Disclaimer: Dick Wolf and NBC own the characters that I am playing with.

"Fuck." That was the only word on Olivia Benson's mind anymore. Whether it was what she wanted to do, or she felt it was the only term that adequately described her situation, it still remained the only word left in her mind's vocabulary.

Hearing a gentle knock on the door, Liv jumped. She almost knocked over the full glass of wine that she had sat down to enjoy almost an hour ago. Apparently she had a lot on her mind, more than she had originally thought, seeing as she hadn't even touched it. After leaving the couch and checking through the peephole, she opened the door, letting Ed Tucker follow her inside.

"Hey," he grumbled quietly, knowing full well that it was past midnight and Noah was asleep. "Liv I—I'm so sorry. I never wanted our relationship to complicate our jobs, especially not yours and…"

"Ed. Shut the hell up and kiss me." Seeing the look he shot her, a mix of question and concern, and, yes, lust, she silenced him with a gentle peck on the lips. Pulling back and looking into his gorgeous blue eyes she began again, "I'm not fine. I'm not really okay. But right now, I just… I need this." She gestured between the two of them. "I need us. I need you. Help me forget that today happened because if you don't, I'm gonna lose it," she choked out, tears brimming on her lashes, but not quite falling.

Seeing her in such distress, Tucker grabbed her into a warm hug and kissed the top of her head. "Let's go to bed, Olivia. We can worry about everything else later. Right now let me help you forget." With that, their hands clasped together and they made their way to Liv's bedroom.

Before either of them knew what was happening, they were kissing fiercely and beginning to shed their clothes. Ed's hands had just reached around to unclasp her lacy black bra when Noah started crying.

"Dammit," gasped Liv, and in that moment, she couldn't stop the tears. She was crying for the interruption, crying because she felt guilty for being upset that Noah was crying, crying for the loss of her job in Special Victims, crying for who she has become. And once she started, she couldn't stop. The floodgates had opened and Olivia had no idea how to make it stop. Though he wanted to comfort her and, more than anything in the world, to take away her pain, Ed kissed her head and guided her to sit down on the edge of the bed. Picking up his shirt that had been so haphazardly discarded onto the floor, and pulling it over his head, he quietly left to check on Noah. The little boy stopped crying when Ed walked into his room, and outstretched his arms so he could be held.

"I, I had a bad dream," he whimpered. Immediately Ed picked up Noah and the little boy wrapped his arms around him and buried his head into Ed's neck. Ed looked around the room for Noah's blanket, the one he couldn't sleep without, and silently picked it up and wrapped it around the boy's shoulders.

"Shhh. It's okay Noah. It wasn't real. Everything's okay, buddy. You can go back to sleep and you'll only have good dreams now." Tucker rubbed the boy's back gently until he calmed enough to fall back asleep. When he heard the boy's breathing slow and steady out, he carefully laid him back on his bed, tucking him in. He made sure the night-light was on, and left as quietly as he could to go take care of the other Benson needing his attention.

Removing his shirt once more, Ed carefully slid into bed with Olivia, his back leaning against the headboard, immediately wrapping his arms around her. Much like Noah had done a few minutes before, Liv pulled herself up and buried her head into his neck and cried some more. Though not the aggressive and loud tears that she cried as he went to check on her son, her silent tears were enough to rip his heart out of his chest.

"Hey. Look at me, Liv," he pulled back. Since she had yet to move, he tried again. "Olivia, look at me." When her brown eyes, still full of tears, finally looked up at him, he couldn't help but take a deep breath. She was so beautiful. Even then, even crying, Olivia Benson was the most breathtaking person he'd ever laid eyes on.

He softly began again, "Liv. It's going to be okay. You are going to be okay. I'm going to be okay. And we will be okay. It's just gonna take some time. But I will be here for you every step of the way, and I'm not about to let you go." Her eyes searched his, but found only truth among the depths of blue. She leaned forward and kissed him gently, knowing they wouldn't be seeking comfort in each other's bodies tonight. No, instead he would hold her and she would cling to him because that's what she needed in that moment.

"Come on. Let's go to sleep, Liv," he said as he carefully dragged them down against the pillows. "In the morning, we'll wake up and I'll make us all breakfast, and maybe we'll take Noah to the park. Right now we just need to get some sleep."

She smiled softly at his plan for the next day as she closed her eyes, legs intertwining with his as she laid her head on his chest. God, he smelled good. Ed traced small circles across her back until her breathing evened out. Once he was confident she had fallen asleep, he closed his eyes was able to drift off as well.

Olivia woke up to the sound of Noah's giggling in the kitchen; god, she loved that sound. Immediately, a smile graced her lips and she got out of bed. Stretching, she pulled on a pair of Ed's sweatpants that were tossed across the chair in the corner of her room. She found her NYPD t-shirt folded neatly on top of her dresser—no doubt Ed's doing—and hastily pulled that on as well.

Making her way into the kitchen, she stopped to kiss the top of Noah's head and then pulled Ed into a warm embrace.

"Morning," he said gently, as if he was trying to gauge her emotional state after the events that had transpired the day before. She looked up at him, kissing him briefly, and then walked over to get some coffee.

"Ed, I'm fine." Though her back was turned to him, she knew exactly what look he was giving her. "Okay, so maybe I'm not, but you can't treat me like I'm about to break into pieces. I'm a lot tougher than I look, you know. Sometimes you just have to be a little flexible with life," she exclaimed, moving back to her place next to him.

"Oh trust me, I know hon," he casually replied, not even bothering to hide the small, flirtatious smirk. "You, Olivia Benson, are quite flexible." Though she rolled her eyes and a smile played upon her lips he continued, "I just care about you, ya know? I want to make sure you are okay because I know this is the farthest thing from easy for you."

"I know… and I appreciate it, I do. I just… I don't want you to see me as this weak person who falls apart so easily. God, I can't believe I lost it like that last night."

"Olivia. Stop it. I could never see you as weak. You are the strongest person I have ever met. Everybody falls apart a little sometimes. You needed to cry last night, so don't think you are weak for doing so. Trust me. It's okay to show me what you are really feeling." Looking into his eyes, Liv could see how much he meant what he was saying. His arm snaked around her waist and pulled her close. She felt like home to him, and god, if that didn't both thrill and scare the living hell out of him.

"Ohmygod Ed," Liv gasped as she let out a little laugh. "That was… holy shit." A small, satisfied grin appeared on her face, and Ed couldn't help but mirror her look. Holding him close, she gently ran her hands up and down his arm feeling the chiseled muscles. The man's body looked amazing in those suits he wears to work, but damn, it's even better out of them.

"God Liv. You're incredible," he replied as he leaned in for a brief kiss. "Honestly though, you're going to have to learn to be quieter if we don't want to wake Noah," he smirked as she looked at him incredulously.

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, you heard me. As I'm quite positive the neighbors heard you. You're really lucky Noah isn't a light sleeper when he's exhausted." Liv blushed automatically.

Seeing the look he was giving her all she could ask was, "What? Why are you giving me that look?"

"Nothing Liv. You're just so damn cute when you blush. Actually, you're kinda sexy all the time." She couldn't help but blush more at his compliments; she'd never really been the type to easily accept them.

Ed pulled Olivia closer to him and kissed her forehead.

"Hey, what's wrong Ed? You've been acting strange all day. Tell me what's on your mind," she said, gently caressing his cheek.

"Liv, you do know that I care about you right?"

She narrowed her eyes in response, "Of course. Tucker, you're starting to scare me here. What is it?" He looked a little pale and she was seriously worried at where the conversation was headed. Though she had no idea what to expect, she know Ed Tucker did not shy away from anything easily, so whatever it was had to be a big deal. She sat up, though remained in bed, and turned her body so they could face each other.

"Olivia, I had nothing to do with this whole situation at work. I would never be involved or cover up something like that. Never." He looked into her piercing brown eyes for fortification of what was coming next. "But if nobody gets to the bottom of this shitstorm, I need you to know that I want you to let me go." Holding up his hand to silence her, "No, Liv. Before you say anything, let me get this out. You are meant to be head of Special Victims. It is your life. Well, that and Noah. But it's where you belong. I could never and would NEVER want to take that away from you. So if this doesn't shake out the way we want it to… the way we need it to, then I need you to promise me you will walk away from this and get your life back," he choked out.

She couldn't keep the tears at bay as she carefully formulated her response. "Edward Tucker, you stubborn ass, there is no way I can promise you that. You forgot one very important point in your little speech there. You. You are part of my life, Ed and you can't just ask me to let you go. Not when I—" she paused briefly, a little shocked at what she almost just said, "Not when I care about you so much. I know we can't really rely on anyone to get to the truth right now, but we will figure it out. You and me, Ed. We're gonna fix this because I know we both want our lives back. And you better believe that the two of us, stubborn as hell cops are going to figure this out."

Ed couldn't really keep the tears away either, especially when considering being without Olivia. "I prefer the term 'dedicated' though I suppose stubborn works too," he laughs. "And don't you for a second think I don't feel the exact same way about you, Benson." Looking deeply into her eyes, he saw her recognize exactly what he meant by that.

He leaned down and captured her mouth in a sweet kiss. As soon as he started to pull away, Liv deepened the kiss, grabbing at the back of his neck. Threading one hand through her hair, Ed used the other to bring her closer. She straddled him, moaning into his mouth, as the kiss grew even more heated.

"Shit Liv. You. Are. So. Amazing," he gasped, in between kisses. "Mmmm. You taste like bourbon."

Olivia pulled back and laughed a little as she explained, "Well maybe I taste like that because someone was adamant that I try the damn bourbon that first night. Now I know I actually like some of it; you ruined me." He smiled against her neck as he continued to kiss, lick, and suck his way from the spot just behind her ear down to her breasts. When he reached her left breast he swirled his tongue around her nipple and sucked on it, while pulling her other breast into his hand. He couldn't get enough of her. Hearing her moan, he released her nipple with a "pop" sound, and switched over to the right nipple.

"Ed," she gasped breathlessly as he continued to work her over. She couldn't help but arch her back and push her breasts further into him, while she began to grind her hips over his. "Oh my god, Ed. Yessssss!"

Not being able to take anymore, Ed quickly grabbed her hips and flipped them over, so he staring down into her surprised eyes. He reached down between them and felt just how wet and ready she was. She was dripping for him. After bending down and kissing her, he asked, "You ready baby?"

Liv moaned in response and ran her hand over the tip of his hardness. He sucked in his breath quickly as spread her legs a little farther apart so he could push in. Feeling Ed fill her up, Liv ginned in satisfaction. He began moving in slow, deep strokes that were the complete opposite from earlier that night. Before, he had fucked her hard, and though they both enjoyed every moment of it, this was better. This wasn't just about physically satisfying one another; this was the culmination of every feeling—every emotion—that remained partially unspoken between them. This was about love.

Hitting into her at just the right angle, Ed found her g-spot and Liv came undone quickly. "Oh my god, Ed, don't stop. Don't stop baby. Yes!" she whimpered loudly, not bothering to worry about waking the neighbors or anyone else for that matter. She reached up and grasped the back of Ed's head, dragging his lips to hers. Her tongue danced around his until she arched up and cried out, reaching her climax.

"Yes baby. Come for me, Liv," he whispered into her ear. Ed felt her clench around his dick and pulled out almost all the way before slamming back into her. After a few more deep thrusts, he spilled into her and held on to her, and lovingly kissed her shoulder as she rode out her orgasm.

After pulling out of her, he quickly pulled Olivia into his arms. They wrapped around her lower back and she reached up to gently stroke his cheek as she kissed him languidly. Burying her head into him, she tried to catch her breath. She felt at home feeling the rise and fall of Ed's chest and listening to his heartbeat.

In that moment she was as happy as she's ever been. Though she knew clearing his name and getting them both reinstated at work was not going to be easy, she had full confidence that they would get through it. No matter what, Ed was part of her home now. Despite the fact that it scared her, she knew she loved him. Words still unspoken, the pair looked into each other's eyes and knew the depths of their feelings. The word "fuck" was now replaced by the word "love" in her mind's vocabulary, and though they still had a lot to overcome, love would certainly help get them there.