Sunstreaker was here. With him.
Finally, they were alone, with no distractions to tear them apart again. They laughed, just as it should be, just being happy. No more being alone, no more doubt, no more worry. No more would they be separated.
They were twins after all, the same spark simply shared by two frames. When one moved, the other was obligated to follow. They were destined to be inseparable.
And yet now Sideswipe found their stringed bond was becoming thinner, strained, tested. And each stretch was always more painful than the last. It burned his very spark in knowing, feeling, his other half's distance from him.
Sideswipe smiled, not allowing the clouding thoughts to overcome. No, they were together now. He glanced down at their intertwined hands, and squeezed his against Sunstreaker's.
Inseparable.
They talked about anything, just to here each other's voice, each other's laugh, and with this need, Sideswipe had not realized that Sunstreaker was slowly, ever so gradually, becoming quieter and quieter while Sideswipe spoke with him.
Their connection was breaking, and Sideswipe was so desperate to keep it that he acted like nothing was wrong.
Sunstreaker jerked his hand from his as he turned to continue walking. The arm of the hand that had been denied suddenly ripped with pain, and Sideswipe screamed in the agony that was wracking his broken spark, but no sound came out.
Alone. Sideswipe watched in horror and pain as he was left behind, unable to move, watching the back of his twin walk towards the white horizon, shrinking, disappearing.
"Sunstreaker…"
Alone.
Again.
"Sunstreaker!"
He was fading away. Maybe if he called out loud enough, long enough, Sunstreaker would take notice of what he was doing and come running back to him. But he didn't. Sunstreaker kept walking, seemingly ignoring his twin as he cried out for him to come back. Sideswipe's voice echoed about him, as if he was trapped in a box that wouldn't carry his voice to any other pair audios than his own. His screeching voice blasted back at him in overlapping waves, mocking him and his pain.
Sideswipe outstretched his aggrieved arm, hand spread out in hopes of catching Sunstreaker's increasingly small form.
"Don't leave me!"
Sideswipe onlined with rough gasp of his intakes, bringing himself to jerk into sitting up from the floor. His bright, alarmed optics scoured the room. The rest of the team that wasn't on lookout duty was recharging on the floor of the ruined outpost they had took refuge in.
There was an ache in his spark and a phantom pain around the wodge brace that had been attached to his right shoulder axle. Sideswipe looked down at the curved, black metal.
His hand… the hand Sunstreaker held. Gone.
Sideswipe felt nervousness flutter in his already fast-beating spark as he turned his black helm. Sunstreaker was recharging, curled up in a corner of the room. Finally Sideswipe's optics dimmed to low light as he sighed, relieving himself of the harsh, panting intakes he was previously performing.
But nothing could stop the sadness riding up his very being, crushing his spark in its mass and engulfing him whole.
Sunstreaker… right there, only a few steps away, and yet light years from him.
Where had it gone wrong with them?
Sideswipe's frown etched deeper on his face as he forced himself to turn back and lay down once more. He looked at the ceiling, grey and cracked, and closed his optics, not wanting to see it. He no longer wanted to be part of this reality, where he could not connect with his other half, where he was shoved to the side, forget and replaced by an anger Sunstreaker hardly kept in check now. Sideswipe could feel it every waking moment in the bond that connected them, and in every waking moment he wanted to say something, do anything, to sooth his twin's hatred.
But nothing would work; nothing got him a step closer to where he wanted to be again.
Am I just that horrible a brother?