Hot Damn: Writers edit. Take 1.

Dear Readers,

If you have stumbled across this fan fiction and found interest in it then good for you. If you've already read the Original Hot Damn and sitting there thinking, 'What the hell is this?' the answer is, this is my 'rewrite' of Hot Damn. Yes, it still follows the same story like as the original but I just had to come back and do some rewrites and such to try and make it better or I swear to God that it would come back and haunt me someday. So don't worry, some of your favorite lines or scenes and such are still here. I didn't replace the chapters in the originals with the new ones since I'd hate to tarnish my first creation. That's just another way of me saying I was LAZY. So I hope you have the patience to reads these once more and supply more reviews, constructive criticism or not, they are welcome. So I say, good luck (because I hope your brains don't melt and gush out of your ears and nose all over your desk) and enjoy (because I really hope you do).

Until my next long-winded rant,

De'Letris.

Disclaimers + Warnings: As per usual rightful owners, safety of readers, blah, blah, blah.

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One: I hate Monday mornings

There are things that some people find unbearable, ghastly even. Like finding gum dry, sticky and stuck with an unpleasant color on the bottom of a pair of your new shoes or getting splashed with mud water as you walk along the sidewalk because some idiot decided he'd drive extra close to the curb that day.

How does this relate to the story you ask? Because, it all starts on a very bright Monday morning with our resident psycho.

Oh how he loathed Monday mornings. Actually he pretty much loathed everything. Well except Soba. Anything else he pretty much hated to a T. Yes sir, Yuu Kanda was not a morning person. The sun? It can go shine its fucking happy rays of sunshine somewhere else. Somewhere that's not through his apartment window, which to much dismay faces directly in the direction in which the sun rises every morning. How could you not hate the sun? If Kanda could he'd put it out of his misery. Oh don't be distressed about vitamin D; it's called Sunny D and vitamin supplements.

7:00am and Kanda was grumpy. He just wanted to go grab some coffee and head to his classes so he can get on with life and not look forward to tomorrow.

He walked along the streets avoiding the crowds adjusting his messenger bag strap to avoid it from falling off his shoulder. How he hated crowds. But, hell, he hated a lot of things remember? He walked to his daily coffee shop where he got his morning coffee so he wouldn't be grouchy because the sun woke him up but still grumpy because it's Monday.

Indeed the 'Innocence Café' was small but warm and welcoming. Its sign hangs overhead in big neat cursive letters made out of some industry fabricated material. A large window stretching across the front letting curious passer-bys to peer in to see what was so great about the place that had people swarming in and out. The interior was just as nice as the outside, there were some booths in the back for privacy and the rest of the room was furnished with tables, chairs, vibrantly colored paintings, a bookshelf, a small fireplace and a big couch pushed near it. The counter was off to the right side of the room near the door and all the workers were polite and happy to some extent that their little brains would allow. Completely clashes with Kanda right?

So why, you ask, would he even go near the place? Because, the Innocence Café was the only one near his residence that was reasonably priced; unlike Starbucks or Second Cup with their expensive but tastes-better-than-Tim Horton's black gunk. And never would Kanda step into a Tim Horton's anyways, bad memories, he never touched another doughnut again.

The little bell above the door rang gently turning a few curious heads as he opened the door and stepped in. The place wasn't that filled since not many people knew about the place but it gets enough customers to support the small café. The customers were usually regulars or people on vacation and such. Kanda made his was towards the counter a grim scowl dead set on his face. He looked down idly at his watch.

It was now 7:15am.

"What can I get for you?" A voice asked that Kanda didn't recognize. It was soft but loud and confident; it was laced with an accent, British maybe. He bent his head down the tiniest bit so he could get a look at the owner of the voice. What he got was white hair, gray eyes (that looked way too innocent making the…person look 10), and one nasty looking scar down the left eye. Kanda didn't flinch though, he'd seen worse…a lot worse. He wasn't an old man…or a girl; just a really weird looking…person.

"Um…sir? Can I get you anything?" The person repeated himself furrowing his brows in confusion.

"One medium black coffee." Kanda said automatically cursing mentally for staring. The boy rang his order and Kanda paid as the boy went off to fetch his order.

Usually it was the stupid rabbit that was at the counter.

"AH! YUU-PON!" Kanda twitched. He just had to go and jinx it, didn't he?

Stupid Rabbit…

"YUU!"

Ignore him.

"YUU! YUU! YUU! YUU!"

Damned rabbit.

"Don't call me by my first name you stupid rabbit." He growled.

"Aww! Yuu-pon's being all nasty! ANYWAYS! Have you met Allen? He's just the most adorable thing! HEY ALLEN!" Lavi rambled. Kanda swore he saw bunny ears stick out of the ecstatic red head. It was amazing that the redhead even breathed, let alone remember to.

Lavi was on the list of 'Kanda's great long list of things he hates'. Crazy idiot's hair was red and pushed up with a bandana. He wore an eye patch over his right eye. Nobody knew if he even had an eye under there. Kanda stood by his theory that Lavi fell asleep with a fork in his hand and he stabbed himself.

"What is it?" The white haired boy came back with his order.

"Have you met Yuu?" Lavi asked happily radiating off this beaming horror of bright lights.

Oh and Kanda also hated people who were always so fucking happy. It's like the plague.

"You? Course I've met you Lavi." The boy, presumably Allen replied.

"NO! Not you I meant Yuu!" He pointed at the Japanese only to find he was walking away with his order that he had snatched from Allen.

"Ah! Yuu! Come back here!" Lavi complained. He hurriedly jumped over the counter almost tripping over his apron latching onto Kanda's arm.

"Let. Me. Go. You. Stupid. Rabbit." Kanda gritted out glaring threateningly at Lavi.

"Why such an angry face, Yuu? You can't be mad a t lil' old me, can you? I'm lovable!" The redhead teased with a grin. "Now come over here and greet Al, like a civilized person, you dig?"

"One, yes, I am absolutely capable of being angry at you. Two, you're not lovable, just annoying. Three, civilized is overrated and four, did you just use the phrase, 'you dig?' like some hippie before and after taking an acid trip?" Kanda stated looking mildly disturbed. Lavi could totally fit in with hippies, no joke.

"Whatever man, you just totally killed the mood." Lavi rolled his eyes—eye and pulled a very reluctant Kanda to the counter.

"Al, why don't you set a civilized example and start?" Lavi suggested not letting go of the Japanese male who was glaring daggers at both of the two shorter males. Okay so Lavi was like, an inch shorter but the other guy was like…short.

"Sure…" Allen drawled cautiously. "My name's Allen, Allen Walker. And you are?"

Kanda was torn over whether to just punch both their smiling faces in and leave or just…leave.

"And I'm busy." He decided to play it 'safe' as much as he hated to. He turned around on his heels, his dark ebony locks followed, and pushed the door open walking out without a second thought.

"I'll see you in class later than!" Lavi called after him waving stupidly.

Allen stood there shaking slightly with his smile faltering.

"Yuu-pon takes time to get to know. But I'm sure you'll warm up to him!" Lavi said still grinning but not as big as before.

"R-right." Allen smiled lightly. He was going to need a lot of time.

Kanda sipped on his coffee and glanced at his watch again.

It was now 7:27am Monday morning.

Oh how he loathed Monday mornings.