ROVE: And it's these things we love… I love setting fire to things. Because then the hot fire-fighters come to put them out and I get to perv for a while.
PETER HELLIAR: I love my gran. There, I've said it on national TV. Now put me back in your will you bitchy old hag.
THAT RANOM CHICK WHOM I FORGET THE NAME OF: I love Alzheimer's. If you act like a complete retard, you can just blame the disease.
DAVE (HUGHESY) HUGHES: I love Kellogg's All Bran. The people used in the advertisements make me feel normal.
ELMO: (who was one of he special guests that night): Elmo loves wasabi. That's why Elmo has no eyelids.
EDWARD: I love myself. When you're this good looking, you can get away with blatant narcissism.
BELLA: I love Tourettes syndrome. It justifies the fact that I think the word 'chagrin' as if I have a vocal tic.
ALICE: I love the future. I get advance warning, so I have the ability to change shit around.
JASPER: I love pissing off Edward through my thoughts…
Edward stiffens, and then turns to glare at Jasper.
ROSALIE: I love being a bitch. If anyone calls me on it, I just sic Emmett on them.
EMMETT: I love tanks. They're slightly challenging to destroy.
CARLISLE: I love cutting shit up. You get to put it together again after.
ESME: I love the Roman Empire. Now that's how you get shit done.
LOCH NESS MONSTER DEVIL SPAWN: I love Jacob. He's such an awesome chew toy.
JACOB: I love half vampires. In another 4 years, Nessie'll be legal. Suck on that, Eddie.
LEAH: I love Mr Darcy. I would so tap that.
SETH: I love American Idol. It reminds me that there really are complete retards out there.
QUIL: I love Claire. I'm just a little worried that she wants to turn me into an extra from Priscilla.
(Priscilla, queen of the desert. Brilliant Aussie movie about a bunch of drag queens.)
EMBRY: I love Leah's brain. It has the most awesome calls. Concentrates for a moment. Suck on that, mind rapist.
Edward flinches.
MIKE: I love Edward. Thanks to the fact that he kicks my ass in all aspects of life, I no longer need a slave constantly whispering in my ear 'you are but human'.
JESSICA: I love socks. They keep your feet warm.
ANGELA: I love Bella. It's so entertaining having a friend who's a bit of a psycho.
BEN: I love badly dubbed martial arts movies. The characters make me feel tall.
ROVE: thankyou everyone, and goodnight.