me when I took apart the wrappings and held the black shirt up, thanking her. I blow-dried my hair and looked in the mirror. I looked pale; unhealthy. But I was like that everyday now. I sighed and raked the comb through my tangled hair and felt that I looked fractionally better, now that the wild mess of hair was tamed into sleek waves. I tried to practice smiling for when they came but it felt weird, uneasy. My mouth couldn't stretch along my cheeks as it could before, I could only manage a faint hint of a smile. I sighed and gave up trying to be friendly; it was too much work for me.

'Let's get this over and done with.' I thought, gritting my teeth slightly. I left my hair as it was and headed downstairs.

"The Blacks aren't here yet Bella, no need to rush." Charlie called from the living room as he heard my quick steps down the stairs. He turned his head to see what I was wearing. He blinked and looked me up and down; it made me feel slightly uncomfortable but I controlled my expression as I usually did around him.

"Wow, you look…good Bella." he said; his eyes moved back to the television.

"Thanks." I replied, hearing for the first time how dead my voice sounded. I looked, and sounded like a zombie what with my pale and chalky complexion. Just then, the doorbell rang.

"Bella, can you get it? I still have to order pizza for dinner." he said as he headed for the phone. I didn't reply and opened the door to find an eager Billy sitting in his wheelchair with Jacob behind him.

"Hey Bella." Billy said as he smiled at me. I tried my best to smile back.

"Hi Billy. Hi Jacob." I said with forced enthusiasm. I noticed that Jacob Black never looked away from me and I looked at him. He had grown a lot. He was taller then I remembered and seemed a bit more mature. I looked at him in eye and he did so as well. He smiled at me, looking younger as he did. I felt my mouth stretching along my cheeks and realised I was smiling. I was really smiling for the first time in a month.

"Come on in." I said, moving out of the way for Jacob to wheel Billy in.

"Hey Billy." Charlie called once they were in the house.

"Hey Charlie." replied Billy. Then, there were a few brief moments of those awkward silences that you feel on your first day of school, when you're stuck for things to say to the person next to you. Luckily, those moments didn't last for long as Jacob spoke.

"I haven't seen you in such a long time Bella."

"I haven't seen you for a long time as well. You grew like, what, 5 feet?"

Billy, Charlie and Jacob laughed and I felt that unfamiliar stretch along my cheeks again. Charlie saw me smile, with a some-what shocked and amazed look painted on his face but thankfully, he wiped it off quickly.

"Well, the game's about to begin. Come on and sit down guys." Charlie said as he looked at the TV screen.

The hours weren't that bad. It seemed that Jacob also had no particular interest in baseball, as it turned out to be, so we went upstairs to my room. As I opened the door for him to go in, I noticed for the first time how neat it was. It was as if nobody was living here. Jacob seemed to notice that as well, but decided not to comment.

'Sorry it's really cramped in here." I apologised to Jacob, seeing how much space he was taking up.

"'S alright." he replied.

"So…How's school?" I said, trying to make conversation. He laughed, looking younger as he did.

"Um, alright I guess." he said, laughing at the subject I had chosen. I laughed as well. The sound had a faint hint of hysteria that I hoped Jacob wouldn't notice. Then, I suddenly remembered something from the last time I met with Jacob.

"You still working on your car?"

"Um, I finished it a couple of days ago. You could come for a ride with me sometime if you want", his tone hopeful.

"Sure." I replied. I seemed to enjoy his company for some strange and unknown reason.

"You're really skinny." he said as he gently poked my ribs.

"You're really tall."

"Yeah, but seriously Bella. Are you like, anorexic?" he replied as his eyes gazed upon my bony arms. I rolled my eyes. I felt his eyes on my face again so I looked at him in return. I noticed that his eyes had a nice colour, sort of blackish brown and really clear and deep.

"Bella! Jacob! Come on down for dinner now!" Charlie yelled. We both got up from my bed and went downstairs. On the stairs, I tripped slightly and ended up tumbling down at the bottom of the step.

"Bella! You okay?" Jacob asked anxiously.

"I'm fine. Happens all the time."

"Here." He said as he held out his hand for me to hold. He smiled and I smiled back as I put my hand into his. He locked hands a bit tighter then necessary but I didn't mind. When we were at the dining room, I stumbled slightly but Jacob tightened his grip on me and kept me from falling.

"Thanks." I said.

"No problem. That's the second time in less then 2 minutes." he said, laughing.

"What are you, keeping count?" I asked him, laughing as well as we walked to the table where Charlie and Billy sat.

"Sort of."

I rolled my eyes and found that both Charlie and Billy's eyes were locked on our hands; entwined together. Jacob seemed to realise as well so he let go. Charlie gestured towards the seats at the table, motioning for us to sit down. We sat down next to each other, both with guilty looks on our faces. Billy and Charlie seemed to acknowledge our expressions.

"Sorry, well, it's just that I haven't seen Bella like this for quite a while, since…" Charlie said, trailing off at the end. I waited for the hole to rip itself up, but it didn't. I was relieved; I didn't want them to know how much pain I would be in.

Charlie split the large sized pizza between the four of us. We all talked as we ate and I smiled more then I ever did. Charlie noticed and tried not to look taken aback. I suppose it was a big difference from my normal morbid state. Time passed quickly, almost as fast as Jacob eating. He polished off a good half of the pizza, Charlie and Billy having 3 slices each and I had one and a half slices, Jacob finishing off the other half. Before I knew it, the Blacks had gone and I was in my bed, thinking about my time with Jacob today, falling asleep. But as happy as I was today, I still had that same nightmare.