Chapter One

One moment Adam stood watching the white fluffy clouds move slowly across a clear blue sky, the next he was watching those same clouds as they gathered together and turned dark and black. Thunder began rolling as lightning started flashing. Before he knew it, Adam felt a thousand bolts of lightning surge through him and he screamed.

"Adam!" Little Joe, who had run into his brother's room when he heard the unearthly screams escape Adam's bedroom and reaching their ugly fingers into his room, Joe's, room, grabbed Adam by the shoulders and fought to keep his brother down as the man lashed out at ghosts only he could see. By the time Ben and Catlin, who had also heard Ben's eldest's screams of terror, entered the room, Adam was sitting up perspiring like mad and Little Joe sitting up against the wall holding onto his shoulder.

"What happened?" Ben quickly moved to Adam's side while Catlin took a look at Little Joe.

Adam, who had been shaking like a leaf, regained control of himself as he looked at his younger brother. He could tell, by the pained looked on Little Joe's face and the way Catlin was shaking her head, his baby brother's left shoulder had most likely been dislocated. "I…I don't know."

"It was my fault." Little Joe, with his stepmother's help, stood up while he held his arm close to his body, spoke up. "He was having another nightmare. I grabbed his shoulders instead of his arms like I usually do." Grabbing his brother's arms was what he normally did, as to avoid things like being punched or thrown back, just like what had just happened.

"Come down stairs, Little Joe." Catlin nodded towards the open door. "I'll have one of the ranch hands go for the doctor."

Ben said and did nothing until his wife and son were out of the room. Only when Catlin had shut the door behind her did Ben look at Adam, grave concern in his eyes. Ever since he and his other sons had found Adam lying up in the mountains with wounds to his chest, wounds inflicted by Matsu the Bannock Indian, Adam had suffered one nightmare after another. "Son, as you know, I used to have nightmares after my ordeal. What you don't know is they only stopped after Catlin put her foot down and insisted that I talk about what had happened; it helped. You need to talk about what happened to you."

Adam said nothing as he threw his legs over the side of the bed. He knew his father meant well. Still, talking about having buffalo bones stuck through your chest and hung two feet over a fire filled with herbs that made one hallucinate; well, that was something he didn't care to talk to anyone about. Besides, he'd been the one to offer the idea to Matsu in the first place.

Ben watched as Adam reached out for his pants; they hung over the back of a nearby chair, all the time waiting for his eldest to say something, anything to indicate he'd heard him. When Adam did speak, it wasn't what Ben wanted to hear.

"I can't get dressed if you continue to stand there." Adam turned his head and looked up at his father.

With it being four in the morning, Ben would have argued with Adam, but he knew it would have been useless. It was obvious his oldest son meant to be downstairs when the doctor arrived to take a look at Little Joe's shoulder. "I still wish you'd tell me, or somebody, about your ordeal." Ben said quietly as he turned and left the room.

Catlin was sitting in the red chair, when Ben walked down the stairs while Little Joe lay on the couch with a somewhat pained look on his face. "How are you son?" Ben asked as Catlin started to stand to give her husband "his" chair only to be stopped when Ben laid his hand upon her shoulder.

"I'll be fine once doc gets here. How's Adam?" Joe was afraid of what Adam might do since he was, most likely, taking what had happened pretty hard. It wasn't his oldest brother's fault that he, Little Joe, hadn't taken the time to stop and think before he laid his hands on Adam's shoulders instead of his arms.

"Getting dressed," Ben answered as he sighed. "I wish I knew what happened out there." His wife and youngest son nodded in agreement. Before anyone had time to say another word, Adam was walking down the stairs. Instantly a very awkward silence filled the air. Ben, Little Joe and Catlin all wanted to tell Adam, he needn't worry or blame himself about accidently hurting his brother, although they didn't. How could they? Just as Adam stepped off the last of the stairs, their foreman opened the door and let the doctor in. The good man had actually been on his way home after helping their closest neighbor birth her baby.

~oOo~

Little Joe and Hoss, who had brought his wife and son over to stay with Catlin and Ben for the day, stood in the yard, along with their father, and watched Adam leading Sport out of the barn. Once again, they tried to talk Adam out of his plans.

"Adam, why can't ya jist stay?" Hoss took a few steps towards his brother who was beginning to tighten the cinch on his saddle.

"I told you, Adam," Little Joe spoke up, "This isn't your fault."

Adam turned his head and looked at his baby brother with his left arm in a sling; Little Joe's shoulder had indeed been badly dislocated. He didn't agree with Little Joe. Sure, maybe his baby brother should have known that he needed to put his hands on his, Adam's, arms. Only that didn't matter; it didn't change the fact that Adam had struck out and sent his brother flying. "And what happens next time?" He asked the question to both his father and brothers. "What if Miss Catlin is the only one around when I have another nightmare?" He was looking straight at his father when he asked the question.

Ben had never felt so torn in his life. With Catlin just finding out she was carrying Ben's child, he knew full well what his eldest feared. Still… "You don't have to go. I'll just make sure your stepmother understands that, no matter what, she is not to be the one to try to wake you or calm you down."

Adam threw his father a small smile, as he lifted his left foot and placed it into the stirrup and then mounted Sport. His father meant well and Catlin would do her best do as Ben asked only, just like his baby brother, she too could easily forget and rush to Adam in the midst of one of his tortuous nightmares.

"I'll send a wire the first chance I get; I promise." Adam's eyes were full of sorrow and hurt for his family, as he pulled the reins in his hands just enough to let Sport know it was time to start their journey.

"Adam…" Little Joe started after his brother only to find Ben's hands upon his uninjured shoulder.

"Let him go." Ben said with a catch in his voice and pain in his eyes. "Hurry back my son; things won't the same until you do." Ben thought before he looked at Little Joe and glanced at Hoss out of the corner of his eye. "Let him go. He knows what he's doing." He then let go of his youngest boy's shoulder, turned and disappeared back into the house.

"How long you reckon he'll be gone?" Little Joe asked quietly, not that he really expected Hoss to answer.

Hoss shook his head and let out a long sigh. "Iff'n I knew that, I woulda known how to make him stay." Hoss then pointed out that he and Little Joe needed to get to work. After all, Little Joe still had one good arm and could do a few things to help.