Hey all! Here's another story for you! This was originally an English assignment, but I kinda wrote it with FanFic in mind, so I'm uploading it here as well. Enjoy!
"Nothin's real scary except in books."
How I wished that was true right now. All my young life, I have been a strong, independent girl. I never really was scared of much. If I was, I'd just go to Atticus, and he'd talk me right out of my fears and back into the sensible world.
But Atticus ain't here no more. And now I've got no one to talk me out of my fears.
So I sit in them. Day and night they taunt me, like the kids in grade school when Atticus was defending Tom Robinson. Unlike the kids in grade school, I can't beat up my fears, even though now my fists are far stronger'n before.
I would talk to Jem, but instead of talking or crying or even bein' angry that Atticus is dead, Jem is burying himself in his schoolwork. Only place he goes is school. Comes home afterward, eats, and heads back up to his room.
We're lucky that after all these years we still have Cal-I don't know what I'd do without her; I'm a terrible cook, not to mention an awful housekeeper. She tries to get Jem and me out of our holes, but we are dug too deep for anyone to get us out.
"Scout! Where is your sorry good for nothin' behind?" Cal really hasn't changed much, even with Atticus dead. I know she hurts too, but she is so on top of herself she knows when she can be sad and when she has to be strong.
"I'm up here, Cal!"
"There's someone here to see you! And if'n I were you I'd come down here quick, afore he runs on home." He? What boy would come visit me? Unless...no, it can't be! I run down the stairs and nearly slam into a tall, handsome-Dill? He hasn't come to his Aunt Rachel's in years. He got a job in a big city and didn't come around anymore.
Dill hands me a bouquet of flowers.
"I'm sorry about Atticus. He was a great man." Standing there on the stoop, his muscled arms and brown hair waving in his eyes, I just can't resist. I run to him and hold him, a living artifact of the time when I wasn't scared of much. Dill has pulled me out of my hole just a tiny bit.
Dill awkwardly returns my gesture. He wasn't expecting such an immediate show of affection.
I step back.
"Come on, Dill, let's go get an ice cream." I pull him down the street, past Miss Maudie's house, past Mrs. Dubose's house (which is now standing empty and sullen, waiting for new occupants), past Miss Maudie's new house, past Boo Radley's house.
Past the school, past the courthouse, past the jail. We finally arrived at the little diner.
"This place really hasn't changed at all. It's such a throwback to see it. How you doin', Scout-erm, I mean, Jean?"
"Oh Dill, I'm still Scout. I've changed about as much as this town."
"No, you haven't, Scout. You've changed so much." I blush, not knowing if that's a good or bad thing.
When we come home after the nicest evening I've had in a while, Dill stops on the front stoop.
"I don't think it would be proper for me to come in and sleepover like we used to. But if'n you need anything, you know where to find me." With that, Dill turns and walks down the front steps. I watch him as he turns walks down the sidewalk and turns into his aunt's front walk. Then I walk into the house and up the stairs.
As I pass Jem's room, I stop. I'm happier than I've been in a long time. Maybe some of my happiness will rub off on him. I knock.
"Jean, I don't want to talk. I'm busy and have lots of homework. Leave me alone." His voice is thin and sad, like he knows he's given up and doesn't care. I open the door.
"You don't have to talk, Jem, but I do." Jem's room is dark and rank. He doesn't allow Calpurnia to clean it. I guess he prefers to sit in his stink. Just another thing that I still don't understand about Jem.
"I was so happy today with Dill. I didn't realize how much I've been missing by sitting around and moping over Atticus. He's gone, Jem. He's dead. Sitting in your room won't bring him back. He-"
"Don't tell me what Atticus would want! I'm his son, don't you think I know what he would want? Don't you think that I would know that he would want me to be happy? I do, Jean, I do, I just, I just-can't." And with that he broke down sobbing. I'd never seen Jem cry, not even at Atticus's funeral. It made me see how terribly Jem was broken, how deep down he had dug himself.
I went over to the windows, opened them, and pulled back the curtains. It was time for the both of us to see the light that had always been there, that was waiting to be seen.
I took Jem in my arms and wept with him. I wept for Atticus, I wept for Tom Robinson, I wept for Jem, I wept for Mayella Ewell, I wept for Dill, I wept for myself. That I had buried the light within me so deep that it couldn't shine anymore, that I had buried it beneath my fears, that I had nearly extinguished it.
But there, in Jem's room, I uncovered my light. I let it shine all over Jem. He felt it.
"I love you, Scout. I'm sorry that I've buried myself. I guess I'd forgotten what Atticus taught us. I should never've stopped living. Atticus always said that the only way to really face your fears was to get to know them. I guess I let my fears eat me up. I'm sorry, Scout." Jem held me tighter.
"I'm so happy that you're back, Jem! I almost let my fears eat me up, too. I couldn't beat 'em up, I couldn't yell at 'em. It was horrible. Now I know that there is real scary stuff outside of books, but if you talk about it, if you get to know it, then it gets better. Promise me Jem, promise me, if you ever feel like you're getting eaten up, come to me. I love you. It was awful when you were gone. Don't ever go away like that again," I sobbed into his shirt.
"I won't, Scout, I won't."
I got up slowly, and wiped the tears off my face.
"Cal, Jem's back! He's back!"
"Glory hallelujah, my boy's back!" Calpurnia came racing up the stairs faster than I'd ever see her move before. She wrestled Jem into her arms and held him like she hadn't held him in a long time-which she hadn't.
"I always said you'd come back to us! I knew it! Glory hallelujah! I gotta cook up some mighty fine food, with Jem is gonna come another big appetite!" And with that, good old Cal bustled down the stairs and into the kitchen.
"Come on, Jem, there's somebody I'd like you to see." I pulled my brother down the stairs and out the back door, over the fence dividing Miss Rachel's and our yard, and up to the house, where we climbed up the roof and into Dill's bedroom, surprising the heck out of him when we knocked on the window.
"Hurry up Dill, open the window, this roof ain't gonna hold us much longer!" Dill rushed over to the window and offered his hand to me, which I shoved away and then jumped down lightly onto the floor. Jem jumped in next, and at the sight of him, Dill looked even more surprised.
"Jem! What're you doing here? Thought you'd turned into a hermit," Dill said with a smirk.
Jem punched him lightly on the shoulder, smiling with his old ease.
"I've come back from a long trip," Jem said, giving me a sideways glance.
Dill cleared his throat.
"Well, now that you're back, can I, uh, can I talk to you? Alone?" I was pushed out into the hall with more than a little resistance. The door closed in my face and I put my ear to it, more than a little curious. I couldn't hear anything, though. The boys were talking in low whispers.
When they opened the door, Dill was wearing a face as red as a tomato and Jem was looking a little sad.
"What was all that about?" I demanded, as soon as I stepped back into the room.
"Dilly here just asked if he could, uh, start seeing you, Scout. I believe you've got your first suitor."
With that, I ran over to Dill and kissed him. My light is finally fully uncovered.