Chapter 1- Told you so.

"I just don't get it… I really don't!" Taker announced in the locker room.

Vince sat there wide eyed and everything, yet… none of the dragons were shocked. "Mark… how? How on earth did you go from 290 to 460?!" Vince demanded. Taker just got back from the realm job that Khan announced after Owen left, he didn't think much of it. It was extra money for him and with the price of gold going up how could he not refuse it! Taker was about to say something until his stomach rumbled in hunger. "You can't be serious!"

"Sorry, I am hungry. What do we got to eat?" Taker asked aloud.

Vince turned to me… he always turns to me. "Kane, what the hell is wrong with my Undertaker? He's WWE champion, I cannot have him going out… like that!" he demanded of me. Vince was just lucky that Matt took in some of Taker's clothing and enlarged them for him while he was gone at the realm job.

"Well, if you had paid attention to Kane when this happened, you would know the Deadman is a father to be" announced Matt. "Taker's going to be a dad, and yet he's no where near ready"

"What the hell makes you say that?" Taker demanded. "I nearly the size of a damn truck, my gut is hanging out! I ain't getting any bigger!"

"Well you ain't getting any smaller Mark" I smirked to him. "Matt's right though, if you can still change back to your human self… you are NOWHERE near ready!" he didn't take to kindly to my words, hell he saw me the last time when I was nearly the size of a hummer! Then again… I did kinda go overboard on that one. Taker sat defiantly in the locker room but his stomach kept telling him to go and eat something.

He growled lowly back at it and got up from his chair. "If you need me I am in the catering room" he muttered and stormed out of the room.

Vince turned to me with a very bitter look. "You have a solution for me on this Kane? I am not going on with Smackdown if I don't have my champion in competing condition!"

"We will turn someone into him, will that satisfy you? Khali did a great job the last time!"

"No body doubles, not for my champions! Get him back in shape… or else!" he warned. Vince then stormed out of the room. Punk was sitting in the corner with a rather stunned look on his face.

"Touchy!" he said aloud.

"That's him in a good mood!" announced Triple H. "We can't get Taker back to his original size, not until his Mrs. gives birth. Kane do we do?"

I thought over our options, there's not much we CAN do really except make a double of him… wait a moment… I changed into my sorcerer's outfit. "Wait, you heard Vince!" protested Jericho.

"Yeah, but as long as no one says a thing, no one will know!" I snapped back. I used a dark soul for this task… well… it's the only kind you can use. It formed into the image of the Undertaker that I pictured in my mind. When it stood fully before me, it looked around, utterly amazed.

It's first reaction was to stare at it's hands, they are always amazed to have hands. "They… move… limitedly!" it whispered in Taker's voice. Looking to me it was rather stunned I chose it. "Master… what is my task?" it asked.

I sat it on the couch and placed in Undertaker DVDs. "You are to watch him… the image you are based upon, learn his every move, master his voice and stern look, then we will train you. My friend is a dragon and father to be, however other duties have arrived for him to complete, he cannot do this alone. Do you accept this challenge?" I asked of it.

"Always master!" it replied.

"First order, no calling me master, you call me Kane. Understand?"

It nodded to him as it turned its attention back to the TV. Hunter volunteered to keep and eye on him as I checked on our Undertaker.

He was where he said he would be, in the catering room. However the guys were avoiding him, he was drinking out of the gravy pot. "What in God's name is he doing?" whispered Edge. "He never liked gravy!"

"If he eats cucumbers, sound the alarm" I muttered to him and went to talk to my friend. Taker sat at the table, his finger catching the run off from the gravy pot… he looked upset. "Take?" I asked.

"So it is true… my wife is expecting… and… I'm getting fat" he muttered.

"Your sounding like a chick" I warned him. "It's not bad, I lost all the weight I gained in weeks when the kids grow out, you get back to normal, simple!" I told him.

Taker however didn't look thrilled. "Glen… you said so yourself, I'm not even ready yet! You were this size too, this was how big you where when you were nearly ready. Why the hell am I not!" he demanded of me.

"You could be having quite a few kids…"

"Quite a few? How many is quite a few in your books?" he demanded. "I can't do this alone… and look the realm jobs are few and far between… how the HELL am I going to be ready for my family?" he demanded.

We were given a very odd surprise… the room burst with a sudden light, as Goro of the Shokans appeared; he looked rather confused at first until he noticed us. "COUSIN!" he cheered and pulled me into his massive arms… ok… so we're getting more family like I suppose! He took notice of Taker and was instantly worried. "Friend of cousin sick?" he asked.

"Taker? He's a father to be…" I was beginning to explain.

"No, no, he's not right!" he announced to us. "He needs to be bigger to be good father; he is not big at all cousin. I do have solution though; I think he needs to return to my realm. We will take good care of him and his mate. What say you?" he asked.

Taker looked to me oddly, worried even. "I think it will be the best idea right now"

"Wonderful, have him and his family ready in one day. I will come back and take them with me, we will prepare everything!" Goro announced. He vanished once again in the burst of light, who knew Shokans could teleport?

"Glen, you damn well better be right about this! But you heard McMahon; he wants ME to be champion. What are you going to do about that? Clone me?" he asked.

"It's already taken care of" I smiled. "You call up the wife and kids and tell them to get ready…"

author's note, I know I said the last one was the last one, but I just could leave Taker like that now could I? :p