Title: As The Darkness Fades
Pairings/Characters: Clark And Lois
Spoilers: Well this is pretty much a little two part story based off spoilers and speculation for the episode of "Quest," however, I don't think there are any major things that LOIS, would know about, that could be in "Quest," but whatever… Ooo, and there will be hints of a Clois relationship, so just pretend with me that Lana is still in a whole lot of pain, and that Clark and Lois, got together over the loss of their loved ones, cause Chloe tried healing Lana, only to get them both stuck in a coma… That's about all of the spoiler/kneed to know, stuff…
Rating: PG-13, I have a teensy bit of a potty mouth, get the soap guys.
Summary: When Clark starts handing out final goodbyes, Lois is trapped in personal turmoil. Her problems only seem to get worse as she ponders over her life, the mistakes she's made, and if she'll even be able to 'pull a Clark' and find forgiveness. Kinda Angsty, FYI.
Disclaimer: IF, you are stupid enough to believe that I own any of this crap- the stuff that belongs to Al/Miles- then you should go bang your head against some nearby extremely dense- denser than you- surface a couple more times.
As The Darkness Fades (1/2):
"Clark," the name sounded foreign on her trembling lips. "You're leaving me." It wasn't a question, and it wasn't a statement either. It was the last plea of a desperate woman, her failed attempt to keep her emotions in check, while her body screamed to show him how much she truly cared. But such moments, when the girl professes her undying love towards the man, never ended -in real life- the way they did in movies. In a chick flick, the girl and the guy would buy the perfect house in the suburbs, maintain the ideal relationship, have the hot sex, and manage to give birth to the 2.5 little angels to accompany them down their wonderful lives. But then again, what did you expect from a chick flick? The guy to just shoot down the girl without so much as a reason, and then for him to have the audacity to tell you (not ten hours, a tub of Ben and Jerry's, and an incredibly sappy chick flick later) that despite the fact that your heart had already been through a beating, that he was going to leave as soon as the darkness faded, and the sun replaced the emptiness the loss of the moon created. He had the audacity to inform her that he was going to be gone by morning.
She felt as empty as the sky would.
She didn't want to care for him. In fact, if she could turn back time she would, without a second thought, change the events of the evening, all those years ago, when she first found him in a cornfield. She'd make sure that she had never taken a step inside of the Smallville border…
Her cousin had just been declared dead, and while any normal person would accept this bad news in stride, and eventually move on, Lois Lane, was certainly not like most people. She didn't sit around and mope, she got out there and found the truth. She frowned at how lame that sounded and then returned in her valiant effort of attempting to find the Kent Farm. Apparently, Chlo had befriended Clark Kent, a major dork, if you asked her. Since apparently this Clark kid lived and breathed 'farm.' Her cousin had been in love with this weirdo since like she was fourteen, and while Lois couldn't see the practicality in wedding a farm boy, but apparently Chlo could pull something great about this guy out of her ass. While she loved her cuz deeply, she was going to have to go the tough love route on this one, with all the "his eyes, Lo, you should see his eyes," and Chlo always seemed to love this one, "Lo, he is so muscular!!' and even the occasional, "he could totally be a swimsuit model," that came out of her cuz' mouth. It was a wonder Chlo hadn't made Ben and Jerry's extinct in this small town. Though, Lois didn't see how a farm boy could live up to such expectations, she'd watched that reality show on the CW, "Farmer Wants A Wife," and all that it took was two minutes of, "he's probably a freak in bed," to turn her away from that show, and farmers, for life.
"Incompetent," she muttered in a harsh whisper while slamming down her cell, she hated this town already, you couldn't even get decent cellular reception, let alone a decent operator, competent enough to supply directions to a fucking farm. I mean, come on, it was a farm how hard could it be to find a farm? After deciding, that it couldn't be hard at all, she blasted the stereo as loud as it could go, attempting to distract herself from the sounds of thunder and the streaks of lightning, that filled the night air.
Lois swerved to avoid a bolt of lightning that had struck a few feet above her, and she just managed to avoid being electrocuted. When she looked up from the steering wheel, she was awed by a blinding light that seemed to come from the merging of three lightning bolts. Small fires were scattered across the damn field, another reason she hated Smallville, she was really going to have to make a list of these things, and she was pretty certain that veering off into a field would be pretty high up there.
She cautiously stepped out of her vehicle; cursing the fact that she forgot her gun, the one that Uncle Sam had given her for Christmas, at home. When a man, a stark naked man, comes into her line of sight, her only thought was, "farm boy doesn't have anything on him." She snapped out of the dirty thoughts that followed that comment in time to ask him if he was okay. She mentally berated herself, "Of course he's not okay, he's in a fucking field. He's naked in a fucking field." He was probably just released from the psyche ward, Lois concluded, with all her cousin had told her about this freaky little hamlet, it was surprising that the town hadn't changed their name to Looneyville. Not that she believed in any of the stuff her cousin wrote about, cause she was definitely not a believer, but she believed her cousin believed. Lois also agreed that a whole lot of shit went down in that town.
"Hey, what's your name?"
"I don't know," the man answered, his voice detached.
"I'm going to go and get a blanket," She gestured towards his naked body and then turned around.
"Hey," he called, "who are you?"
"My name is Lois. Lois Lane." By the time she had answered his questions, the blanket she had retrieved from her trunk was lying securely at his hipbone.
It was at that moment that she realized she was utterly alone. Even the farm boy, whom she had found at the side of the road, on that stormy night, would be leaving her. Her dad had left her, her mum had left her, her sister had left her, her cousin had left her, and now Clark had left her too.
With the General, Lois hadn't been all that devastated when he left her in that desolate town so she could find Chlo's killer. He never really visited her, he was never really in her life, now wasn't that different than before. Except for the fact that she was currently in Smallville and not residing in an army base. When her mum had died, he had slowly drifted apart form everything that was sane, and had began a downward spiral into this monster she didn't even recognize. After which time she was forced to raise her little sister Lucy. She hated him for that. For not being there for her, for choosing work over them, and then for offering Lucy a way out, while she was stuck at the base, drinking beer and playing cards with the guys. It was no way for a girl to grow up, and she was happy when he had just left her there, in fact she had pretty much insisted upon it. However, she hadn't expected him to just give in, without so much as a fight. Chlo, her dear cousin, had been in the hospital for the past few days. She was in a coma, hooked up to a breathing system, an I.V., hooked to her arm. She hadn't meant to, Chlo hadn't meant to leave her, it just happened. And it was happening again, this time with Clark.
It seemed that the Sullivan-Lane girls were cursed to be abandoned by everyone that they loved.
"Lo-" The man next to her began, years ago she would have never called him a man, to her he was just Smallville, but now he was leaving, and she wasn't sure if she had a name for this guy that was sitting next to her, so she kept thinking of him as this man. He wasn't her farm boy anymore; he wasn't that detached man she had found in the cornfield either. He was just a man, one who was going to pay his dues.
"Don't sugar coat it Clark," She spat out the words, like they were battery acid, and she hoped they burned him as much as they did her. "You are leaving me, period, end of story."
"Lo-" He began again, tears swelling in his eyes, she was on the verge of tears too, despite her best efforts. Her attempts to keep her own eyes from swelling were lackluster, and a tear trickled down her cheek. He moved his thumb over the bead of liquid that stained her face, and entwined the fingers of both hands through the locks around her temples. Forcing her to look up into his pleading eyes. Her gaze reluctantly shifted to him, and she swallowed the dry lump that formed in her throat. "I don't want to leave you, I would give anything to stay here with you."
"Why do I sense a but coming?" She whispered in a wavering voice.
"I need to pay my dues Lo, I need to find where I belong in this world."
"You belong here Clark," she told him, her tone louder than before. "You belong with me."
"I wish it could be that simple, Lo."
"Why can't it be?" She questioned him while turning her head, self-consciously, as more tears began to pour down her face. He again raised her face towards him, and she became aware of the sunlight that gnawed at the darkness of night.
"Because, Lo, because it just can't. The good things in life are never simple, the things we come to cherish the most, take time and patience to form."
"We have time Clark, all of the time in the world." She stood up from where she sat on the loft sofa, and walked over to the side of the barn, which overlooked the rest of the farm. The stars were slowly beginning to fade, along with them went her heart, which was breaking just as fast, if not faster than before, when he had told her that nothing could ever happen between the two of them. That it couldn't be more than a sour friendship of people who both wanted to cross that boundary from friend to something more where stopped, by an imaginary force, from ever doing so. She grasped onto the sides of the barn, and peered out into the night sky. Wishing she could be out there, wishing she could be an onlooker to life, instead of something living. Wishing she could just float away, without a care in the world.
"Lo-" Again with the Lo, she thought distractedly, while gazing at his lips. He had chosen to follow her to where she was standing and she couldn't help the fact that she wanted to thread her fingers through his thick black hair. "Stop it" She mentally cursed herself, "Its not going to happen, get over yourself."
"Just let me have this moment Smallville." She used the name she had called him so many times, and staring into his eyes, her arms around his neck, it had never felt more right. She was glad that she had been there in Smallville; they had had their moments, some good and some bad. But it was moments like these, that reminded her of why she belonged in Smallville, why she belonged with him.
Their lips met in a passionate fury, neither willing to let go. Her body was pressed flush against his, and she clung to his neck in an effort to make sure that this was real, that he wasn't an illusion, and to ensure that he wasn't going to be gone when she opened her eyes again. He parted her mouth, as did she, and their tongues dueled with one another, while his hands roamed the small of her back, and she ruffled his hair. When the distinct sound of a rooster in the distance could be heard by the couple he parted from her and gazed into her orbs for a moment to catch his breath before speaking the last of his good-byes.
"Lo, I don't know how long I'll be gone," his forehead was pressed against hers, and with each word he spoke her spine tingled in an anticipation, that she also concluded was dread. "I love you Lo, more than I've ever loved anyone before, and I'll be back. I'll come back for you, since I never wanted to leave you in the first place. Even if you don't wait for me, I'll find you, to seek closure, if for no other reason."
"You promise you'll find me?"
"I promise. But now, I have to go, and trust me when I say this, I don't want this anymore than you do, but there isn't any other way. I love you Lo, don't you ever forget it." With one last kiss, he hurried out of the barn.
"I love you too," she whispered, though she knew he wouldn't hear her.
The sky reddened in anticipation of the sun, as the last pools of milky light were drawn from the moon, which had rescinded with a new destination in mind. The sun continued its ascent, a slow and steady journey to the top of the sky. Streams of light, ranging in hues from blue to pink, filled the emptiness that had befallen after the illuminating specs of white light, which resided in the vast emptiness of space, had ceased to be visible with the coming of the sun.
For a split second she found herself, comparing the changes in the sky to her own crumbling life.
While darkness usually swallowed the bits of light that pierced the pitch-black surroundings whole, light always found a way to glimmer in even the darkest of nights. Lois could only hope that such would ring true for her. In Smallville she was a caterpillar, a cute one at that, but still just a caterpillar suffocating in her cocoon. Metropolis, however, promised to be a different story. At which point, she could tear free from the constricting ties that bound her to an empty calling and desolate pledges, and finally spread her wings.
Because as the darkness fades, you're left only with numbing realizations, promises that promise to be broken, and the shimmering of a newfound light.
End Of Part One
FYI… NUMBER TWO: Okay, so like this is my second attempt at writing fan fiction, my incredibly lame- though some people did like- story, is on K-Site, under the username DiscoLemonade, if you ever want to read that crap. Yeah, I thought the end of it was OKAY, but the beginning and middle of it were –I think, since I've had reassurance that, that isn't so, but still- pretty poorly depicted on my part, and incredibly short, but if you are ever extremely bored and want to laugh at all of my plot holes and writing errors, I will laugh WITH YOU, on that one… So I'm going to move onto writing part two now, since this is just part one and I'll be posting part two whenever I get it done, and that probably means add a couple of weeks, Since I am totally guilty of procrastinating…
FYI… NUMBER THREE: I totally appreciate comments, constructive criticism, and an all time fave of mine 'WTF were you were you thinking when you wrote this,'