As Usual, I own nothing
It Hurt.
It ripped at her from the inside out, but she didn't care. She had her own life preserver to cling onto. It was stupid though, really. It hurt both of them because it was meant to be nothing more than a cover-up to make him jealous. Jade West was the center of the fantasies of most of the boys at Hollywood Arts. Robbie Shapiro was not the star of anyone's fantasies, not even the nerdiest of the nerdy girls. Jade guessed that was why she planned to weave herself into his little world and rip down his walls one by one.
"J-Jade…you uh, dropped this." Robbie whispers timidly, holding out a pair of red-handled scissors to the Goth Goddess.
"Don't touch my scissors. Ever." Jade growls. There's a scowl etched into her face as she yanks the scissors from Robbie's hand, and shoves them back into her bag.
"Uh, Sorry." It's the only thing Robbie can think to say as he grips the straps of his backpack and turns the opposite way. Jade watches him leave, probably for too long. Even after Robbie's bushy head bounces around the corner, Jade keeps watching. She doesn't even notice when Beck comes up behind her and kisses her neck.
"Hey Baby." He drawls casually in her ear. Those words don't send shivers rushing up her spine like they used to. All they succeed in doing is conjuring more thoughts of a curly headed boy. Heaving a sigh, Jade thinks it's almost like Romeo and Juliet. Forbidden, wrong. She wonders if that's why she's so desperately trying to think of a way to claw her way out of the bonds that hold her to Beck.
"Hey." The word drips dispassionately from Jade's lips as she turns to her boyfriend. Her index finger reaches up to the chiseled edges of his tanned face, trying to recall that spark that had used to ignite at the slightest embrace. It's no use though. The romance has fizzled. Jade realized it a long time ago, and she think Beck might have as well. No matter though, for the time being he's her toy. A pawn in the great big game of chess called life. As sick as it seems, Jade can only bring herself to want Robbie.
"Jadey!" Cat squeals, bouncing down the hall almost tripping over her own feet. Horrifyingly, apparently even she knew that Jade and Beck's relationship had lost that special spark. Usually she was the most oblivious to things like this, but she'd mentioned it in passing when Jade needed a place to stay last weekend.
"Not now Cat." Jade hisses at the redhead. Venom drips from her words, but her eyes soften for a moment. At a glance, one might think that her relationship with Beck had dulled her edges slightly. Then again, in other ways being with Beck has sharped Jade's edges as well. Draining the color from her wardrobe, making her react more violently to strangers. That's what guys in Hollywood like though, she's sure of it.
"Kay Kay" Cat says, her perky mood unaffected at usual by Jade's sour mood. As she bounds off in search of somebody at the end of the hall, Jade shakes her head. Sometimes she wishes things were different, that she were all unrestrained grins and friendly words like Cat.
The rest of the day passes by in a whirlwind of black curly hair and nerd glasses. As hard as Jade tries to focus on something else, anything else, goddamn Robbie Shapiro seems invade every millimeter of her brain. Finally the sun dies away though, and Jade finds herself laying on her bed with lilting music entering her ears. All it does is go in one ear and out the other, though. Eventually Jade finds her eyelids growing heavy. Just when she thinks sleep is in her grasp, Jade's ruby-colored Pearphone rattles to life and spikes her into consciousness.
Message received from Robbie:
Jadey, Can we talk?
Message received from Jadey:
You haven't called me Jadey in forever...but no Shapiro, we can't.
Message received from Robbie:
Please!
Message received from Jadey:
No.
Jade turns the volume on her phone down to silent and tosses it to the edge of her bed. Dealing with her own thoughts of Shapiro are trouble enough. She doesn't need him dragging them through her lips before she's ready. Slamming her eyes shut, Jade tries to ignore the images playing across the backs of her eyelids. The star of these dreams, or rather a nightmare according to Jade, is a lanky curly-haired boy that just happens to be her boyfriend's best friend.
It's horrible.
When Jade's eyes slide open again, the harsh morning light finds its way through the wear marks in her dark curtains. The light winds its way through Jade's curtains and burns her eyes. Rolling out of bed, Jade turns to her mirror and glowers. She really should have bothered to scrub her makeup off last night. The makeup that had rimmed her eyes last night has now smeared it's way across her cheekbones.
Scowling, Jade tramples into a small black painted bathroom and begins to furiously scrub at her face. It's pointless really, she thinks. Even after she erases the black from yesterday, after redoes her makeup, most of the morons at school probably won't notice a thing. As she pulls out the eyeliner, and rims her eyes once again, she wonders if Shapiro will notice.
A few minutes last, and Jade is standing in front of her mirror again. Her curled hair is twisted around her shoulders in a tangle of electric blue and black. The contrast is sharp against her stark white skin. Tiredly, Jade slips her black clothing across her skin. Fastening the silver button of her black jeans, and dragging a shirt over it shortly after.
Usually by this time, Jade's dad would have left for work. With the coast clear, she would grab an apple and head out the door for another day at Hollywood Arts. Today though, Jade enters the kitchen, only to be greeted by an unfamiliar sight. Her father is sitting at the table, his hair disheveled from sleep and his face covered in stubble. He's hidden behind today's paper, and there's a cup of coffee beside him. Jade's not at all used to seeing him around, but just the sight of her father looking like a parent, and not just an attorney thaws some of the ice that's grown around her heart.
Jade's father glances up from the paper, his stormy blue-green eyes are full of sleep and he still reminds her of a parent. Jade skirts past him in hopes of getting out of the door. Maybe if she's fast, she'll escape before he can say anything about her clothes, hair, or piercings and this little memory can be stowed away.
She's not fast enough. Of course she's not.
"Jadelyn, Why must you dye your hair all those colors?" Her father asks, eyes narrowing thoughtfully. A moment passes, and then he's gesturing to a photo that adorns the mantle. Atop it, there's a photo that's collected dust over the years, and has essentially been forgotten. Within it's frame, Jade is in the photo with her dad, and her mom, back when they were a whole family and not divided between two houses. Jade's hair was pulled into two pigtails and she was smiling, clinging onto her father's leg. A memory of happier times, and just another reason to be bitter about how things are now.
"It's who I am." Jade says, shrugging placidly. For once her words don't drip venom, and she doesn't hiss her answer out between her teeth. Hiking the strap of her backpack up her shoulders, Jade doesn't wait for an answer and heads towards the door.
The cool California air bites at her skin, and raises goose bumps along Jade's pale arms. Her ugly old car sits in the driveway, waiting for her to turn over the engine and carry her to school like it does every morning. As Jade shuts the front door, her Pearphone buzzes from inside of her bag. Ignoring it, she glares at the menagerie of silver keys in her hand, trying to remember which was which. Finally Jade catches sight of a long slither of silver and jams it into the lock. Twisting the key, the lock clicks and Jade drags the door open. A moment later, her bag is flung across the seat and she's resting her forearm against the steering wheel. Jamming the same key into the ignition, Jade turns it and the motor purrs to life. Peeling out of the long gravel driveway, Jade flies down the deserted street towards Hollywood Arts with her abrasive music flooding the silence.
The sun is sitting a little higher in the sky when Jade finds her parking space. It's next to Beck's red car, of course. Lurching out of her car, Jade notes that the paint is peeling a little around his door handle. She reminds herself to tell him about that later.
"Jade, can we please talk?" Robbie begs, jogging up to her from his own poor excuse for a car. Jade hikes the strap on her bag higher on her shoulder, and brushes past him. With a shake of her head, Robbie's left choking on dust. Wearily, Jade drags the door of Hollywood Arts' main entrance open. Stepping inside, she sees Cat surrounded by Andre and Tori. From the horrified looks on Tori and Andre's faces, Cat is probably rattling off another tale of something her brother did.
"…And that's why my parents won't let us have a hamster anymore" Cat conclude, brown eyes sparkling as Jade comes to a halt beside her. Remaining silent, Jade realizes Cat's eyes always sparkle like that, whether she's happy or sad. She wonders if her eyes ever sparkle at all.
Just when Jade's shoulders are loosening, a head of curly black hair accompanied by another figure with olive skin round the corner and start heading in the direction of the small group. The olive skinned one comes to stand beside Jade. Glancing sidelong at Beck, she yanks his coffee from his hands. Taking a long sip, she ignoring his protests until she's had her fill. Feeling re-energized, Jade hands the blue and white cup back to him with a smirk. As she does so, Cat starts on another story about her brother. Rolling her eyes Jade turns to Beck.
"The paint on your car is peeling…" Jade notes dispassionately.
"What?!" Beck squawks, brown eyes widening in horror. As he clutches the strap of his own bag in his shoulder, Jade wonders when the last time he felt that concerned about her was.
"The Paint on the red hunk of junk you drive is peeling!" Jade slowly reiterates, enunciating each word and pressing each syllable into his brain. Narrowing her eyes at Beck, Jade wishes she had the guts to just end things with him. Forcing conversation with him is becoming more painful by the day.
"Oh." Beck answers belatedly. Somewhere long the way, they'd both gotten swept up in listening to the much too cheery chatter of Cat and Tori. Jade's thoughts are scattered, and she is only brought back from the clouds when he utters that single word. All it does is drag her back into the bleak reality of her relationship.
"Look, I uh, gotta go to class." Jade mumbles, stuffing a hand into her pocket and turning around towards the other hallway.
"I'll walk you." Beck says, tossing his now empty cup of coffee in the nearest trash receptacle. A second later, and he's reaching out to grip his girlfriend's hand.
"No, I'm okay." Jade counters sharply, jerking her hand away from Beck. Behind him, she catches Robbie placing a tentative kiss on the high cheekbones of Tori Vega. The public display of affection makes her heart clench painfully. The touch of his lips on her cheek, and the blush that ignited on her cheeks.
"Bye." Jade spits, hands balling into fists as she pushes her way through the crowd of students, and heads for Sikowitz's classroom. The obnoxious psychedelic colors of the hallway distort her thoughts slightly. Making her light-headed, if only for a brief moment. The clouded thoughts are welcome though. The hair, the eyes, the glasses. All of it's thrown into a far flung corner of her mind for a moment.
Jade falls into her seat and wishes she could hold onto this light-headedness. Just forget him. Forget him and his stupid hair. Forget him and that stupid puppet. Forget his stupid voice and the way he looks at Tori.
Jade just wishes she could forget her entire existence.
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