Disclaimer: No, No, The Vampire Diaries? Not Mine. Technically, as this story is a hand-me-down, the original idea is not either.

As The disclaimer says, Jimi18 was giving up Top Five en-permanence, as it goes... so I've stepped up to the plate, and with her blessing (or perhaps she is terrified and screaming in fear at this point), here is my reworked-cum-edited version of Top Five.

(All love to Jimi18)

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TOP FIVE – Chapter one

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Stefan had decided that Elena needed a treat after all that had happened – in fact, all of the girls deserved some kind of relaxation - so Elena, Bonnie and Meredith were spending the night at the most exclusive spa hotel Stefan could afford, two towns over. He hated being so far away from his one-true-love, but Stefan knew it was safer that way – he couldn't afford his 'dead' girlfriend to be seen by anyone in Fell's Church.

Stefan and Damon, on the other hand, were having some brother's time; trying to... bury the hatchet, if you will. The conversation had run dry about an hour or so before – they were now staring into the fire aimlessly, sipping on a fine single malt Damon had unearthed from Mrs. Flowers' stash.

"Have you and Elena discussed your top five?" Damon's voice almost made Stefan jump out of his seat, and he turned to his brother, confused and a little bit perturbed.

"What are you talking about Damon, what top five?"

"You know, your top five." Damon stared at his brother incredulously. Stefan and Elena were practically glued at the him – how had they not had that conversation?

"Damon, honestly, I don't have a clue what top five you are talking about." Stefan stated, shaking his head and sighing.

Damon sighed in return, knowing that he had better explain to his... uhm, dense brother the exact concept of a Top Five.

"Your top five is the list of five people that you could bump into and have sex with." Before Stefan could even begin to protest at the mere concept, Damon continued, "and Elena couldn't get upset about it. Like, if you bumped into, I don't know, Pamela Anderson and you were married to Elena you could have sex with Pammie without getting into trouble."

"Oh," Finally, he gets the concept, "You mean like a free pass?"

Damon couldn't help but roll his eyes.

"Exactly. I mean, where's the harm in it – the chances of you meeting Pamela Anderson in this tiny town are pretty slim... and the idea that she would find you even minutely attractive enough to have sex with – well, that's pretty non-existent..." Damon grinned, "It's just a bit of harmless fun!"

But Stefan knew that nothing involving his brother was ever really harmless.

"Wait, wait... do you have a top five, Damon?" If Stefan was sharing his five, he had to know his brother's.

"More like a ten, but with me it's irrelevant for several reasons. One no woman can resist my charm and good looks – so they'd be forming a queue anyway, two, I don't have a girlfriend to need a free pass, should I meet any of these girls anyway... and three," He laughed confidently, "I would never get tied down to need a free pass." Damon was bored now, just wanting to tease his brother, "Come on Stefan, shout it out!"

Stefan cringed.

"Not a word of this to Elena, right?" Damon nodded, "Promise?" Whatever Damon was, be he a liar, misogynist or thief, he would never break his promise.

"I'll even pinkie promise," As Damon grinned again and held up his little finger, Stefan couldn't help but smile. He knew that Damon had picked that one up from Bonnie – it was simply a Bonnie thing to say. Before Damon could change his mind, Stefan grabbed pinkies with Damon, Damon glanced at his brother and solemnly announced, "I promise."

All through the conversation, Stefan had been thinking about his top five. He reckoned his choices were all right, but one of them could have made life awkward for everyone involved...

"C'mon Stef! Top five now!" Damon growled impatiently.

"Fine," Stefan sighed. "One, Drew Barrymore."

"Standard," Damon nodded.

"Two, Cameron Diaz, Three, Lucy Liu..."

"You've got a Charlie's Angels fetish there, brother," Damon laughed, but was silenced at the glare Stefan levelled his way, "Sorry, carry on."

"Four, Beyonce,"

"Nice. And five?"

"Bonnie."

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