Disclaimer: I don't own that FMA and I sing it in my own way!

Just Another Freaking Friday

Hawkeye sighed and looked absentmindedly at his folder. Should he even bother bringing it in into the office? It wasn't as if the colonel would read it. She would be too busy not working, just like every Friday night.

"Hey Hawkeye, what are you waiting for?" Havoc asked as she peeped around his elbow to look at the file. "The chief could stand to lose a few minutes of her precious hair fluffing time. Just think, if she started getting circles under her eyes from working hard I might have a chance at keeping a date."

Havoc sighed and flicked her unruly bangs out of her eyes. Hawkeye eyed her cigarette with distain and reached into his jacket towards his holster. Havoc quickly took it out while looking pale and put it out in the ash tray on her desk. "Look, it's already out!"

"No! Breda, how many times have we been over this? The pant-tail does not make you look fat," Fuery said from across the room.

Hawkeye looked over at the trio coming into the communal office. Fuery's large rimmed glasses magnified her eyes, making her look really young in combination with her cactus like pony tails.

Falman spoke next. "She's right. It isn't the uniform but the large amount of fat you have around your mid section. If you had followed the diet I had regimented then this wouldn't be a problem."

Breda sighed dramatically and sat at her desk with a huff. "That's not fair! You know how I binge eat when my monthly friend visits!"

"Yes," Falman said without hesitation, "but that doesn't last everyday for the amount of years I've known you. If you want a more attractive body you need to change your life style."

Hawkeye shuddered and walked towards his colonel's door. He was about to knock when it flung open.

"Where is Fullmetal?" She demanded looking rather fierce. Her black eyes danced in rage from beneath her short black hair.

Hawkeye tilted his head to the side while thinking then said, "She and her sister went to the mess not long ago. Why?"

Mustang pulled on her gloves and stormed out of the office with a flick of her pant-tail. Hawkeye could hear her heels clicking all the way down the hall. He paused for a moment, unsure what happened when a faint giggling erupted behind him. Havoc was sitting on her desk, panted legs crossed with a good grin.

"What did you do Havoc?"

"Oh nothing."

Hawkeye pulled out his gun in one swift motion. Havoc backed up quickly to escape the weapon and ended up on the floor in a heap of papers. She held her hands up in surrender from her trapped floor position and smiled around yet another cigarette. "I didn't do anything! I only mentioned to the boss that the chief had a fake drawer in her desk. That's all!"

"And what's in that drawer? Top secret documents?"

"I'm sure that's what the boss thought too but I swear I never thought she'd take it."

Hawkeye cocked his gun impatiently. "Take what?"

"Mustang's lucky thong, she never goes on a date without it."

Hawkeye knew then and there he hated working with only women. There was just no sanity to the lot of them.

A/N: This one escaped the vault. I couldn't stop it. Oh well, I need something light and fluffy to content myself with. Don't we all? So in case you didn't notice, everyone's gender is switched. YAY!

-rix the demon