Sometimes, he gets mad at her.

He likes to think he's always been a pretty chill guy, but ever since she died, it was like something in him died. When he threw that guy into the turbofan, it was one of the most disgusting things he'd never have imagined himself doing, but still he did it. It was without thought, without feeling—and after it, there was no rush of satisfaction. Revenge didn't mean anything, killing that guy didn't mean anything, because it didn't change the fact that she wasn't there with him. It didn't change the fact that she was gone. It was like any morality and humanity left in him disappeared, gone along with his heart, following her to her grave. He walked around feeling like there was no more reason left for living, and he blames her for that, because he loved her so much that when she was gone, it was like he was gone, too.

Sometimes, he gets mad at Dom. He never shows it, of course, not when Dom's much more content now that everything's worked out for him. But Dom got Letty back, and he didn't have his one true love. For months after, he'd hoped and prayed and begged for a miracle. If Letty could come back from the 'dead', why couldn't she? He'd seen the relief on the others' faces when Dom had survived the wreckage, walking out of the pile of burning metal like some godforsaken demon, escaping death yet again; but he'd felt nothing. Dom had survived, and she hadn't. Sometimes, he blamed Dom for getting them into this mess in the first place. Not everyone had the incredible run of luck and habit of defying death like Dominic Toretto did, and he had lost her because of his loyalty to Dom.

Sometimes, he gets mad at Letty. Dom wouldn't have been called his team out of 'retirement' if it hadn't been for Letty. No matter how much Hobbs would have pleaded, bribed, or threatened Dom, Dom wouldn't have gone anywhere if Hobbs hadn't shown him the picture of Letty. It might have looked like they were trying to help Hobbs get to the bottom of this thing, but really the whole point of the last job had been to get Letty back. Now Letty was back, Dom was happy, Mia was happy, Brian was happy. Their mission had been successful, they had won, but he had lost something. He had lost someone. And he wouldn't have lost her if they hadn't been cornered in Tokyo and a policewoman hadn't thrown a mobile phone to him and if Dom hadn't been on the phone telling him about Letty being alive.

Sometimes, he gets mad at Shaw. If Shaw hadn't had Letty, they wouldn't even have cared so much about their mission. If Shaw hadn't been such a criminal mastermind, if Shaw didn't have a killer team and all his resources at his pretty little fingertips, any mission against him would have been much easier and wouldn't have cost as much as it did. If Shaw hadn't cornered them with blackmail, threatening Mia and the baby, Dom wouldn't have had to let Shaw go, and all their efforts to catch Shaw wouldn't have gone to waste. Everything would have ended with Shaw and they'd have been able to go home, intact and whole. The two of them could have gone to Tokyo, like they'd always talked about. But Shaw had been a much better chess player than any of them had ever expected, and everything fell apart.

But more than being mad at all of them, he's mad at himself. Because he should have saved her, not let her go. Because he'd almost had a future with her, and it had all slipped right through his clumsy fingers. But most of all, he gets mad at himself because his life had meant more to her than her own. And he hates that, because without her, his life—her sacrifice, which should mean so much—is really worth jack fucking squat.

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