A/N: Okay, as usual I have no excuse for these things. I've recently gotten pretty deeply into the Kingdom Hearts fandom, and obviously Axel's one of my favorite characters - I dare anyone to say they hate him with a straight face, yeah? Anyway, he got into my head, and this dim babble-drabble is the start of the results. There might be more, but I dunno, so treat this as a oneshot for now, yeah?

Dream a little dream of me...

Who am I?

Aww, c'mon, don't pull this on me again. Yeah, I'm nobody. A Nobody. Something like that, at least. That's easy to answer, right? Although that sort of goes more under the heading of "WHAT am I?" it's the best answer you'll get out of me, really. So quit asking. And treating me like a stranger.

Quit it. And stop giving me that look. No hearts, got it memorized? So those big blues won't-

Fine, whatever. You know I'm Axel. That's the name I was given, and it's the only name I know. Actually, I know lots of names, but suddenly deciding to call myself 'Betty' won't do anyone any good. Look, see, now you're laughing. Knew I could get a grin.

I don't think I even look much like a Betty, anyway. That's Saix. Flora? That's just dumb. Why you'd even say that is beyond me. No, your somebody killed Marluxia. I just pulled a few strings. Fine. Maybe a Roxanne – oh, no, that's you. Oh, okay, now you're sulking again. Honestly, you take jokes worse than Vexen.

No, the thing with the bleach was your idea, remember? Oh, you don't. Keep forgetting the whole memory problem. No, it's not mine. That's not why I say that all the time! It's habit. Really, really, old habit. I don't know. Maybe Demyx's somebody was a mermaid…

No, I meant mermaid. And I'm not changing the subject, really. If you can't keep up….Anyway, he screams like a girl; you've heard him. Don't tell me you haven't heard him. Nevermind…we can stick a spider on his head next time he falls asleep.

Oh, and why aren't you here? You're gone, just like the rest of us, right? Or this some dumbass excuse to leave me again? Oh.

Yeah, I get it. You're him now, right? You found your somebody, so you're okay. That's good. It's kinda boring here, anyway. You'd hate it. Nothing to fight. And don't give me the I-just-want-a-normal-life crap, because it doesn't rub. Like hell! Yeah, I'm bored. How am I even talking to you, anyw- you're dreaming. Great. Means this'll just be a dream for you in the morning. What look?

Dream this, then.

Owww! What the hell was that for?

Yeah, of course it was unexpected. That was the whole point, blondie. What? No, I NEVER called anyone else that! Really!

Okay, now you're mad at me. Sorry?

Wow, yeah, I'm apologising. Pretty sure it's the end of the world for y-

….

…that was….okay. Didn't expect that. Why'd you do that? And if you say I'm adorable when I'm angry I'll feed you to Larxene, got it memorized?

No, I haven't said that twice. I'm sure I never threatened to feed you to Sparky before. What? Why are you laughing now? No, I've never called her that to her face. How dumb do you think I am? Don't answer that. And don't threaten to feed me to Kairi. What's she gonna do, braid my hair?

And paint my toenails. Right. Okay, you win, that's scary. Frosted pink is totally not my colour.

I'm no gayer than everyone else round here…what? What the hell are you doing now? No, don't wake up. Dammit, no. I won't let you.

I don't sound like a little kid. No, wait! I miss-

I want you here, you moron. Got it memorized?

A/N: That was...hell, I dunno. Something.

Here's the jingle, and here's what to do -

I've written, you've read, so read and review!