Hello all, this is my first twilight fic, and second fan fiction ever. So please enjoy. Constructive criticism is welcome along with your reviews! This isn't one of those fics where Bella just hops in bed with Jacob, but...well you know. Rated M for later chapters, R& might find that I quote quite a bit of things from new moon as well, but don't worry, after the story is where it needs to be; it will bloom into my .

Oh and P.S. I'm a newbie and need a beta, if anybody is interested PM me.

I don't own anything, only the things I may add in or create.

Chapter One

The pain was almost ebbed away by now; the only thing left was the sting of his words and the numbness of rejection. It has been several months now and I was on the verge of giving up. It was like a piece of me was torn away. I couldn't understand why it hurt as much as it did. I mean couples broke up all the time and moved on at my age. I just couldn't seem to grasp the fact that he had moved on and I was stuck in the same spot feeling the pain of his words on a daily basis. It was sickening to me how pathetic I must seem. Charlie was the worst, always sending me worried looks and asking if I was ok or if I needed anything, I guess he didn't like having a zombie as a daughter. Of course I knew that I would have to crawl out of my pit of self loathing and pity sooner than later, but it was hard to think about facing the world that passed me by without a backward glance, leaving me broken on the cold forest floor. I shivered at the memory.

However Charlie was threatening to ship me off to phoenix to live with René and Phil if I didn't start to make an effort of pulling my life together. After his painful yet undeniably true outburst about Edward he insists that I move. Yet I convinced him for my schooling purposes it was best that I stay here for my last semester. What he didn't know is that I wanted to stay here for the last and only connection to him, only thing that helped prove it wasn't all just a dream. Charlie was genuinely worried for me like any father would be and he wore it on his face in plain sight. I would have to start to make an effort, for Charlie I would. I slipped downstairs to make breakfast for him and smirked as I thought of how surprised he would be. I pulled out the bacon and slipped into the pan with a sizzle as I looked around the rest of the kitchen. The dishes were starting to pile up and the floor was sticky with something that looked like syrup. How did Charlie live before I showed up? I had to laugh at the thought. He was such a bachelor in so many ways. I sighed as I cracked a couple eggs into another pan and started on the soon to be mammoth pile of dishes, as I scrubbed a random thought came into mind, He told me to be happy and live as a human. At least if I was a vampire I wouldn't have to do dishes anymore, I scrubbed to dishes harder as I shook my head and banished the thoughts.

"Wow bells, it smells really good in here!" I jumped up and with a yelp; I dropped a plate on my foot. I couldn't help but glare at Charlie and his surprised look. He rushed over and picked up the plate and set it back into the sink.

"Sorry, it's just I haven't seen you cook breakfast in a couple months let alone see you up this early on a school day, just surprised me is all" he said with a sheepish look while he rubbed his head. I felt that slightly warm feeling again but brushed it aside.

"Well you set the table and I will finish up with the food" He grumbled something under his breath about being bossy. We sat and ate in relative silence, mostly because we were both stuffing our faces. I hadn't realised how hungry I was until I took the first bite of savoury bacon. After we ate our fill I started up with the dishes again to make sure that they wouldn't start to pile up again. "Hey bells I'm off to work, I will see you later ok" I just nodded and finished up in the kitchen. I still had about an hour to get ready for school. I walked into the bathroom with a fresh set of clothes and looked into the mirror. I am a mess, I've gotten pretty thin and I have dark circles, my hair looks like a birds nest and I had a serious smell about me.

It was nice to have Charlie off my back. After i went to the movies with Jessica I have been forcing smiles on my face constantly, getting up early and even up keeping my appearances. It was hard. Especially after the incident after the theatre. I heard his voice. I was freaked at first, I didn't know what to think; however after the shock wore off I craved more. I needed to hear him again, but I didn't know how to go about it. I needed to get out of the house so I grabbed my truck keys. After driving around for awhile I started back towards home, the empty space where the CD player used to be seemed to stick out like a sore thumb and it was making me sick to think about it. Edward took it with him. It would be as if I never existed. I hated this, I hated thinking about him because it hurt so much, but how could I stop? I don't think I ever could. My thoughts were drowned out for a moment while my truck roared up a hill and I thanked my old truck for the distraction. I looked out the window at the misting rain and noticed a sign. Bikes for Sale. My truck sputtered to a stop, seemingly exhausted by the hill and I hopped out. The sign was posted up in front of the Markses residence. The bikes carelessly strewn on the lawn forgotten near the curb seemed to remind me of myself. I almost laughed at my own pity. I trudged forward and knocked on the door.

With the bikes in the back of my truck, I pulled out my cell phone and dialled the non emergency phone number for the police station. "Chief Swan please". I said when the deputy answered. Charlie picked up the phone. "Hey bells are you ok?" he said. "Uh yeah, I just wanted to ask you for the direction to the blacks place. I wanted to visit Jacob" His voice seemed happier. "That's a great idea bells." His directions were straight forward, which I silently thanked him for.

The blacks' residence was a small wooden house with narrow windows, the paint was peeling in most places and it sort of resembled a small barn. I could see Jacobs face in the window; looks like my truck gave me away. Before I could even step out of my truck I felt strong arms wrap around me and swing me around. "Bella!" He had a big smile which let his brilliant white teeth contrast against his russet coloured skin. His face was sweet like I remembered it, but his body had outgrown the boyish muscles and made way for his more lanky build. He was devastatingly handsome with his curtain of inky black hair, high cheek bones and square defined face "Hey Jacob!" I surprised myself by smiling and really meaning it. "Wow, when are you going to stop growing?" He smile stretched even further as he puffed out his chest slightly. "6'5 and still growing" He proudly announced. I hadn't realised how much I missed him until I saw his warming smile. The rain started to pour and rivets of water poured down my face. He looked at me and grinned "Let's get you inside, you're getting soaked." He led the way while tying his hair up. We walked into the small house and warmth flooded me from the heater beside the door. Billy wheeled closer. "Hey dad, look what the cat dragged in" he pointed at me with his thumb with that lop sided grin. Billy beamed. "Hey there Bella, how have you been these days?" I felt at ease here, and I had a slight feeling of nostalgia. "I have been ok" I replied. He looked at me reprovingly making it seem like he knew something that I didn't...Charlie. He gossips like an old lady that man. I forced out a smile.

"So Bella, what'cha wanna to do?" Jacobs's deep voice interjected, cutting the building silence. I very well couldn't tell Jacob about the motorbikes in front of Billy. "I don't know. Whatever..." He seemed to think for a moment. "Well I was just about to go out and work on my car, but we can just watch some TV while I fix us up some snacks?" Perfect. "Uh no, let's go work on your car. I'm not that hungry anyways." He looked at me trying to determine something, but he gave up and shrugged. "Alright, it's out back in the garage". I gave myself a mental high-five and followed him out nodding to Billy on the way, who invited me to dinner in the near future.

He showed me his car, a 1986 Rabbit. "What's wrong with it?" I asked lamely. He mumbled something about the head gasket and muffler as he fiddled with a wrench, but brightened up right after. "She'll be done real soon; I've been working on her for three months now." He clucked the tool down. I thought about my old truck, then the bikes in the truck bed. "Hey what do you know about Motorcycles?" I asked.

"I know a little bit, my friend has one and we work on it on occasion, why?" I twisted my fingers into a knot and pursed my lips. I couldn't very well say that I grabbed a couple bike to put my life at risk just the hear Edwards voice. "Well I just grabbed a couple of bikes and well...they are not in the greatest shape. I mean I could pay you for the work." I rushed out the last part. The guilt for using Jacob was starting to make me nauseous. He blinked and looked at me surprised. "Didn't make you out to be the type to mess with a bike. But... I like the challenge, so I'll try." He wouldn't let me pay and seemed offended of the idea so I traded him one of the bikes for his work and 'lessons'. After I made a comment on his birthday he narrowed his eyes teasingly. "Gee Bella you missed it, but it's ok `cause I missed yours too. Uhh what are you like 40?" I snorted. It felt that way, I never went out anymore, and all I did was sleep and think of the past. He laughed "yeah well we can have some sort of party to make up for it all."

"Sounds like a date." I mumbled. His eyes sparkled and I cursed my own thoughtfulness. But I smiled despite my guilt because a light feeling lingered. A change in subject was needed immediately so I brought up the bikes. "Hey um I hate to sound like a nag. But the bikes are kind of in my truck right now..." he seemed not to mind and he smiled and nodded. "But let's not let Billy see, he tends to gossip with my dad from the looks of it" I said. He laughed. "Yeah they do, just like old ladies! But we can be sneaky..." He said it with a wink and grinned. I felt even lighter, I relished in it. I haven't felt good in such a long time. "It's funny; I was thinking the exact same thing earlier." We started to walk out on to the gravel driveway to grab my truck to bring it around closer to the garage. He said something about great minds think alike, but I wasn't paying attention anymore. I was watching him heft the heavy bikes out of the truck bed with ease. They seemed much heavier when me and the Markes` boy did it. He pushed the bikes into the garage and examined them. He pointed to the one on the left and commented. "This one will be worth some decent money after I'm done with it. It's an old Harley." I looked at. I didn't really care which one I got. Not like I was doing this for fun anyways. "Well you can have that one." He peered at me from the other side of the wheel of the bike that was supposed to be mine. "Are you sure bells?" I nodded. He frowned slightly. "These are going to take some money for the parts; we will have to wait a bit until we get enough cash to buy the parts."

"No Jake, since you're doing this for free I can buy the parts, I have some collage funds that I can take some out of." I would do anything to hear that silken voice again. He looked reluctant but nodded. Thank the gods for Jacob and his Y chromosome based skills.

The bikes were lying on the garage floor and Jacob was fiddling with the red one which was meant for me, he already went over the Harley and deemed with a grimace that the parts would cost possibly more than a hundred dollars for both bikes. I took out my check book and fanned myself trying to look like a high roller "it shouldn't be a problem...I'm ballin". He looked at me and chuckled. "Gee bells you're so gangster". I rolled my eyes and surprised myself at how easy it was to smile around him without forcing it. Our conversation was mostly one sided but I was actually interested in what he had to say and he didn't seem to mind too much.

"Jake?" a voice called from outside. Two tall quilette boys shuffled into the increasingly small garage and greeted Jacob. The seemingly obnoxious one was shorter than the other boy but had a muscular stocky build and had a buzz cut. The other was about the same height as Jacob with shoulder length black hair and he seemed slightly shy. They stopped and stared at me openly. "Who's the babe?" asked the short one, I couldn't stop the blush from rising to my cheeks. Jacobs's eyes narrowed and he shook his head. "Bella, this is Quil and Embry, my two good friends." The short one stepped towards me with a hand outstretched, I grabbed it "Hey, I'm Quil your next ex boyfriend." Both of the other boys slapped him in the head but he only laughed and put his hand up in a surrendering motion. "Hey man, I was just messing with her!" next the shy one stepped over and gave a small smile. "As I'm sure you can guess already, I'm Embry Call" I nodded and shook his hand but withdrew quickly then glanced at Jacob, he looked slightly annoyed at the intrusion of Quil and Embry. "Hey Jacob I have to go, Charlie will starve without me making him dinner." I giggled and almost pinched myself at my disbelief of the ease of it all. He looked down at me slightly disappoint but nodded all the same. "Alright bells. When do you think you will be by next?" I thought about this for a moment. "Well I will be here after school tomorrow." He only smiled while Quil gave him thumbs up and patted him on the back. I shook my head as I left.

Tell me what you think. It was a pretty straightforward chapter. I needed to start and build the plot as close the actual book as possible. But like I said it will bloom into something all me soon. Your reviews are my motivation! R&R! 3