Driven to Distraction

by Ali44

the title says it all really :

Title: DRIVEN TO DISTRACTION

Disclaimer: blah blah blah they're not mine but I'm playing with them ;)

Spoilers/Setting: spoilers for all books, but not really set anywhere in particular

Notes: I'm rusty really really rusty, consider yourselves warned. This is my first attempt at trying to shake the cobwebs outs. This scene popped into my head and refused to leave.

'Check him out'

It had been a rather slow day, as far as days go at the Trenton police station. A couple of drunks slept off their latest benders in a holding cell, there were the usual domestic disputes, a few armed robberies, a possible homicide and some kind of disturbance over at the Senior citizens centre.

'Where?'

'Out there, in the lot'

'Where Sylvia, I don't See anything?'

'Hold on a second. Just wait till the van moves'

'That the team going over to the senior cit centre ?'

'Yeah, from what I picked up over at dispatch, they better get a move on.'

'What do you think those crazy old…'

'Hold it a sec Donna, they're moving'

'Oh. My. God'

'What'd I tell you

'Oh. My. God'

'Yep, that's one fine looking man alright.'

Sylvia was a lucky woman. She was working the front desk this week after a freak accident involving a Barbie doll and a staircase left her unfit for fieldwork. Usually not known for it's advantages - better known for dealing with irate family members, nuisance questions, paperwork, scumbag criminals, their scumbag lawyers and even more paperwork. But the front desk also had it's advantages:

Mainly a view of the parking lot.

And right now Sylvia was praising her daughter and her Barbie doll – if this was the reward mamma gets for tripping down the damn stairs she might just buy her kid that new bike she wanted – bikes are notorious for accidents – right?

He was leaning against his car, talking on his cell phone, there was a breeze that played with his hair, cool black sunglasses, faded black t shirt stretched taut across the shoulders, and even tighter around the upper arms, the soft material clinging slightly to the upper chest, defining the pecs to perfection, the soft material looser around the stomach area. The breeze picked up the light material and for an all too brief moment exposed the most unbelievable set of abs.

'Oh.My. God'

'I know'

'I think I just found religion'

The two seasoned professionals, hardened policewomen, broke down into a fit of schoolgirl giggles.

'Ladies' Big Dog nodded his greeting

'What's so funny?' Carl wanted to know

'Nothing funny at all is there Donna?'

'You're right Sylvia there is nothing remotely funny about that' Donna said fanning herself

Big dog noticed where his colleagues attention was fixed

'OH MY GOD'

'What? Why are you all staring at the lot ? What's out there? Hey big dog move you're ass so I can see'

'Oh. My. God'

'Big Dog did you just drool?' Sylvia asked

'I know I did' giggled Donna

'You're bad'

'You better believe it' and the schoolgirl giggles continued

'Is that an Austin Martin DB9?'

'No that's the Vanquish S, Austin Martin's flagship design; 200 mph, 6.0 litres, V12, all hand crafted …'

'Big Dog do you have a crush?'

'Don't know about him but I think I have a hard on'

'Ahh jeez Carl too much information'

'Sorry ladies but that's a hot car'

'… formula one style transmission, 0 to 100mph in only 9.8 seconds…'

'It's not the car that's hot'

'Hey Sylvia have you seen the paperwork on the john doe we have in the drunk tank? It was supposed to be on…Oooh my god!!!

'You said it sister'

'Hey Robin I didn't know you were a car fanatic?'

'Oh, hi Carl, what are you talking about? Car what car?

'That one' Carl said pointing

'Oh'

And at that moment the breeze picked up and softly fluttered at the hem of his t shirt exposing a hint of washboard abs again.

Robin Russell, career cop street tough professional policewoman's response turned from a disinterested "oh" to an "oooohhhh"of a completely different kind.

An "ooohhh" chorused by her serious minded, no nonsense female co-workers.

'Hey Robin I found that file' Eddie called as her rounded the corner oblivious the groups occupation with the view 'Big dog I thought you were on your way over to the senior citizen riot?'

' …All alloy, quad overhead camshaft….'

'Don't mind him, I think he's in love'

'Who is it this time" Eddie said with a resigned sigh, Carl pointed

'OH MY GOD Big Dog's in Love with RANGER!!!!!!

'No man with his car. Big dog is in love with Ranger's new car'

'Oh! Well, it's a hot car'

'… elegant, powerful and dynamic with a hint of menace'

'You sure he's talking about the car?

'Sounds like he's talking about the man if you ask me' quipped Sylvia

'Hey Big Dog man did you swallow the brochure or something'

'Do you know how much that car costs?' Big dog asked his male co-workers, he found that his female co-workers were otherwise distracted.

'More than the three of us combined could save in two lifetimes'

'Wow' was said with a kind of awestruck silence men only get when talking cars, sports or barbeques.

'Hey guys can't stop, Sylvia I hear your driving the desk this week, sorry about the ankle. Eddie I haven't forgotten about that beer you owe me, maybe we can get together one night next week. Robin love the new hair. Gotta run.'

The whirlwind that is Stephanie Plum blew past the crowd at the front desk, she paused and turned on her way through the door.

'hey Carl, you might want to help big dog with that drool problem before the captain sees. Catch ya later' and she was gone. Breezing through the door and directly across the lot.

'Wow'

'She is a dynamo' agreed Eddie

'No, I meant that' Carl said nodding towards the parking lot, the incredibly hot car and the couple that were now standing so close that a gust of wind would have them eligible for arrest for lewd acts in a public place.

It wasn't that they were doing anything, just standing, but…

'Oh'exclaimed Robin 'wow' finished Donna on a sigh

'I wish my man looked at me like that' Sylvia grumbled

'I thought she was still seeing Joe Morelli?' Robin asked the girls, never one to miss the opportunity for gossip. She was hoping to make detective one day and everyone knew gossip gathering was an important element in detective training.

'She is as far as I know' answered Big dog, he may be a big car loving freak, but he was also a big gossip. Big Dog also had his sights on making detective.

Okay, so she now had her hand in his pocket and was…

'No way!'

Pulling out the keys to the car

'He's letting her drive!!!"

'I always heard rumors that he was nuts now I have proof. The man is completely insane even letting Stephanie Plum anywhere near a car like that let alone voluntarily letting her drive it.'

'Hot woman and a hot car. 100 wacko'

'No doubt about it'

'Who's wacko?'

'Oh hey Joe, didn't see you there. We were just talking about Ranger.'

'Like I've always said. The man isn't stable. Robin did you find that file?'Joe replied not looking up, more interested in sorting the stack of paperwork he was carrying.

A loud pur like rumble erupted startling Joe, who as the only one whose gaze wasn't fixed to the window over looking the car park and therefore hadn't seen Stephanie climb into the drivers seat.

'Jesus what was that!?!'

'That was the Austin Martin Vanquish S 's V12 hand crafted engine'

'Who in Trenton can afford an Austin Martin? Don't answer that!' Joe felt one of his headaches coming on and rubbed his temple.

They all watched as the sleek black sports car rumbled across the lot

A few seconds later Sylvia returned to her position behind the front desk , and Donna and Robin wondered off no doubt back to their work. The hot man candy was gone, no need to stand around watching the parking lot now.

'Did I hear you say something about Steph?'

'Oh yeah, um we were just saying that Ranger was nuts to let her drive' Carl answered bashfully

A slow evil smile fought it's way across Joe's face.

Joe was happily fantasising about the devastation that could happen to a car in his girlfriends vicinity When Big Dog spoke

'I don't know if he let her drive. She kinda just stuck her hand right into his front pocket and took the key, but he didn't seem to mind too much, I mean he was smiling'

The sounds of the sportscars engine growling as steph gunned it out of the drive way competed with the sound of the steam gushing from Morelli's ears.

If you want to regurgitate the brochure just like Big Dog you can check it out here:

love this quote: "The Vanquish S is unmistakably an Aston Martin.It is elegant, powerful and dynamic. But there is also a hint of menace in this classic Aston Martin design,with a dynamic tension in its shape accentuated by the rear flanks and their almost animal-like 'muscularity'.