Existence

By JJ Zendejas

Mr. Freenor, 2nd period

English

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I'd be happy to drink the world-

Ready for anything…

The cold metal dug into his temple, and he squeezed his eyes shut. Sweat covered his forehead, and his breath came in short, rapid gasps. And so ends the long existence of another worthless soul upon this earth, he thought. He braced himself, fingers curled around the trigger in a claw-like embrace.

"Wait!"

Axel froze. The voice came from behind him, instead of in his own head. Hurried footsteps echoed off the cold cement floor, and before he knew it, there were arms wrapped around him.

"Don't do it!" the one holding him begged. He slowly turned his head to catch a glimpse of blonde hair, and the most incredible blue eyes he had ever seen burned through him.

"Why?" Axel heard himself saying. "Why should it matter to you?"

The thin arms around his middle tightened. "I don't know. I don't know! But…you have to…keep talking to me. What's your name?"

I'd chase the galaxy around

You were my everything.

Axel blinked down at him.

"Axel."

"Axel…that's a unique name. Where are you from?"

He blinked. This hadn't been in his plans, but oh well. He could spend a few minutes talking to the kid, why not?

"I don't…actually know where I was from. I was adopted."

The gun felt heavier, and he suddenly wished that the blond would just leave him alone.

He realized at that moment that the blond had pinned his arms at his side.

"Look, uh-"

"I'm not letting go." The blond stated firmly.

Axel struggled-but he realized it was useless. The kid had an iron grip.

Fine, Axel thought angrily. If that's the way you want to be. I'll play along with you for a little bit, kid.

"So, why did you stop me?"

My sun, my star, my east and west

And for my sake, I wish you the best.

"Why wouldn't I?"

Axel glanced back at him. "Probably because it's none of your business-"

'I make it my business."

Axel scoffed. What a typical answer.

There is no heaven where we're going

But you're my anchor, strong and knowing

There was a moment of silence between the two. Axel tilted his head up at the grey, dark ceiling before him. Once again, his thoughts were drifting back to how everything had gotten as bad as it had. The endless fights, the drugs and the parties, and the anger and depression…everything…it was just too much. So on that rainy day, he stumbled into the nearest abandoned building with his father's gun, just ready to blow his brains out.

Unfortunately, this kid wasn't about to let him do that.

You left as you always did-

Proud, strong, and never looking back-

There was a moment of silence between the two where the air was charged. Let me go already, kid, Axel thought angrily. The hands around him were tightened in a vice, making it slightly hard to breathe. Seeing as this kid wasn't about to let him go, Axel sighed and looked up at the ceiling. It seemed to reflect his feelings-dark and cold and empty.

The kid shifted, and he realized the he had a backpack on. "Kind of late to be walking home, isn't it?" Axel said. The kid smiled. Man, he had great eyes.

"Drama practice ran late." he explained.

"Oh." Axel went back to staring at the wall. He didn't honestly care at this point-but it sparked enough interest to keep him alive a few more minutes.

"So what's your name, kid?"

"Roxas."

"Roxas?" Axel turned his head to look at him. "That's kind of cool."

"I'm glad you approve," the kid said sarcastically.

Man, he's annoying. "So what's your deal, kid? Do you just randomly come and interrupt people daily?"

The ki-Roxas, shook his head. "I was heading home, but…something told me I had to come here. I didn't understand it…until I saw you."

Axel was surprised. He had never thought anyone would ever save his life by gut instinct alone.

"Now, please, put the gun down."

Axel complied, seeing as how this kid wasn't going to let him do anything anymore. But as he set the gun down, the sight of it laying on the cold dark cement totally useless to him now brought tears to his eyes. They spilled over, and left streaks running down his face.

You didn't even get to see

My world turning to black.

"Wha-what's wrong?" Roxas asked, alarmed. Axel shook his head. "N…nothing. I'm fine…"

" I don't believe you." Roxas chortled. The blond looked around. The grim walls did nothing to help the situation any.

"You need to get out of here. Come on." Roxas led Axel by the hand out of the warehouse. Axel glanced back to where the gun lay. Roxas shook his head. "Leave it." he demanded. Axel didn't like being ordered around by a kid he barely knew, but he was too tired and emotionally overthrown to do anything about it.

They headed out into the dark, rainy streets. The light from the street lamps cast eerie shadows on the pavement. It seemed like a different dimension. Axel couldn't decide whether or not that was a good thing. The rain was cold but refreshing, a nice change from what he was used to.

Several blocks away, they crossed a bridge overlooking the city. The rain had let up some-and the sparkling lights illuminated the dark water below. Seeing that he had stopped, Roxas stopped as well.

"It's beautiful." Axel said quietly. Roxas nodded. "If I was any sort of poet, I would say something romantic about it. I'm terrible with words though." Axel glanced at the blond. "Romantic? What the hell does that mean?"

Roxas frowned at him. "The word romantic can be used in different ways-it doesn't necessarily have to be…uh…" "In a romantic sense?" Axel grinned. Roxas looked up. "Hey, I made you smile. That's my first victory today." Axel blinked. That was the first smile he had in a while…he hadn't even thought about it. But then again, that was the magic of this kid, I guess, he thought. He makes you want to smile. He shivered. When he left the house, he hadn't really planned on comfort.

"I wish I had a cigarette right now…"Axel sighed. Roxas stared at him. "You smoke?"

"Yeah. I normally…like playing with the lighter more though. I guess you could call me…kind of a pyomaniac." Roxas shook his head, chuckling. "You're so weird."

"How so?" Axel asked.

"You're the first person I've ever met who smokes because they like the flames." Roxas smiled. Axel laughed. "Yeah, I am kind of crazy like that."

And all this time I think of you

Wish there had been something I could do

They continued walking. At one point, Axel realized Roxas still had his hand clasped in his. "Um…could you let go now?" Roxas shook his head. "I'm afraid of letting go."

They were in the city now-the dark skyscrapers glaring angrily at the pair-demanding to know why they were walking its streets so late at night. Lights up ahead indicated that they were near a café. When they stepped inside, the soft smells of coffee and soup overwhelmed them. After the freezing cold outside, the heat almost stung.

They dropped down into a table next to the window. Axel shook water droplets out of his fiery red hair. Soon a waiter came over, and smiled. She looked exhausted, as well as stressed out.

"What can I get you?"

They glanced at each other. Then, Roxas said, "We'll take some hot chocolate, and-"

Roxas glanced over at Axel inquiringly. Now that they were inside, he had drawn back into his shell and was now playing with the salt shaker.

"-and two orders of soup, please."

The waitress glanced inquiringly at their clasped hands but said nothing.

How could I ever think I could make you smile?

And now that there is nothing, stay for a while

A few minutes later, identical bowls of steaming onion soup appeared in front of them. Mixed in were various vegetables and stewed potatoes. At the smell of food, Axel shook out of his trance and began to eat hungrily. Roxas watched him. There were dark bags under his eyes-and he looked as if he hadn't truly eaten in days. He was stressed, and afraid, and desperate. Of what? Roxas wondered. Maybe it was better if he didn't know. But now, no matter what it was, he was there. Both of them were. And maybe it was because of that that Roxas grabbed Axel 's hand again.

Axel looked up. The kid's face was set, and he looked like he was thinking deeply. He felt the smaller hand in his and sighed.

He knew now that he was never going to commit suicide. This kid was going to keep forcing himself into his life until he fixed everything. Until Axel was okay. And…Axel thought, looking at the expression on his face, maybe even for longer than that. But…why?

"I'm…not worth this trouble." He hadn't realized he had spoken out loud. Roxas squeezed his hand gently. "Let me be the judge of that."

The waitress was just finishing cleaning up a few hours later, when she came upon a bizarre sight. There was the two from before, asleep. Their hands were still clasped together tightly. She smiled.

I'd give the world

For one last minute with you.

OWARI