A/N: I don't by any means think this is a good piece of work, I'd like to point out lool. It was very rushed, has no proper ending and I don't think my heart is entirely in it because it's not a pairing I care about. But whatever. Someone on the LJ comm wanted it, so here it is. Please don't hate me, I'm a Galex shipper really!! Also, un-beta'd, so any mistakes are my own.
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters. I am not the BBC or Kudos, unfortunately.
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Alex sat at the table alone, listening to the soft pitter-patter of rain on the window beside her seat. Her eyes flickered from one person to the next; Ray, Shaz, Chris, and then back to Shaz. They were all so carefree and happy – just another night at Luigi's. Alex was finding it harder and harder to remember that they were just constructs, created by the bullet that sent her back to this strange, imaginary world. That her own mind had created such complex, fascinating people.
It had seemed so real though, hadn't it? Watching her parents die for the second time. The smell, the sound of the explosion, the confused expression on her younger-self's little face as Gene Hunt whisked her away from the scene unfolding in front of her – it was all too real to be part of her imagination. Wasn't it? And how would she have known to place the video tape there? It wasn't part of her subconscious – as a child she'd never even seen it; wasn't in the room when Gene destroyed it.
That brought her onto another problem – Gene. It was possible that she'd just placed his face in to fill the gaps, but what if that wasn't it? What if Gene Hunt really had existed?
Alex closed her eyes, dipping her head so that her nose wavered above the full glass of wine that sat in front of her. That smelt pretty real too.
"Ma'am?"
Her eyes snapped open and she looked up, fast enough that she somehow managed to knock the glass of wine over, the contents spilling all down the front of her blouse. She cursed, and, with some help from Shaz, who grabbed a cloth from Luigi, mopped up the most of the mess on the table. But the blood-red liquid had still left a pretty nasty translucent stain on the front of her top, of which Alex was well aware that the eyes of most of her male colleagues were now fixed on. She groaned.
"I'm so sorry ma'am, I didn't mean to startle you like that," Shaz said, placing the glass upright and ringing out the cloth into it, "you save my life and this is 'ow I repay you."
"It's not your fault Shaz," Alex muttered, gazing up into the brunette's dark eyes.
She's always felt particularly close to Shaz. At first, she had put it down to the fact that they were both women in a man's world - it was different in 2008; Alex was used to working with other women, and they were treated just the same as any other police officer, but in 1981, men still dominated the force – but she'd soon realized that it wasn't that at all. Shaz was the only one of her imaginary constructs that she could rightfully call her own, that she hadn't 'borrowed' from Sam Tyler.
"You should go clean yourself up," Shaz said, breaking the silence.
Alex nodded and slid off her seat. She was more than a little drunk and, as she tried to get up, found that she couldn't stand upright properly. Sensing her difficulty, Shaz slipped an arm round Alex's waist, leading her towards the stairs round the back, giving Chris – who was joking around with Ray and not paying much attention – a quick explanation.
They reached the top of the steps and Alex fished around in her jacket pocket for the keys. Shaz couldn't remember having ever been inside the flat. She felt quite awkward even just standing outside the building where her senior officer was living, and fidgeted slightly as she waited for Alex to find the keys.
"Can you... I don't think I can..." Alex slurred, trying to fit the key in the lock and failing. She turned, and dumped it unceremoniously in Shaz's hand.
Once Shaz had opened the front door, she turned to leave, deciding that Alex was safe. It wasn't until a hand grabbed her shoulder that she turned back around, looking at Alex with slight surprise.
"I 'ave to get back to Chris, ma'am," Shaz said, her voice soft and nervous.
Alex ignored her, pulling her inside the flat. This is my sodding imagination, and I will do what I bloody well want, she thought, and after the day I've had, I think I'm allowed.
The lights were off, and Alex made no move to turn them on. Her hands found their way around Shaz's waist, and pulled her close, her lips clashing with the younger woman's. Shocked, Shaz's mouth opened to protest, but Alex took it as an excuse to let her tongue explore. After a moment, Shaz felt herself returning the kiss, the alcohol washing over both of them and making neither of them sure what they were doing.
"Your lips..." Alex muttered, between kisses, "are so soft."
Shaz broke the kiss, sitting down heavily on the sofa. Her mind was racing. Chris was downstairs, messing around with the lads, probably annoying Luigi with his many jokes about Italians, and here she was, kissing the DI. She didn't know what to think. Her lips were buzzing from the contact, her body aching from the physicality of having someone touch it all over. This wasn't like what she and Chris did. They were clumsy, didn't know what they were doing, and had never gone beyond a few kisses. She didn't know what to do in a situation like this. All she knew was that she wanted to feel Alex touch her again.
Alex moved to the sofa, and took Shaz's hands in her own, tugging until the brunette stood. Her fingers slid under Shaz's top, pulling, as she kissed her again. She wasn't sure what this was, but she knew she needed it, needed to feel something real. Her lips moved from Shaz's lips, to her neck, kissing along the soft skin, down to her collar bone. Shaz didn't seem to have any complaints, and Alex took this as a sign to continue, pulling at her sweater, her lips only leaving Shaz's skin so that she could pull the item of clothing off over her head.
"You're soaked through," Shaz whispered, looking at Alex with wide, slightly scared eyes.
"Mmm. You could help me sort that out though?" she took Shaz's hands again, placing them carefully round her waist, slightly under her top.
Shaz stared at her hands, not really knowing what to do. They shook as she moved one upwards, brushing the slightly damp skin of Alex's stomach, then up more, until her fingertips grazed the bottom of her bra. Her breath caught in her throat. Some niggling voice in the back of her head – which sounded suspiciously like her mother – kept telling her to stop this now, that it wasn't right, but Shaz wouldn't listen. This was what she'd wanted from Chris for weeks. If she wasn't getting it from him, she had to get it from somewhere, and here Alex was offering it up on a plate. She couldn't say no.
Tensing, Alex silently pleaded Shaz to continue, her eyes slipping closed as Shaz's fingers moved over her skin. This wasn't wrong, was it? You couldn't use someone who didn't exist. No, it wasn't using her, not at all. Did constructs even have real feelings?
"Stop thinking," Shaz said, and Alex couldn't help but laugh.
Shaz smiled, seeming to calm a little. She lifted Alex's shirt with one hand, peeling her jacket off with the other, and soon, with some help from Alex, both garments were on the floor. Shaz took a moment to take in the woman who was standing in front of her, before lifting her eyes to Alex's.
"I don't know... I don't know what I'm doing," she said, her voice wavering.
"It's okay, I'll help you," Alex replied, huskily, taking Shaz by the hips again, kissing her gently, and then deeper, her hands moving to unzip Shaz's jeans.
The jeans were soon discarded, then Alex's, and finally they moved to the bedroom. Shaz soon found herself being pinned to the wall as Alex's mouth explored the newly exposed skin, every kiss leaving a tingling sensation. Shaz breathed out sharply, instinctively wrapping her legs round Alex's, clinging to her back so hard that her nails dug in. She barely acknowledged the hand pushing her knickers to one side, but let out a sharp cry when the same hand moved inside Shuddering, she urged it further, squeezing her eyes closed and pushing her hips forward.
Alex continued to kiss along Shaz's jaw, not really concentrating, controlling her hand instead. Her eyes had long since closed, and her breathing quickened. Suddenly, she heard a noise in the corner of the room, and her eyes fluttered open.
She froze.
"Molly!" she gasped, quickly removing herself from Shaz, not noticing as the younger woman slid to the floor.
Alex moved over to the space where her daughter had just been standing, and tears gathered in her eyes, "come back!" she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
Shaz pulled herself up from the floor and looked over at Alex with a frown. She desperately wanted to understand. Everything about the other woman showed pain and hurt, and part of Shaz couldn't help but believe the rambling that everyone else put down to insanity. But then, she was standing in her underwear, talking to a daughter who, as far as they could work out, didn't exist. And Shaz certainly couldn't see her.
"I'm...I'm gonna go," Shaz said, heading out to the living room and fixing her clothing.
Alex didn't seem to hear her. She was kneeling on the floor, sobbing, clutching to the wall as if letting go would be fatal. What was I thinking? You're the only real thing here, the only thing that matters. I let you down Molls.
Leaving the flat, Shaz sat down on the stairs, her head in her hands, and cried. She knew she'd done something absolutely stupid, and that she couldn't just blame the alcohol. There was something exciting about Alex, something that made her heart pound and her brain not process properly.
"Shazza, you alright? Been 'ooking for ya."
Shaz looked up. It was Chris. She threw her arms around him, sobbing into his coat.
"Take me home Chris," she whispered. And he did as she said.