Title: I'll Never Be Able To...
Author: KouenTaisa/WonderTwinC (Ched)
Rating: T
Pairing: Beckett/Castle
Status: 1/1
Category/Warnings: Character Death
Spoilers: Sequel/Prequel to That's Not...
Summary: One minute he is there with her and in the next she is kneeling beside him on the ground and everything around her doesn't't stop or slow down like it does in the movies.
A/N: This is the prequel/sequel to That's Not... This is another Grey's conversation given to me by my awesome Twin (from WonderTwinsUnite). She read the first half and then pointed out that the conversation between Izzie/Denny used in this story would be good for a prequel of sorts and now you have it.

One minute he is there with her and in the next she is kneeling beside him on the ground and everything around her doesn't't stop or slow down like it does in the movies. She hears Esposito call for a bus as Ryan reads Adrianna her rights and Kate wonders how it all went to hell so fast because Castle should not be bleeding out in front of her but he is. No matter how hard she presses her hands against the bullet wound he still continues to bleed rapidly.

"Kate-"

"Don't you dare, Castle. Don't," she cuts him off as fast as she can because beneath the pain on his face she can see something else and it scares her just a little. This isn't a close call like so many other times before. It's different and she can see that knowledge in his blue eyes that aren't as bright as they were ten minutes ago.

Someone is handing her a jacket and she presses it against Castle's chest just as she realizes that it belongs to Esposito. He stays close to her, but far enough away to give them some privacy and she loves him for that even as her heart is slowly starting to break. He doesn't say anything for a moment and right when she starts to talk to him he breaks the silence.

"You'll be fine," he tells her in a voice that is more than a little breathy and tinged with pain. She doesn't know whether to hit him or kiss him so she decides that adding a little more pressure is a good enough compromise between the two.

She takes a deep breath, caught between anger and worry and so many other emotions that it's hard to speak past the forming lump in her throat, but she manages. "You have to do this for me, okay Castle? You have to do this for me or I'll never be able to forgive you."

Esposito shifts in the background, but he doesn't make a sound. Beneath her hands, Castle's chest is rising and falling slower than before, but he is still breathing and that is what matters. The bus will be here soon to get him and as long as he is still breathing then things will be fine. He has to be fine.

He doesn't want to say the words, and Castle knows that Kate doesn't want to hear them, but it's the first thing that comes out of his mouth and he doesn't regret asking. "Forgive me for what? Dying?" he tries to make it sound lighthearted, but his voice is colored with pain and it's getting a little harder to focus on much of anything.

"No idiot," her voice is affectionate and soft and Castle wants to hear it for the rest of his life. "For making me love you," she whispers quietly. The sirens are loud and just outside the building and Kate tells Esposito to go meet them. He only hesitates a moment before leaving and she takes her chance.

"Come here," he mumbles softly, reading her mind.

Leaning down, Kate presses her lips to Castle's in a kiss that is just as slow and soft as their first one, but so bittersweet that she feels her heart break as she pulls away.

"Kate-"

"I know, Castle... me too."

Kate Beckett jerked awake in her own bed, staring at the ceiling as the memories came back to her in such a vivid fashion. Any other day and she would've been able to shake it off and work, but today was different.

Today, Alexis was graduating high school.

Today, she had to try on dresses during her lunch break so that she could be the Maid Of Honor at Lanie's wedding.

Getting up from her bed, Beckett walked over to her dresser and slowly opened the box that sat on top. She pulled out her father's watch and stared at it a moment before putting it on. She then grabbed the necklace she had made out of her mother's ring and slipped it on without a second thought.

Today was the day in which her life had both a beginning and an ending.

The last thing she grabbed out of the box was the gold and silver engagement ring.