The Grim ED-ventures of Ed, Edd, n Eddy: The Beginning
By Winter Knight
Chapter 1: "Deal with a demon! Eddy does the unthinkable!"
Note: I do not own Ed, Edd, n Eddy nor "that Grim show"…
This is a prequel so This Story takes place days before the day Grim met the Eds...and it explains why Eddy hates demons and making deal with demons. Also this story may be dark but hey, anything to get your attention!
"Due to my strong personal convictions, I wish to stress that this fanfic in no way endorses Satanism."
-Neowinterknight-
(yes, this is a parody of the disclaimer from "Michael Jackson's Thriller")
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It was July, 2006, a time when the evil empire 4KIDS owned "One Piece", before "The Warden" created "SUPERJAIL", before Saul Malone met the molemen, the author was still with his girlfriend...and she was still alive at the time and not a evil hollow that works for the goddess of chaos named Eris, and nothing supernatural happened until one day when Eddy does the unthinkable...
Eddy ponders long and hard for a scam and then he decides to turn to the dark arts. Eddy then thinks "hmm... perhaps I need research for the greatest scam of my life..." So Eddy borrows alot of Ed's comic books and Double D's encyclopedia and despite the fact he hates learning and reading this new scam has to be done. And then Double D goes up to Eddy and asks him "Umm Eddy why do you need all these things for a scam, I thought you hate learning and reading." Eddy then says "THAT'SFORMETOKNOWANDYOUTOFINDOUTNOWOUTOUTOUT!" (for those who cannot understand Eddy's frantic yelling, he said "that's for me to know and you to find out now out out out!")
Eddy is then in a hood and has all the most evil things in the entire world he can use to summon a demon: The headlights of Charles Manson's family van, a Mcdonald's Big Mac, a photo of Rosanne Barr naked, DVDs of "Troll II" and "Manos the hands of fate", and the final sixth evil thing... a autographed copy of "Mein Kampft" (Hitler's book). How Eddy got those items is beyond me but he's desperate for making a scam work. The spell also needed a human sacrifice but Eddy can't kill anyone since this is the prequel so he invited some hooded kid from "South Park" and stabs him in the heart on the table and Eddy says "Big deal! He'll just come back to life in the next episode...Oh My goodness I killed Kenny, I'm a doodyhead! HAHAHA!"
After Eddy burns the 6 evil objects and the human sacrifice, it summoned a sketal demonic being... that resembled the typical Anime fan' biggest enemy... The demon then says "you dare summon me! what do you desire!" Eddy looked shocked and asked the creature "Why do you look like Alfred E. Khan and adults can't be seen in our world!" The Demon then says "I look like that dork because I'm evil that's why! and second, supernatural creatures cannot count as adults because...well...the author said so. Now... WHY HAVE YOU SUMMONED ME!!!" Eddy then says "I want to make a deal with you." I want to be the richest kid in the Cul-De-Sac, so rich that I don't have to scam ever again." The Demon then says "Well... I will grant you the power of King Midas in exchange of anything I ask of you." Eddy then says "Who's King Midas, I don't study history very well." The Demon then says "YOU IDIOT! THE SUBJECT IS MYTHOLOGY NOT HIST... well King Midas was a King of Greek mythology who was given the power to turn anything into gold with his mere touch, if you think that's weird the one who gave him the ability was Bacchus, the god of wine." Eddy then says "GOLD TOUCH! WHOO HOO! GIMMIE GIMMIE GIMMIE!" The Demon then says "Ok, sign here... IN BLOOD! and once your gold touch creates $666 million I will claim what you owe m..."Eddy interrupts and says "yeah yeah yeah! GIMMIE THE GOLD TOUCH!" The Demon then gives Eddy the power and after that he vanishes and everything is back to normal... or is it!
Eddy then picks up a history book and it turns to gold, Eddy is insanely grinning at the example of this new ability. Eddy then uses the power to turn all of his textbooks into gold and he says "I never did like homework anyway... I got a idea involving the trailer park...MUAHAHAHA!" Eddy then goes to the "Park n Flush Trailer Park" and yells out "HEY SKANKER SISTERS! TRAILER TRASH! AHAHAHA!" And then the Kanker Sisters May, Lee, and Marie jump out of their trailer and Lee says "My man looks like he has a death wish... LET'S GET HIM GIRLS!" and Eddy stands there grinning as the three girls make their move, as they kissed him, they scream as they turn into golden statues and Eddy said "HA! this is the one time one of my anti-Kanker plans actually worked! I wonder how much these three will go for in the jewelry store.
Double D and Ed were doing a scam involving "Cursed Fruits" but then Eddy shows up and Double D then says "Umm Eddy isn't usual for you to show up after we started a scam but where did you go?" Eddy then says "well I just got rid of the Kanker problem and made money out of it, so who wants to..." Ed then says "EDDY! BIG HUG FROM ED!" Eddy then dodges Ed and says "No Ed, don't touch me... I need a shower first..." Double D finds this weird and then he and Ed follow Eddy and find out what's going on. They see behind a window that Eddy is taking a show but the water is turning to gold as it hits Eddy, and after he's done with the shower they see the towel turn to gold and when Eddy puts on his usual clothes it turned to gold. Eddy then comes out of the house and Double D and Ed then see Eddy covered in gold and Eddy says "what's everybody looking at?" Double D then says "I know why you borrowed my books... you wanted to learn about King Midas huh?" Eddy then says "Ummm...YEAH THAT'S THE TICKET!" Ed then says "But Eddy, why did you borrow my comic books?" Eddy then says "umm I wanted to get bitten by a radioactive goldbug in order to get this power... getting bitten by a radioactive Silverfish will just give me the silver touch!" Eddy then touches Double D's hat and it turns to gold and then he touched Ed's jacket, turning it into gold and he says "This would shut you guys up, now I'm going to get more gold this way... AHAHAHAHA!" Double D and Ed then walk away and Eddy then continues his gold touching spree.
Double D and Ed then go to Eddy's room and to their suprise they see books on the dark arts and Ed's horror comics...not to mention school textbooks that are turned to gold. Double D then sees the gold textbooks and says "HOW DARE EDDY TO DO THIS TO INNOCENT TEXT BOOKS!" and Ed looks frightened and taps Double D's shoulder and he points to what looks like the Kanker Sisters, turned into gold statues. Double D then says "rapscallions or not, we got to restore them back to normal somehow... WE GOT TO GET EDDY BACK OR ELLSE SOMETHING WORSE HAPPENS!!!"
Meanwhile Eddy sees Kevin and he says "Hey "shovelchin" I'm richer than you!" Kevin then says "yeah right dork, I've already went through that scam once." Eddy then says "you keep calling me dork...are you compensating something?" Kevin blushes and says "SHUT UP DO... I mean WEINE... I mean...you got me there Eddy!" Eddy then touches Kevin's hat and it turns to gold, the extra weight on the hat makes Kevin fall to the ground while Eddy laughs and walks to the candy store. Double D and Ed then run to where Eddy might be at and then he sees Sarah, turned to gold while Jimmy hides in the bushes, Double D then says "I should've seen that coming." Ed then panics and says "BABY SISTER! EDDY TURNED YOU INTO A HOOD ORNIMATE FOR A TACKY CAR!" Jimmy then says "Eddy is possessed by a supernatural force, please help Sarah!" Double D then says "Don't worry Jimmy, we'll get everything back to order but first, where did Eddy go? Jimmy says "Actually, he carried alot of golden object and is going to town with it, I guess he's finally going to get jawbreakers after all." Ed and Double D run to the Candy store and they notice Johnny is carrying a golden plank and Johnny says "I don't know if I should keep you like this or sell you buddy...DARN THAT EDDY!" Double D then says "we're almost close to him Ed! (pulls out Eddy's underwear and Ed sniffs it) NOW ED, AFTER THAT SCENT!" and off they went...
Eddy makes it to the candy store and then comes out with 3 jawbreakers and then Double D and Eddy show up and Eddy says "umm... Like I said, I was caught in a gold gamma bomb and that's how I got that new power." Ed then says "No you didn't Eddy, you got bitten by a radioactive goldbug!" and Double D then says "FUN'S OVER MISTER! WE KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO THOSE INNOCENT PEOPLE...TURN THEM BACK!" Eddy then says "No way! they deserved it, and besides I made enough money to buy the whole Candy store! I got jawbreakers for all of you!" Double D and Eddy then get their jawbreakers but as Eddy is about to put it in his mouth it turned into gold, it shocked him so much he took Ed's jawbreaker and it turned into gold, Eddy was so shocked and Double D then says "You didn't read the story huh? King Midas may have the power to turn object into gold with his touch... but he was unable to eat and drink and this was unbearable...but the worse thing about his touch was..." Eddy interrupts him by saying "So it was a minor setback...at least I'm rich! and if I'm rich then... NAZZ CAN BE MY GIRLFRIEND!"
Unfortunately, Nazz was in the next block and Eddy rushes up to her and Nazz says "Hi Eddy, what's up? normally you would be nervous around me, what's the occasion?" Eddy then says "I'm now rich and Kevin kept compensating that he has a little dork, so you can be my girlfriend now!" Nazz gets shocked by this and she says "Umm... Eddy I dunno an..." Before Nazz can say anything Eddy Kisses Nazz and then she turns into a terrified gold statue and Eddy then says "... Not only I can't eat, drink, and slurp jawbreakers, but I can't even date or kiss a girl...WHAT HAVE I DONE!!!!" Before Double D and Ed can say anything, a crimson mist appears and he hears a voice that says "Wanna know what you did... YOU WENT OVER $666 MILLION DOLLARS...NOW THE DEAL IS COMPLETE...YOU'RE MINE!" A dark vortex opens up and Eddy is about to be sucked into it and he's holding on to a street lamp, Double D goes up to the Demon and says "Ok you Alfred E. Khan look-a-like, what is the meaning of this and what are you going to do with the people Eddy turned into golden statues?" The Demon then says "Look at this contract he signed...WRITTEN IN BLOOD!...oh and I will own the souls of the Kankers, Sarah, Nazz, and that plank of wood just for kicks just for being victims of my dark magic but I mostly want the soul of that greedy son-of-a-gun! his soul has "greed" written all over it!" Double D then says "Well you have no right for taking the others...Eddy didn't mean it! he's just a dim-witted neanderthal who's only things in life that makes him happy are money and "pin-up magazines"... he has a right for a fair trial because something isn't right!" The Demon then says "You have guts under that golden hat of yours...But I don't want to loose that greedy, selfish, and perverted soul!..Ok, I'll agree to this trial just for kicks but you better do alot of reading because I predict you will fail in saving the souls of your friends. The trial will begin(To Eddy) As for you meat...YOU WILL SPEND A DAY IN HFIL!!! THE HOME FOR INFINATE LOSERS!" Eddy then says "OH NO! NOT THERE! ANYTHING BUT...Isn't it supposed to be Hel..." The Demon says "WHAT ARE YOU DOING! I MAY BE A DEMON BUT I CENSOR ALOT OF THINGS INCLUDING ANIME BUT THAT WORD IS UNACCEPTABLE SO IT'S HFIL...UNDERSTAND!" and So the Demon takes Eddy with him and vanish into HFIL...
Meanwhile Double D reads alot of books on Law and trying to find technicallities and loopholes to save Eddy as well as those who were turned into golden statues while Ed plays with the gold statues his own "special way"...
Ed: would you like some tea Baby sister?
"Sarah": Yes big brother, I certainly do! I love my big brother!"
Ed: now about you May Kanker?
"May": Thank you so much "Big Ed" you are so cool!
"Lee": Ed kicks rear!
"Marie" I'm hungry, can I have some gravy cakes?
(Ed smears a gravy cake on Marie's face and then he draws on Sarah, May, Lee and Marie's faces just for fun, making them look like members of KISS and then Ed sings a little bit of "rock and roll all night")
"Nazz": Like, I like your company Ed, let's watch "Forbidden Zone", "Creepshow", and "Dead Alive" while we hold hands (Ed tries to imitate her laugh)
Ed: COOL! I HOPE YOU GUYS STAY LIKE THIS FOREVER!
Double D then says "No Ed! It's not right! They can't be like this! We got to reverse the spell and get Eddy out of HFIL! I hope Eddy's alright wherever he's at...
EDDY'S GOING TO HAVE A HOT TIME IN THE OLD TOWN TONIGHT! WHAT HAPPENS TO EDDY? WILL DOUBLE D WIN THE CASE OF THE CENTURY? FIND OUT IN NEXT TIME FOR IT IS THE LAST CHAPTER OF THIS PREQUEL TO "THE GRIM ED-VENTURES OF ED, EDD, N EDDY!" Since it's a prequel of course they win...