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I do not own Friends nor the concept. Besides, I am totally and completely broke.
Alright, hopefully I am back for good. This fic is AU. More will be explained in the next chapter. I also hope to have three more at the most.
Despite all of the differences. Everything always just worked. While he was easy going and casual and generous, except being frugal. She was neurotic, frantic and loved to spend. He loved to joke around but to her nothing was a joke, so she was very serious minded except in her savings, which there were next to none. He was always saving or happened to be a financial wizard. Always seeing the profit potential, adding on to the Cds or creating new Cds. Starting new money market accounts or moving money from one to another.
The family backgrounds were different. While the older son was thought of highly in her family, she still was loved. She had parents who were there for her. He did not. His father left him and his mother at age nine. The his mother dropped him off at a boarding school a few years later. And before, during and after he was raised by servants. So he did not have unconditional love of a family.
There were similarities as well as differences. They both were easily excited. And when they both started to make plans for the future, they were strangely enough the same. Which shocked both of their friends. Which was another. They were both very careful about making friends. So they each had two really good friends.
But another major difference that was about to come up or about to…religion. He was Catholic and she was Jewish. He went to church every now and then. But she went to Temple every Saturday and very much followed the Jewish laws, including food. About the only law she did not follow was the one concerning marriage to a Gentile or non-Jew. Although to be fair they were not married, yet.
They even lived in different apartments, right across from each other. But they were in a very serious relationship with each other. They each had clothes, toothbrushes and other toiletries in the other's apartment.
They both liked waking up next to each other. He knew where ALL of her ticklish spots as well as OTHER spots were. And she knew about each of the scars on his body and where and how he got them. Not to mention, he was not circumcised.
They were in a relationship for 6 months and had known each other for four years. So when they announced their engagement, their friends were happy for them.
His mother and father loved her. They had met her soon after he moved in to his apartment. Separately, of course.
Now it was his turn to meet her parents. You would think they would have everything going for them. Since they could blend so well together or even each other out. But when he met her parents. Or even before…….
Monica sat in the car rigid while driving. She gripped the wheel until her knuckles were turning white. And alternated chewing and biting on her lower lip.
"Ok Monica. What is wrong?"
"Nothing. Nothing is wrong."
"Monica, it is me that needs to worry about being nervous. It is me meeting your parents for the very first time. And I am marrying you as well. Talk about a kick in the crotch!"
Monica pulled over at a park. "Uh, Chandler could you not talk like that?"
"Sure, babe." Monica then parked the car and took a deep breath.
"As well as a few other things." She mumbled.
Chandler narrowed his eyes. "Like."
"Well. I said a few things to kind of make you sound good."
"Again I say: like…."
"You are not going to like this."
"You are probably right."
"Well our relationship is not where it is."
"Could you BE any more con….Wait your parents still think that you are a virgin?"
"Uh, well yes on that one."
"Monica, you are twenty eight. Hardly an innocent anymore."
"Your point."
"Mon, honey the things you do in bed makes porn stars look innocent or like virgins."
"Chandler, I was raised up in a household where sex was just for the man's benefit and if a woman enjoyed it. It was a major sin. Not religiously mind you. My mother taught me that. It was to control me."
"Well they failed miserably." Chandler's hand was starting to make it's way up her ankle-length skirt. "Why are you wearing this long hideous thing anyway?"
"A sign of respect to my father and mother. While growing up, my skirts always were to be worn to midcalf."
"So all this weekend I can not even touch you?"
"Chandler, when you touch me, our feelings explode to an avalanche."
"And it is not healthy to let them simmer like that." He started to unbutton her blouse.
"Two days and a two nights. Do you think you could control yourself that long?"
Chandler pouted. "No."
"I'll let you do anything when we get back." Monica whispered in his ear.
"Anything? HMMMMM…."
"But all you have to do is to control yourself, dye your hair black and say that you are Jewish."
"WHAT?"
"Please Chandler. I told them you were."
"Are you that ashamed of me that you would lie to your parents about me."
"Please, you don't understand. I want their blessings and need their approval."
"Monica you never needed their approval before."
"Please. I love you so much. That I want them to love you too."
"And us lying to them is going to do it."
"Chandler, Please! I will repay you back."
"I know I am going to regret this. But OK."
"Great, now let's go and get your hair dyed black."
No."
"Chandler…."
"Monica you are already asking me not to be who I am, I am not changing my appearance. I should not even agree to this."
"I have a way to convince you that you should."
"Hmmm."
"There is a nice hotel down the street. And we could do almost all that you want."
Chandler lifted an eyebrow. "For how long?"
"Well, since it is mid morning and we are not expected till suppertime around seven tonight. We will have half a day."
"For everything I got in mind for payback, we would have to be in bed all weekend."
Monica just grinned and started the car. Before the hotel, they stopped off at a salon and got Chandler's hair dyed.
Once they arrived at the Geller's house, later on that night right before dinner, Chandler insisted on carrying the two bags into the house, they were greeted by two overprotective parents and brother. A sympathetic sister-in-law and two nieces.
"Dad, mom, Ross, Carol, Sara and Rebecca. This is my fiancé Chandler Bing."
Chandler extended his hand out and smiled. "Nice to meet all of you."
Jack Geller eyed him suspiciously. "Welcome."
"Thank You Mr. Geller." seeing that no one was going to shake his hand he awkwardly put it down and his smile slowly faded.
Ross who had been eyeing him strangely. "Nice to meet you as well."
"Thank you."
Mrs. Geller who looked hard over him and evidently did not like what she saw. Turned her attention to her daughter. "Monica your room is made up. So you can take your bag up to your room."
"As is the guest room." Jack watched his face carefully. Seeing nothing on it continued. "The girls will sleep there. You will sleep on the couch in the den. Ross can show you where it is at."
"Or the basement." Ross pronounced out. Monica took her bag from Chandler and Carol followed her up to her old room. Chandler followed Ross down to his or the den.
Thirty minutes later, Chandler and Monica were making their way to the living room. Once arriving, Jack Geller made an announcement.
"Rabbi Hecht is coming over for dinner tonight ."
Carol shook her head. From what she saw, Chandler was really a nice guy, what they were about to do was going to be awful.
Once the guests had arrived, and dinner had started, everything started unraveling.
The Rabbi did everything in his power to make Chandler out to be a Gentile as did Ross, Jack and Judy,
Judy even went so far as to serve a dish that was not kosher or clean. But Chandler being well aware of the food laws ignored it. Or turned it down.
Ross, Jack and the rabbi asked him his opinion on recent events that dealt with Israel and also on the Jewish history.
Since he kept up with recent events, he passed that part. But the history is where he failed at miserably.
So Chandler was relieved when dinner was over. But horrified to learn that the 'interrogation' would continue for a few hours more.
Ross, Jack and the rabbi asked him his opinion on recent events that dealt with Israel and also on the Jewish history.
Since he kept up with recent events, he passed that part. But the history is where he failed at miserably.
Finally it was time for the Rabbi to go and Jack saw him to the door.
"That man is as much of a Jew as the President is."
"I know."
"Monica is too smart to have fallen for a liar."
"She lied to us and talked him into it as well."
"Do you want my advice? He is a good man it seems and for a young gentleman to go along with her story and go so far as to dye his hair. I believe he would do anything for her. Just do not try to intercede nor becoming too vocal against it. If anything happens, let it happen naturally. If you get too involved or come out against it too strongly, then she will stay with him, if not elope."
"Stand back and try to get to know him."
"Yes. From what I see, he is patient, kind, has a good sense of humor. And he will not hurt your daughter."
"I will follow your advice. Goodnight Rabbi."
"Goodnight."
While they were talking, Ross was listening to what they were saying and making some plans of his own. Plans that would ensure that Monica would not marry Chandler. He then went to consult with his mother and get her advice and help. Which she gladly gave.
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