One day some random guy (let's call him Bob) was sitting on the pavement for some weird reason drinking a soda. Suddenly, for no reason at all except plot reasons, a dirty big flash of light appeared. Meanwhile, all over the universe, cartoon characters stood in awe as an enormous portal appeared leading to Bob's world. Unfortunately, only the really annoying and stupid cartoon characters were stupid enough to go in. Bob watched, horrified as the worst sight in the world became reality. Dora (and her three companions who I forgot the names of), Caillou, Barney, Thomas the tank engine, Robbie Rotten, those random puppet things from "Yo Gabba Gabba" and Peppa pig.

"What the heck is happening?" asked Bob. His soda fell from his hand as the portal closed. "What do you think is happening you idiot?" shouted this old man who looked a lot like Stan Lee for another weird reason. "Cartoon characters have been transported into this world! Man, what is it with people these days?" The cartoon characters were all very confused. "What's this?" asked Robbie Rotten. "A strange, darkly colored world? I shall take over it and finally be able to get rid of Sportacus and his idiotic magical apples… erm I mean sports candy!" he added quickly to the younger viewers of this story.

A hundred babies who watched Lazy town dropped their ice creams when they realized that "sports candy" were actually normal apples

Robbie Rotten started waving his arms and screaming "MWA HA HA HA" as he ran onto the road and got hit by a truck supplying illegal weapons to mobsters ironically. Bob looked around for a second before pointing to all the cartoon characters and saying "Hey, you" Caillou started to cry "I WANT MY MUMMY!"
"What is it" asked one of the weird puppet things from Yo Gabba Gabba. "You're all stepping on my feet." Bob groaned. Then he called the police on his mobile phone (The "Call" app was conveniently placed between "Candy crush Saga" and "Milkshake simulator"). The police sirens sounded as a dozen police cars burst out of the station to find the disturbance. "I wonder what this is" asked Dora, pointing to Bob's phone.

"That's right! It's a PHONE! Everybody say phone! P-H-O-N-E! PHONE!"
Then she took her backpack out "Hey guys let's have some fun!" the backpack and map didn't do anything because now that they were in the real world, they were inanimate. So basically they were dead.

Police officers arrived at the scene. "Put your hands in the air, freaks!" shouted the Police Captain, raising his gun (This was America btw. No wait I didn't mean for it to be stereotypical, I just added it in because I forgot to put in the setting at the beginning). "Come on everybody!" said Barney in his really squeaky and yet deep voice (I'll call it a "Deaky" voice). "Let's be best friends!" The police captain looked really creeped out. Then Barney started singing. "YOU LOVE MEE I LOVE YOU-"and the police officers put their hands to their ears. "SOMEONE MAKE IT STOP!" sobbed Bob as his ears started wrinkling. The Police Captain calmly put on a pair of earplugs and put both hands on the trigger. "Okay then," he said in his fakest fake voice. "Let's be best… NO GO JUMP OFF A CLIFF!" and he shot all his bullets into Barney's chest. He fell to the ground with a loud thud.

A note from the author: I do not own any of these characters, nor do I actually want to. Who does?
TO BE CONTINUED…
Me: Welp, Robbie and Barney are dead.
Barney: Why don't we all be BEST FRIE-
Me: (shoots a missile through his head) Nope.
Robbie: Curses! I just was foiled again! But I will return! I will return! I will…
Me: Nah, I'm not bringing you back.