Okay guys, this has not had the approved eye of a beta, so try to ignore any spelling/grammar mistakes I make! It's a lot of Merthur fluff and nothing else.
Arthur had spent the day comforting Guinevere, she had cried and he had held her and patiently waited till the tears had stopped and only left when she had asked for some time alone. He'd forgotten about the knights loss at the time to occupied with the crying woman hanging on his shoulder and more unforgivably he'd forgotten Merlin.
So when he left Guinevere's house and found Merlin on the training yard with a sword, swinging viciously at some kind of dummy - he was so surprised that he stopped dead in his tracks. It was raining heavily and the sky was too dark for the summer season they were in. Thunder cried as Merlin struck another fatal blow to the fake enemy's heart, lightening flashed in the sky as if to empathises the fighting boys mood like the weather and Merlin were together in there feelings. Arthur watched as Merlin screamed another battle call and hit the dummy and another flash of light erupted like Merlin had asked the weather to help him, to help him with his pain.
When Arthur eventually got over the scene he approached his friend with caution aware of the fact Merlin with a sword was never a good idea.
"Merlin." Arthur announced his presence.
Said person spun round to his name only to miss analyse the swords weight and cut his shoulder, the rain causing the blood to streak down his arm. Merlin kept his grip on the sword staring down at the wound and then back up Arthur.
Merlin's face was un naturally pale. His hair was flattened from the rain and dripping droplets onto the boys long eyelashes. His expression was constructed in pain and held a kind of sorrow that pierced Arthur's heart. Yet he paid no attention to the blood decorating his arm, that kind of hurt wasn't physical.
"Merl." Arthur repeated his voice hushed using the nickname he'd adopted towards him. "I need you to put the sword down for me, can you do that?"
Arthur stepped forward and froze when he saw Merlin's fingers tighten on the handle but then he released the sword, falling to the ground along with it, crumbling in to a heap of sobs. The rain falling vast and thicker then before crying along with him.
God he'd been so stupid. Lancelot was Merlin's best friend. This is were Arthur should have been, not with Guinevere who wanted him there but with Merlin his hopeless Merlin who needed him there. He flopped onto the ground besides his friend and scoped him up on his lap, stroking his hair and offering useless words of comfort, occasionally dabbing at the cut stretched on his arm.
"He can't be gone, he cant. He was my best friend. I can't lose him." Merlin chocked between sobs.
"I know. I know. Shhh now." Arthur repeated again and again pulling him closer.
"Why couldn't I die instead?" Merlin whispered and Arthur stopped dead in his tracks.
"Don't you ever - ever say that again." Arthur shouted over the thunder, cupping Merlin's face in his hands
"Do you hear me?"
"No one would miss me." Merlin explained. "Maybe Gaius but Lance, Lance was the only one who cared."
"Are you serious?" Arthur asked pulling back to search Merlin's face and tugging at the boy when he refused to meet his eyes.
"God ,you really think that don't you? You really have no idea what effect you have on people do you?" he said in disbelief.
"Don't bullshit me Arthur - not today, today I'm not safe." Merlin warned a dangerous tone to his voice as thunder rumbled breaking into the atmosphere as if to protect him.
"YOUR SO ABSURB." Arthur yelled jumping up, yanking Merlin to his feet in the process. "You really think no one would care? What about Gwaine, does he mean nothing to you?"
"DON'T YOU DARE ACCUSE ME OF NOT CARING." Merlin protested back " I CARE, THE POINT IS I CARE TOO MUCH ARTHUR AND WHO'S THERE TO CARE FOR ME?"
"EVERYONE." Arthur shouted "Gwaine, god if you died right now Merlin , Gwaine would leave. Don't you think I know he hasn't pledged his loyalty to me? He pledged it to you Merlin, he follows you and he would die for you again and again. You're the only one he cared enough for to stop running from tavern to tavern. He stopped running for you and he stayed for you. You're his family Merlin, you're his brother"
Merlin looked at the floor then and Arthur noticed the rain had slowed so he continued.
"What about Percival and Leon. Who talk about how great you are every day. Leon who was born of noble blood and has been taught to not acknowledge servants his whole life yet talks and treats you as if you were another knight because in their eyes you are."
The rain barley visible now, encouraging Arthur to go on.
"Gwen?" Arthur questioned realising he was getting Merlin's attention when the boy looked up just as the rain completely stopped. " She loves you every inch as much as she loves her own blood brother."
Merlin stepped closer and opened his mouth to speak but he wasn't finished yet.
"Maybe Gaius? Maybe? God you are his son Merlin and I know dam well he is the father you've dreamt of. The fierce love he has for you is undying. He cares for you more then he has cared for anyone in his life time" Arthur gushed his voice horse from shouting and pleading.
Arthur reached forward until he was inches away from Merlin and studied his face. The pain was still there, Lance not completely forgotten but there was some kind of recognition there like he was trying to believe every word Arthur said.
"And what about me?" Arthur finally asked, tugging Merlin closer so there foreheads rested together.
"Because I can't lose you Merl, you're the only thing that matters in my life. Because if you died in his place, a part of me would of died. Because Merlin if you weren't the one to wake me up with that beautiful annoyingly cheery smile, I wouldn't want to wake up. Not ever, not if you weren't in my life. Because Merlin, I love you" Arthur confessed and then without waiting for permission tipped is lips up to meet Merlin's, giving the last explanation he could give.
"Now If you'd be so kind, could you make the weather behave?" Arthur teased leaning in to kiss his well boy friend again and finally coaxing a reply movement underneath his own lips.
The sky cleared and the sun pulsed down on them and Arthur broke the kiss to laugh tipping his head back as he did so.
"It's night time magic boy" he said looking up in time to see the sky be replaced with a velvet blue the moon shining a translucent silver lighting up the castle grounds.
"Its beautiful isn't it the moon?" Merlin asked his voice cracked revealing the details of just how much he'd cried
"Breath taking" Arthur replied his eyes on Merlin's face illuminating him in a soft glow.
"I love you Arthur" Merlin whispered perhaps so Arthur himself wouldn't hear but he grinned all the same.
"It's hard not too" Arthur said placing a cheeky kiss onto Merlin cheek and grabbing his hand to tug him into a walk.
"Prat" Merlin said but laughed leaving it with out conviction.
"Arh, but now I'm your prat" Arthur laughed along taking it in his stride.
"Like you were any body else's" he heard but chose to ignore.
"And I had nothing to do with the weather" Merlin said seriously like he hadn't just changed the sun into a moon at Arthur's request.
"Oh please, I guessed you had magic along time ago Merl" Arthur scoffed and then catching Merlin's expression added " This is a topic for later, oh don't look like that It's not like I'm going to excruciate you."
"Could you add a few more stars?" Arthur begged barley getting the words out before he watched as new lights were added to the sky displaying a pattern of a dragon.
"Impressive, okay maybe a shooting star?" Arthur asked excitedly and watched as one shot across the sky displaying a rainbow of colours.
"Oh wait could you turn the moon red?" Arthur questioned looking expectedly to the sky.
" Your like a five year old" Merlin said giggling and Arthur relaxed at the sound.
"But you love me anyway" he said smiling at how right it all was.
"Yes I do, may the gods help me" Merlin said squeezing Arthur's hand as the moon glistened red above.